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Advice needed- bought SS a cell phone

MEL1297's picture

Submitted by MEL1297 on Sun, 01/18/2015 - 2:06pm

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So we bought SS 12 a cell phone and put him on our plan. Besides being able to have it for emergencies, talk to his friends, DH wanted to be able to communicate with him without having to go through bipolar BM.

SS had the phone for a few weeks and doesn't answer Dh calls or texts. Says he doesn't get the notification, or doesn't have his phone on him (yet blows thru our data plan, so that's a lie- we do shut off his data when it's over used) The few times he does answer DH's texts, all one word "ok" "yeah" stuff like that. Could be typical pre teen behavior but DH reviewed SS texts to Bm while at our house, and he answers happily, in sentences lol.

Not sure what's happening, no fight between DH and SS to our knowledge.

Just really frustrating and I feel bad for DH. Any advice?

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Sun, 01/18/2015 - 2:11pm

It's possible BM takes the phone. Plenty folks here a similar policy. Cells phones tend to cause problems between the two homes. To avoid those issues, some kids have to hand over their phones when they enter mom oe dad's home.

MEL1297's picture

Submitted by MEL1297 on Sun, 01/18/2015 - 2:34pm

This is what we're thinking. Could be he doesn't get notifications because they are being opened by BM, so therefore ignored.

zipper10's picture

Submitted by zipper10 on Tue, 01/20/2015 - 7:13am

Same here. BM refuses to let SS communicate with DH while at her house. She even blocks DH phone number from her phone so there is no way of getting a hold of SS.

MEL1297's picture

Submitted by MEL1297 on Mon, 01/19/2015 - 2:50pm

I wouldn't put it past her to do something like this. It's outrageous how much data is used, already a week into the billing cycle and he used OVER half. So, data has been shut off permanently! The phone will be too if he doesn't want to communicate!!

JustAgirl42's picture

Submitted by JustAgirl42 on Sun, 01/18/2015 - 3:48pm

Same thing here. FDH got SD a phone so that they could text on the times that BM doesn't have SD call him, even though they are court ordered calls.

Well, he'll get one to two words once in a while, but she'll text her mom much more. It's because SD knows that her mom doesn't like her talking to her dad, but dad encourages SD to talk to her mom. FDH doesn't play the PAS game.

I agree with others, I would deactivate the phone.

intrinsicmemory's picture

Submitted by intrinsicmemory on Sun, 01/18/2015 - 5:22pm

This is my situation exactly.

I pay the bill, and I'm so tempted to shut off service to the phone every time DH complains that SD hasn't contacted him at all or when he asks me to see what activity she's had on it. If he is going to be so butt hurt about SD not contacting him when she's texting with BM constantly, why continue paying for something SD so OBVIOUSLY abuses when it was provided to her as a means for him to keep in touch with her since BM's live-in sex toy refuses to pick up the phone when DH calls, and actually erases voice mails left on the home answering machine so SD doesn't hear/know DH called.