To make a long story short, after fighting for custody and winning, bm decided to give us custody of ss after he started telling his teacher all the things that go on at her house and also if we agreed to NO CS. When dh went to court with her to file the paperwork and get the custody changed on paper, the judge told her that she could change her mind at anytime and come and get him back. So after a year of her seeing him for 4 hours a week, because thats what she says her schedule allows, she picks him up from school the other day for her visit with him, after bailing on him the previous two weeks, and brings him to the store and buys him new sneakers, a watch, and a diecast racecar that he wanted. My dh and I were so mad. ( I'm venting so bear with me) She thinks by buying him a couple of things like that makes her a good mother. She isn't the one who makes sure he goes to the doctor. She isn't the one who volunteers at school. She is like a aunt that pops up in his life when she wants some recognition for popping him out.

How do any of you deal with it? I don't know how to deal with giving your all to a child and being the mother he deserves. He calls me mom, which was his choice, I do all the mom things and have that place is his life, but it kills you inside when she can do something like that and they get excited like bm really gives a hoot about them. She couldn't buy him shoes that fit him when she was getting cs from dh, but now that she isn't, and when she feels like buying him things she can get him whatever he wants and acts like she saved the day, because he needed new sneakers. (He won't wear his good sneakers to her house on visits because they come back messy and torn from the animals in her house). My dh and I wanted to buy that racecar for him but unfortunately, we couldn't afford it right now because we had to pay for ss baseball, and soccer season, but she gets the glory of buying him the things he wants. It drives me nuts!!! How do you all deal?