Dishonest Step-Daughter
After almost a week of feeling betrayed and heartbroken I ran across this site (Thank Goodness). Anyways, almost four years ago I got married to the love of my life and we instantly had a son (which is now two); however, my husband has a daughter (whom is 10 now) from his previous marriage. Since my sons birth my in laws have treated my son with much distance as time went on it has gotten worse. On my sons second birthday only my mother in law showed up. The remainder of my husbands family totally ignored my sons birthday well, Christmas was the same as well. Anyways, I had already started assuming that my SD was telling things that were untrue about what goes on in OUR home (she does not live with us). Well, my brother in law and his girlfriend recently broken up (me and his girlfriend were best friends for over 20 years and for the last three years she would have nothing to do with me). Naturally after a ruff break up she came to me for support and being the kind of person I am I forgive her for the way they all treated my son like he was not part of the family. Finally, I decided to ask her what was her problem with me and of course it was lies that my SD was feeding my husbands family. After being at our house she would state that I would not allow her to eat at our house and now this is SO FUNNY but also heartbreaking, I would hide food under her pillow (I have no idea what that was suppose to accomplish). She also told my husbands family that I was very mean to her and NEVER bought her anything (which I know that I do not have to buy for her but, I do buy for her). She told everyone that she did not get much stuff for Christmas at our house and it was my fault because I would not allow her to have a thing. Well, the truth was I DID BUY FOR HER A ENTIRE WORDROBE. All expensive namebrand clothing. I really can not sit her and type everything she has said but, the more I think about it I feel so hurt. Now, here is the twist....on Sunday my husbands father and brother came to pick up my brother in laws daughter (she stays at our house alot on weekends - she is also two) and I had already conforted my SD about the lies and had her tell my FIL and BIL the truth. Well, the wonderful father in law made me feel like I was making the SD lie and put words in her month then yelled at me and really made me feel belittled. All I wanted to know was why my son was treated as a outcast. We can be around my husbands family and if my little boy talks to them they generally ignore him. Now in defense to my husband he is a wonderful man and love me and my son and does stand up for us against his wonderful father. THe problem is I do not really even trust carring on a conversation with my SD or even being alone. She has made up so many unrepairable lies about me. What should I do? I love my husband and do not want to keep fussing about his family but, I am so angry with him at the same time. I have told him for years now what his daughter was doing. He is the type to give the benefit of the doubt. THe truth is I am hurt by her but, I know that I will never trust her at the same time. Gosh, the lies that she stated made me sound like I was a psycho - I mean food under the pillow. I am so tired of my son hurting for attention from his daddys family. I feel awful for continuing to complain to my husband.
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That is what we did on
That is what we did on Sunday. She admitted to some things that she had said (everything was not even brought up) and the father in law still said that I was putting words in her mouth. My husband and his father had words then my FIL said he would work on how he treated my son, we have not heard a thing since Sunday from him. I know I should not but I go through spells of being distant towards my husband. I feel so sorry for my son, he has everything except love from my husbands family. About you being the worlds most evil stepmom now, that all the truth has come out I feel as if I am.
i
would be distant too. dh is supposed to protect his child. To me this treat ment by the il's is horrible and if fh did this to me i would feel distant as well, like its me and my child out on our own
i agree with vick
this really is a matter that dh needs to straighten up. He needs to tell sd what she is doing is wrong and hold her accountable. Also, why has dh allowed them to treat bs this way? If il's treated my child this way they would not see us until they acted right. mil treated me bad, and attacked me, now fh no longer talks to his mom at all.
I agree
I believe that in the beginning he did not want to believe that she was doing as I speculated. My husband always said that his family would one day regret when our son was older. I have always felt and still do feel that I do not want them around me and my son. Treating me like a outcast really does not bother me but, when it is my child that is treated like that it really angers me. Now, my husband has not spoken to his dad and even agreed that I will not and our son will not be around his father. Now about his brother, I did agree to be around him all because I keep his child on the weekends (my son and her are 4 months apart and LOVE eachother) while he parties. To me you would think instead of the in laws discussing me at the dinner table they would discuss their own ways. LOL.
I plan on doing so...
About the things that I have bought her, I will allow her to keep but, all the things that I have bought her and put up for her upcoming birthday are already in a pile to get rid of. She stated to my in laws that I only bought her cheap clothes and it was a lie (only abercrombie and Hollister...what a idot I am). So, I will allow her daddy to buy her birthday so on.....she can then see just how much my husband buys...lol. Also, about the food under the pillow....I would and even catch myself thinking about doing so.
last night
my ss4 was standing in the kitchen with me and said out of no where, smnikki, i love you! i was shocked because he had just been with my mil and bm who constantly say horrible things about me, and recently he has been difficult. Also, although ss4 did not say thank you for the bday party i put together for him until fh made him, i realize that he was talking about how much he loved the cake i got him to bm, because she called to ask where i got it.
to my point, i once said i was going to stop doing stuff for ss until he treated me better, but my fh stated that wasnt possible because doing stuff for others is just who i am. Well he was right and in my case its paying off because even when ss doesnt say anything, he does appreciate it, and he will remember later.
Because of my situation i would say continue to be the good person you are, true colors always shine through in the end. BUT, in your case are these things coming from bm? or does sd want her dad back with bm?
The truth is I am beginning
The truth is I am beginning to wonder if she does want her dad back home with her and bm; however, my husband was drinking and never stayed at home with them unless he was I guess drunk. See my husband and I are high school sweethearts and after many and many years apart found our way back to eachother. I am sure she does resent me for her father not being at home but, my husband is obviously happy. I am a stay at home mom and have it made (he made her mom work), he stays at home all the time and we do everything together as a family and most of all he no longer drinks since being with me. See I was previously married and had a stepdaughter whom we were like mother and child (her mom passed away). I know that I am not a bad person. All I do is take care of my child (raise him to the best of my abilities) and be a loving wife (probley until now-I am a pain to be around). When I say I am a full time stay at home mom I mean I have never been without my son. I do love children and have thought about having another child but, I feel bad enough that my child is rejected by il's and would not want to have to put another child through that. Lately, I have been so mad at my husband for the way his family is but, I also, relize that he really has nothing to do with his family unless at holidays.
Wow...I do feel better since
Wow...I do feel better since I found this website and realized that I am not the only person in this world that goes through this type of situation.