All they care about is their kids, no one else, not even you

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Lets face it. If you're sick they don't care. Their kid was sick that's all that matters.

If you're tired they don't care. They are tired. Their kid is tired and acting out about it. They are tired from being around their exhausting bratty kid. That's all that matters.

If you want to do something other than hang out with their kids 24/7 in the few moments of free time you actually have it doesn't matter. They have their kids. That's all that matters. You should be excited and enthused to spend time with their kids even though they are usually rude, exhausting and act like spoiled brats most of the time. That's when they aren't like watching paint dry to hang out with and talk to.

Even if it's your birthday, if their kid is sick or they don't have a sitter or they don't have the money because they spent it all on their spoiled brat kids too bad for you. As long as thier kids get to do what they want that's all that matters. As long as their kids have a nice birthday and feel special that's all that matters.

If you worked extra hard this week it doesn't matter. You better spend that extra money on their brats no matter how hard you worked for it. It doesn't matter that it's never reciprocated, it does not matter how much crap their kids have that they do not use, do not appreciate or do not need. All that matters is their kids have stuff, stuff, and more stuff. Who really cares if you worked yourself into exhaustion and don't really get to enjoy any of it for yourself. You should be spending money on them. You do not matter.

If you need a little extra help with money this month forget about it. That's a non negotiable. They have kids and can't help you PERIOD.......AT ALL.....EVER!!!!! However if they are ever stuck in a bind (which happens often) or are behind on their bills (also happens often) you are expected to help them even though its never reciprocated, EVER!!!!

You do not matter!!!! PERIOD!!!!! END OF STORY!!!!!

I might add if they meet someone who can offer them and thier kids more (being a more generous ATM for them and their kids) you best bet you will be gone in an instant without them looking back and they will make you look like the bad guy/gal by making up some ridiculous story about how you were bad to their kids or didn't want a ready made family or some bs even though you've spend months or possibly years of your valuable time and hard earned money helping and being there kids that aren't even related to you, who also weren't required to even act respectfully towards you the majority of the time. But don't worry the majority of people see through them, they just don't say anything. That is why they have no real friends and are where they are in life. Also they are just using their new love interest too just like they were using you, only you are the lucky one. The one who got away thankfully and dodged the step parent bullet/trap. It wasn't love..... it was just an illusion.

And yes their kids will have major issues when they grow up. Don't forget that icing on the cake.

Yep-just about sums it up

Yep-just about sums it up.That's why I got out- they're still in that crazy shit but I'm in a lovely peaceful place all on my own...

So you are dating a man who

So you are dating a man who demands you help him with bills and spend money on his children. He is often behind on bills and you have to bail him out? You are a single woman but don’t get to enjoy your money because you have to support him and his kids? Previously you said you clean his house too and you don’t go on dates much.

And why are you with him? You need to work on your self esteem and self respect. Is there any particular reason you dint think you can do better than such losers? Are you in therapy? I really think you’d benefit from learning how to understand your worth

Not all men with children are

Not all men with children are like that, so don't assume you can't find one that treats you well.

I second that Tog. Also I

I second that Tog. Also I will add that this sounds more like one of my ex’s who didn’t have kids.

Moved in my house, didn’t want to pay rent, spent extra money on his dog or friends who needed help, his friends were always most important and would ditch me if something more fun came up.... yes even on my bday once!! And I was forced also to spend countless hours with his friends and he could care less about my interests.

There are certainly challenges that come with step life..... but this sounds more like a ‘jerk problem’.

If this is your relationship.

If this is your relationship.. you are with the wrong person. You need to leave.

While I will admit that marrying someone with children may require some compromise and might mean that resources are spread thin.. you should not feel unvalued. I mean, I get that if a kid gets SICK on a special day.. that sometimes just cannot be helped... and you deal with it.. but the systematic abusive perspective you describe should never be accepted as your "new normal".

You seriously need to

You seriously need to reevaluate your relationship. I can feel the frustration in your post. It's not normal or okay for someone to put you second ALL THE TIME to their kids. My husband and I put each other first, and our kids (bs13months and sd7) are perfectly happy and well-cared for. There is no need for this.

I can relate to your

I can relate to your frustrations. I know my husband cares deeply about me, but I was definitely understanding how you felt reading the top paragraphs of your post. My husband expected me to cook, clean, and pay for his spoiled kids. He expected me to treat his kids as special when they treated me like crap on birthdays. He coddled them when they were sick and showed little care for me when I was sick and pregnant. He'd tell you a different story, but that's still how I see the past.

I know my husband has and will stupidly put the skids in front. I've confronted him about feeling like I'm fourth (behind the skids and BM). It's gotten a lot better over the years, particular after I had a kid with DH, because now I just don't care. I have my own that I'll put first, but there is still so much resentment there and I question the relationship a lot.

I hope this is a rant in which your husband has some decent qualities, but the last paragraph about husbands leaving when they find a bigger ATM, doesn't sound like it. Take care of yourself.