Advice required for hosting adult SD families
Hi I’m a new user at my wits end . I have two adult SDs who both have families and live abroad . We live in Europe . Both SDs have stayed with children in our home . One SD stayed for 7 weeks , all food , car hire , toys, children’s clothes , toys, games, books. Bikes, scooters, swimming costumes etc provided . No thanks, no Acknowledgment. I received a bag of coffee for Christmas . Three children under 6 yrs , parents in law, cousins. Aunts and Unckes all hosted , wines and dined . Second SD currently in residence with three month old baby , heating on 24/7 and ( no TV in background) bad for baby development. They have both received invites to their cousins wedding in Europe . At Christmas. I am dreading this time of year I normally love . Both SDs do not get along with each other . I suspect they will want to stay in our home for Christmas and wedding . My heart says yes it is the season for being together . However both families required extra rooms for snoring husbands , bath and bedtime routines . Am I unreasonable to raise the issue of an Airbnb for them to sort out along with car hire, car seats, cots, high chairs ?
I'm in a filthy mood today
I'm in a filthy mood today and it's a pity to waste it. I'd tell them that they can have the garden but have to bring their own tents.
Welcome to the site! I would
Welcome to the site! I would not ever agree to host my own adult kids for more than a couple nights, same with the SKIDs. I vote you say no to the hospitality. Seven weeks is just taking the piss.
PS nice to have more UK members aboard here - we are quite few.
Print out or #copyandpaste a
Print out or #copyandpaste a list of places THEY can choose from that will accomidate them.
I would offer to make a brunch 1 day then dinner another night. Other than that they are on their own for meals and site-seeing.
IF on the other hand you allow them to stay then you cant be upet.
FYI, we live in a great spot. Lots of people come this way to go on vacations. Years ago I "FELT" obligated to allow relatives and yes some friends stay in our place so THEY didnt have to shell out hotel money. Wasnt I niceeee.
As YOU know it is a ton of work to prepare for over night guests. Also costs.
Now that I am older, that WE are older I finally said no more.
You quickly find out who reallllly wants to see you and who was only looking for free accomidations.
Last fall a very close relative of mine (snowflake age) sent a text. "HEY road trip going past your house can we stay"...
She didnt even say HEY how are you doing? I was pissed. She is lucky I didnt call her parents. I know she was raised better then to say HEY ROAD TRIP can we stay?
So i sat on her text for many hours and finally replied. "We stopped having overnight guests years ago" We would love to see you and meet for lunch.
Crickets.
Never allow family to use your home as a free hotel. Doesnt matter what part of the country you live in. Same goes for watching familes "fur babies" while they are on vacation.
Board your darn pets like a lot of people have to do. OR pay up and give us money.
We downsized. From 3200Ft
We downsized. From 3200Ft^2 6br to 2200 2br to avoid clingers. Guests can come, be comfortable and enjoy our home for a few days then they can leave.
We are at a stage in life where we are interested in quality of visits not numbers of visitors.
Although our apartment is
Although our apartment is quite small, that didn't stop SS from wanting to move in, despite knowing we had a 1 BR and he has to sleep on living room floor. I think we will purposely have a smaller place so people i.e. adult children, won't ask to stay with us. It's too much of an imposition to live that way.
What kind of people expect to
What kind of people expect to spend 2 months living with someone else without paying for anything? That's insane.
Stop letting these skids walk all over you. Let them know there is a time limit for staying at your house (4 days?) and if they plan to stay longer, they will need to find accommodations of their own, and send them a list.
If your DH doesn't like it, too bad. My parents would have tossed me out on my ear if I tried to stay with them for 7 weeks without paying a dime.