I can understand why you can't seem to sign them. It is because you have put so much effort in to this relationship and you were optimistic that things would turn around - and no it is not fair you sound like a very good woman and you didn't deserve this. The minute he put his hands on you like that should be the finally straw for you. How humilating for him to do this in front of your family and I am so sorry that you had to go through that. You will be better off in the long run and I know it hurts know but it WILL GET BETTER - it just takes time. What was your families reaction to what he did to you? Your mom is awesome by the way!

I have MET you. You are exceptional. Beautiful. Stunning in fact. You are so Kind. Generous. A joy to be around.

This man does not deserve you. He laid a hand on you. IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. Who knows what he is capable of if no one is around.

We love you. We need to know you are safe and healthy.

You are not a failure. This relationship was a success, because it taught you that you have a ton to give, AND that you now need to do what's best for you until one day a man comes along, A MAN I said, who can recognize what a gift you are in his life and will do everything in his power to show you how much he loves and appreciates you.

Damn it! We need another trip NOW.

Who's up for Louisville????

"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra

Booze does not bring out the best in DH! I feel terrible for you, but he cannot treat you like that drinking or not.

It is hard to sign the papers-you are not a failure! My best girlfriend was married three times-when her last marriage broke down I felt so bad for her-but the break-up taught her that (in her case, she saw her patterns and choices for what they were) marriage of any type was not for her. This break-up will have a wonderful lesson for you, once the hurt has healed.

Take care!

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!

i cant imagine what youre going thru and how u feel. i wish i could give u a big hug. ive never met u, but ive heard about u (all wonderful, of course!) and ive seen pics and u ARE gorgeous--inside and out. and u deserve better.

u will get the strength to sign when u are ready. please take care of urself and ur girls.

big big hugs...

we are here and we love u.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

I cant believe he grabbed you by the hair, and pushed your face in the table!!? ,,what nerve? How dare him hurt you...Im glad your mother jumped in.I just wished she kicked him in the nuts.....Where was your brother?

I know its hard, but just sign the papers and move on. This man has no hesitation of physically and emotionally hurting you. If he loved you, and wanted to make it work, this would of been the last thing he would of done...drinking or not...

Everyone falls in love, but that does not make him the right person. Its time to think about yourself, dont worry about your past, we all make mistakes, no one is looking or judging.

Its time to put yourself first,, and if ever puts a hand on you again, he better sleep with one eye open..
take carre

I know it sounds cliche but you only fail if you don't learn from your mistakes. This man failed you, and your commitment you tried, he let you down, you tried, he let you down even more.

I would be infuriated by the sheer fact that my man got that wasted in front of my family, let alone the resulting behavior. He knows he did wrong, obviously, by visiting your family and apologizing. Maybe he's signing the papers so willingly b/c he knows the gravity of his mess up, and is accepting responsibility, and admitting you deserve better. Take it and run before he goes the other way.

I just went back and read some of your other posts, and I'm sorry to see that this has been a long while in brewing. Seems like many women here know you and love you, and though I personally have not had the pleasure, believe in their concern and affection, you deserve a man who holds you in equally high esteem, don't ever settle for less...

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein

Could it be that you don't want to admit the obvious. That this is your third marriage and it is ending. Maybe not being able to sign the papers is your way of holding out hope for this marriage. I don't know the answer. But what I do know is High-Five to your mom for punching him. He had no business putting his hands on you and humiliating YOU in front of your family. It was a freaking game for heaven's sake. However, in my book regardless of what the circumstances were he had no business grabbing you as he did.

That frightens me more than anything. Has he done this before? If he allowed himself to get to this point, will it ever happen again? I will tell you as I told my BFF when she was divorcing. Sit down and write out the positives and negatives of this relationship/marriage. I am willing to bet that when you look at it all on paper you will know your decision and do that which is necessary for you.

As far as being a failure, I think you need to look at it from a different view. You can't fail on someone else's part, test, game, etc. Meaning you did YOUR part, but DH neglected to do his. He FAILED to support you in this marriage. He FAILED to work with you financially. He FAILED to co-parent with you... No matter how much we try or may want to do, the reality is sometimes we have to admit that we can't do it all. And you my friend can't be a MAN for him. Plain and simple.

Hugs to you and I hope that you get the courage and strength to do what is necessary for YOU!!!

Step Mother's Motto this week is:

You don't have to LOVE me, you don't even have to LIKE me... But you will RESPECT me.

My favorite Southern Belle.

Don't be embarassed, be pratical. Why stay in this ridiculous marriage where it's all give on your part and all take on his...isn't THAT more embarassing? You deserve better. And hell, it's 2009 - who HASN'T been married 3 or 4 times?

You are so beautiful, inside and out.

Sign the papers, Sunshine. It's time to let it go.

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

And give him my biggest bitch slap?? Cause I will do it. My door is always open to you. I'm just a few hours away if you need a quick get out! This isn't the first time he has physically hurt you...I'm more like you..the first time was it he was sorry and you forgave him that time....not anymore!!!!

He was lucky you fell in love with him, now he is a dubass for letting you get away. You have been toying with seperation from him for a year now..you have gone up and over your part. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

Call me.

Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!

had 4 husbands. The first beat her, so she dumped his ass, the second was my grandfather & after 20 some years of marriage he died leaving her in her 40's with my dad at age 5. She married 2 more times because she was afraid to be alone & wanted a father for my dad. By the time my dad was 17 she was done with husbands. She had boyfriends but none of them ever lived with her after that. My grandma even had a boyfriend when she passed at 93 years old.

I gotta tell you she never let it bother her that 3 of those marriages never worked out, she just lived her life & enjoyed it.

Sign the papers & start living your life & being happy.

Hey my grandpa's sister was married 13 times ( my grandpa would be 120 years old if alive today so this was a long time ago) You can feel bad only if you can beat my great aunt.

I am sending you positive thoughts.

You are in an abusive relationship. Think of your daughter. Do you want her to grow up thinking its okay for a man to hit her?

You didn't fail. You learned.

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

to. And whether it's your first divorce, or your 8th divorce, the number really doesn't matter...life is just too short to spend in uncertainy, in misery. You tried. You gave it your best shot. But the only one you have control of is yourself, and you've been fighting a losing battle.

The incident at the poker table should have indeed been the last straw. When someone choses to use physical power to intimidate and humilate their spouse, there is nothing left to be said.

My mother's favorite saying-"better days are ahead" definately applies to your situation. (((hugs)))

It takes two to make a marriage work, you can't do it all yourself. Don't feel bad of having any number of divorces, I am sure you are learning each time more of what you don't want. Just because marriage hasn't worked so far, doesn't mean it never will!!! keep the faith, ya know?! Hugs honey, this is better really

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

I've been thinking of you often...

Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!

Stay in touch and let us know how you are doing. You've got friends here if you need anything.

IT IS YOUR GOD GIVEN RIGHT TO BE HAPPY!!!!!!!!

I love you sweetheart. You and I have so much more in common than I think either one of us has ever realized. The only reasons I dont leave are Savannah (she loves him so much) and the fact that this too is my 3rd. Plus I dont think i could afford being by myself. I truly love you dear.