Let me give you the cliff notes of my weekend. Friday was the only day in a long time FH and I could have any adults-only time. We went to dinner, had a couple drinks, and a beautiful evening. We talked...well he talked alot, about things that he needed to vent about and just give us a state-of-the-relationship thing. It was a great night.
Saturday we were having his dad over for dinner. He's been around alot more than ever in FH's life. Part of that was because his wife just died a few weeks ago. And I also learned it was because him and his wife hated the BM...apparently FH's mom hated her with a passion from day one...that's why they never came around--something FH mentiones ad nauseum...how they never came over. Anyhoo, I heard alot from my soon to be FIL and he's fully supportive of me and how good I am for FH and the boys. He also knew that BM has been treating me like sh*t from day one. He was angry that she is such a wench to me when I'm doing her job. Long story short, FIL was glad that FH and the skids have me. He wants me to have some of his wife's jewelery and things--that meant alot.
Anyways, that all was Saturday afternoon and evening. Earlier in the day, I was out cleaning the patio furniture and cleaning the grill (part of my LoveDare)when I look up on the hill behind our house and lo and behold, who do I see??? That's right, crazyBM. Our house backs up to the 50 acre lot that is attached to the grade school. So there was BM with "the dog" from my earlier posts...that one that was supposed to be living somewhere out in the country. Apparently, the dog lives somewhere around the block and, here's the best part, BM comes over and walks her. So apparently who ever is kenneling the dog--friend,family, new owner--that all is irrelevant, because BM is going to do the walking. Apparently, she'd called the boys to come over to the hill to see the dog...you know, the one they never took care of in any way and didn't care that she left. But BM had to make a big production of having the dog there for them to see. Uggg!
So, of course BM saw me out doing the patio and getting ready for our dinner, but she didn't say a word or come over or act like I even existed. Whatever... She's so frikkin nuts its not even funny. So FH comes home from running errands and I am at the door all on him like,"You're sure we're moving right? You're not tricking me? You really want to move and we're going to right?!" And he's all like, "uh, yeah..." He was confused, so I told him about BM and the dog deal, and he's like, "why can't you just get over it?!" I wanted to just beat him to death...seriously, how could he not understand why I'm miserable?! I live in a house she lived in and bought w/him 13 years ago. Her frikkin name is still on our mortgage(although he is the deeded owner). Her damn mail still comes here. I have to raise her kids and deal with her lack of parenting. Not to mention being snubbed by her every chance she gets. And now I'm supposed to be ok with her taking dogwalks in the school yard behind my house and stand there staring at our home like a frikkin stalker?! Is it me??? Seriously, you can tell me if I'm overreacting or just crazy. If I am crazy I'll gladly go to the nuthouse for a while to get away from these people! But seriously, is this all not completely deranged??!!!
So anyways, Sunday comes and we go looking at houses, yadda yadda yadda. Sunday afternoon, FH starts getting moodier and moodier because the kids aren't where they're supposed to be, there's multiple bikes on the lawn, yadda yadda yadda. Then dinner comes and he's mad because ss13 isn't home, so he locks him out. But then he shows up, so FH lets him in. But he's still grilling the chix, so ss13 goes to take a shower. FH brings in the chix and is p*ssed cuz ss isn't out of the shower. He shows up like literally 30 seconds later, but FH is mad. Then he's completely out of his mind because I made his mother's potato salad from the recipe his dad gave me yesterday, and the boys wouldn't try any. FH was mad because I spent like 2 hours making it and he was seriously mad at them. So dinner was incredibly tense and I wound up fighting with FH because he was so mean to the boys. I was like, you've allowed the behaviors to go on for years, so now you can't just say "no more"...you have to ease them into it, and you don't do that by being a mean crazy psycho! So FH went on and on about how he's gonna do what he wants to do whenever he wants to do it...I said that's not a marriage and I want out if that's how it's gonna be. And he said...you'll love this....he goes into this big speech about how he's gonna leave, and I can keep the house and the kids and he'll pay me child support!!! (OK, seriously, where is that jaw drop icon?lol :jawdrop:) I was so stunned I was like, are you serious?! These aren't even my kids!!!! YOU made them, not me!!! I missed the first 13 years of their lives, so if they're not all you want them to be you only have you and BM to blame!!!! How can you put this all on me when I've only just come into this situation?! You're literally going to give me your kids and pay child support???? Are you nuts???!!!
I said,"Are you having a flashback to BM times, because here's some info...I'm LT, not BM!!! These are not my kids!!!!"
So I decided to go away for a while and FH went off to rent a movie. The sad part was that although his kids didn't hear us fighting, before I left, the oldest wanted to come with me and chill in the park too. I normally go to the park to cry when FH upsets me and I don't want the kids to see. SS14 was feeling bad too I guess and thought he would go and chill out there with me...but I said, why don't you go down to boynextdoor's house and chill there for a while. I didn't want him to see me cry either.
I am just so tired of this crap. FH is nuts...the BM is definitely a raging psycho. And here I am stuck in the middle, raising someone else's kids...and all I get is crap from everyone. FH is an ass to me, BM is an absolute byotch, and then their "mutual friends" love to take jabs at me and be snotty arrogant rich bitches... Is it any wonder I'm exhausted and ready to call it quits? I feel bad for the skids because it's not their fault their parents are psycho. But I'm not sure how much longer I can do this.
One thing is absolutely certain...if FH starts golfing like he said, and doesn't come home for dinner, and starts "putting himself first ahead of everyone" I am absolutely leaving. I'm still trying right now, but if that's how it's gonna be, I'm definitely outta here.
Thanks for listening.
Hugs, LT