Advise on table manners please......
I need some input here. So I've been in my SD8's life for just about three years. And her dad and I constantly fight about table manners! I hate bad table manners. In my opinion when you are 8 years old you should be able to eat with a fork, not your fingers, close your mouth when you chew, not smack your lips together and not talk with food in your mouth. Basic table manners. Again in my opinion!
My SD8 usually arrives around dinner time on Fridays so I sit through dinner listening to the two of them talk about the week with food in their mouths!! Most of the time I can't understand the words! Its like their own language!! LOL If we are watching a movie and she gets a snack I will usually leave the room as the lip smacking makes my skin crawl!!
Anyways I could go on and on about it and in more detail but here's where I need your advise. My BF says I have double standards because I sometimes talk with food in my mouth and we were at dinner last night at my parents and he said my dad was doing it. I do think that sometimes it happens, but throughout the whole meal!! I watch her pause to breath, put more food in her mouth and then continue talking!! So is it possible that I don't notice other people? It is just because my SD irritates that heck out of me with her whining and crying that I pay more attention to her and this is how I show my frustration with her by focusing on it? I really do want to "get over it" but it is just so freaking annoying. I've tried to push it out of my mind, and told myself I wasn't going to let it bother me but it really really does!!
Oh and my BF just says "well there are worse things that she could do" Really? }:)
Call them out on
Call them out on it^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Yup, that's what I had to do with SD14. She was the same as yours. NO table manners at all. I watched her wolf down 2 plates of spaghetti, all while chewing with her mouth open, talking, smacking her lips, using her fingers to scoop up the noodles, etc.
After she was almost finished with her second full plate, I looked at DH and said, "Well, honey, YOU have impeccable table manners. Why is it that your daughter doesn't?" She got all pissed at me and said that her mother doesn't seem to think anything is wrong with how she eats her food. I asked Dh if he had a problem with it. He looked like a deer in headlights for a second and then said to her, "Please eat appropriately at our table. No smacking your lips, no chewing with your mouth open and for pete's sake, please stop eating so fast! No one is taking your plate away from you!"
I still had to have him remind her pretty much every meal and she was 12/13...
this very issue is why we
this very issue is why we don't eat at the table anymore. ss16 eats with his mouth wide open, uses his fingers or a fork in his palm and scoops like hes shoveling in a speed race. DH thinks it's cute when he eats like he's staving, I think it's disgusting, so I quit sitting at the table and then so did dh cuz he wants to eat with me too. Now we are in this rut of eating in front of the tv and ss16 eats in the rec room while playing xbox. Not perfect family circle stuff but it works for me!
YES!!! SD 8 eats peas with
YES!!! SD 8 eats peas with her fingers!! And uses her finger to push food onto her fork/spoon. I would get smacked if I ever did that at her age. I made the mistake of asking her if her fork was broken, and SO looked at me like I was out of line!!
SD11 ate a fried egg with her
SD11 ate a fried egg with her fingers once.
The mental image of this
The mental image of this actually made some bile rise up into my mouth. That is BEYOND disgusting.
I was raised in the south. Our Father told me ONE time to stop doing something (up til I was about 4, and then I didn't get any more warnings.) After that, he gave my mother a look and she got up and took my plate back to the kitchen. Then my next opportunity to straighten up and fly right was whenever the next mealtime was. You bet your ass I learned to use my utensils and mind my manners real quick.
Made me laugh. Thanks!
Made me laugh. Thanks!
My SD10 and DH are the same
My SD10 and DH are the same way. I love them both, but lord help them with their manners. They both know their manners, and that is evident when we go out to eat... but at home it's another story. I'm constantly reminding SD to chew with her mouth closed. Next I'm going to try to work on her eating spaghetti (I was taught to twist the spaghetti around a fork (using a spoon to help))... and she just doesn't comprehend that. As for DH, he doesn't have a problem with chewing with his mouth open, but he does drink the milk (leftover from cereal) and/or soup out of the bowl! That truly makes me cringe... Now I haven't seen him do this in public, just at home... but still. Ugh!
I also taught my SD a saying that my grandma told me whenever she caught me chewing gum/food with my mouth open... "A gum chewing girl and a cud chewing cow, the only difference I allow is the intelligent look on the face of the cow." That usually gets her to stop doing it right away.
I have the same issues, SD is
I have the same issues, SD is 12 and SS is 9, my bd's are 7 and 10 - SD eats like a pig, food spraying everywhere, fingers in it, elbows up like she's about to take flight. Mess all over. OH thinks it's cute too. blerk.
SS only used a knife and fork for the first time last year (!!!!!!!!!!!) I was amazed at the praise and adulation OH piled on when he did it............
Regarding table manners, I just use my girls to point out things - sort of teaching them by osmosis if you like. I notice something and will "remind" my 2 of their table manners - dd7 please close your mouth while you are eating... whatever it is.
It has taken a while but these days I am seeing that as soon as I point something out like that to mine the skids will stop doing it.
OH was laughing at sd about how she eats (like in an "isn't she the cutest" way) She said "BM says I eat like you daddy" Big cheesy grin - so proud the pair of them
I pointed out that it may be barely ok for a man to eat like that but it's not so good for a girl, imagine going on a first date and eating like a pig? Won't be a second date that's for sure. }:)
My sd11 thinks it's still
My sd11 thinks it's still okay to get food all over her mouth like she's a 4 year old. I think she does it on purpose because she thinks it is cute and DH seems to agree. Seriously??? You're 11 years old and you can't eat wings without getting sauce all over your cheeks and chin? I think it's ridiculous.
Milk. with my sd11 she thinks
Milk. with my sd11 she thinks a milk mustache is cute. She is ignored. she still does it. She also will "drink" out of her EMPTY cup. I hate the sound of the plastic against the table. ver and over in the same meal. I want to shove the cup in her mouth.
Oh your number 2 bought up
Oh your number 2 bought up another sd issue for me LOL
She will serve herself before everyone is there, and pick out the "good bits" - if we have stir-fry chicken the little sod will pick out all the chicken! And leave a plate of vegies for everyone else!
I got around that by serving everyones meals for them, so now what she does is eat all the chicken (or whatever) leave the bits she doesn't like - say ":Daddddyyyyy I don't like --- can I leave this?" Followed up with "I'm still hungry can I have some more?" And he lets her, so then she goes and picks out all the good bits from what's left...
And he SAYS nothing! No "eat what is on your plate before you get seconds", No "don't pick bits out of the food the leftovers are for everyone not just you"
GRRRR
That would make me insane. I
That would make me insane. I go to great pains to cook nutritionally complete meals. The right balance of vegetables, starch, protein, dairy, etc...It's VERY important to me that everyone eats a serving of everything in accordance to their size and dietary requirements. What is the point of doing that if one person is just going to cherry pick? AND we have a family of 10. I often cook "stretcher" meals. If one person went through and picked out ALL the meat, I would be torqued. REAL torqued.
Yep - exactly! The skids do
Yep - exactly!
The skids do not really 'do' vegetables...
My kids eat the complete meal put in front of them - unless there is something they particularly hate, they eat the full meal before they get seconds.
When the skids are here I'm feeding 6-7 people, and yes - I cook "stretcher" meals too, so when she does this it means everyone else misses out.
We've talked about the seconds thing, I try not to sweat on what his kids eat or not, I serve a nutrionally balanced meal and what he makes them eat is not my problem (it's the only way to maintain my relationship and mental health!)
Oh well, what do you do!
You're hilarious and awesome!
You're hilarious and awesome!
My SD8 is a total disgusting
My SD8 is a total disgusting slob in every area of her life. She even throws snack wrappers on the ground wherever she is standing....Bleh! I can't even be around her when she eats!