Hb has my back
Yesterday, SS12 and I got into an argument. He got angry and bowed up to me fists raised. He was going to punch me. So I pushed his little punk ass into the bath tub, he fell and started crying. I said "don't you ever raise your hand to me or you will regret it." I told DH about it and he says I did the right thing by asserting myself. What do you guys think?
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Hell yeah.
Don't ever let your SK's raise thier hands to you. My BS is 13 and if he bowed up to me with fists raised I'd do exactaly the same. Same thing applies to SD. You did the right thing. Others may not agree, but hey, if they has the brass balls to hit you, you better have big enough ones to let them know it's not going to happen again.
Good for you.
What worries me.....
is the fact that some 12-year-old boys are larger and stronger than you.... so then what? My 11-year-old son is not larger or stronger than me but I'd bet the farm he'd put up one hell of a fight.
If this child is stepping up to you now, what are you going to do when hes 17 and much bigger and stronger than you? You won't be able to push him down, then what? Thats what I'd be worried about.
Oh, and I don't think you were wrong either.... if my son stepped to me my DH would have that kid's ass!
That's easy Conflicted
Conflicted, this has the simplest solution to me. If EVER a child got bold enough to HIT me at the age of 17, my solution is this...They have got to get to stepping and get the HELL up out of my house. DCF and no one else can tell me that I have to take that kind of abuse from a (wo)man/child. I wouldn't stand for it if DH did it and I sure as hell wouldn't stand for a child doing it. That goes for Bio or Step.
Step Mother's Motto this week is:
You don't have to LOVE me, you don't even have to LIKE me... But you will RESPECT me.
Yeah my DH asked the same thing......
Did your DH say anything to SS about what he did? Sounds like he supported your decision and discipline but did he do anything to SS about this? My DH is very concerned with this point. Please tell me he beat his butt.
DH says
he will handle things on his end. The problem is he works nights and doesn't see the kids until the weekend.
You most definately did the right thing
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
Hope this defiant acting out is nipped in the bud! Have there been any other instances where he tried to get physical with you?
What in the world is that kid thinking?
Well Done!
Hell yes, you did the right thing. I would have done the same thing.
Don't these kids know about respecting people especially there elders.
ummm no.....
i have one ss12 who i love dearly and has lived in my house for 6 years casue bm was stupid adn lost him and his brothers.......if my children ever bow up at me they better tuck their tails and run cause buddy you gonna get it.....you did the right thing......my ss knows not to even give me smarta** smerks or he will get his face smacked even my birth children they are young 3 and 4 but they know how to respect their elders......you go girl many props for you!!!!
i think u did the rite thing
i however, wouldnt be able to bc BM has already once *falsely* accused me of abuse, which was just manufactured out of nowhere SO if i ever pushed her angel she would have CPS to my house in a hot minute.
glad ur hubby supports u!
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
Bella
Bella, if BM feels that she can call CPS on you for putting an aggressive child in check. Then by all means let her feel free to keep 'em and not inconvenience you. No where does it mean that we are to take abuse and disrespect from the kids.
I have a girlfriend that works for CPS and here the law is that you CAN discipline your child. You can not abuse them, leave marks and welts on them, but you can discipline them. Even more so they have guidelines which are a little different than dealing with your average kid and that is what they call "ungovernable kids/teens." Although they are there to protect the children, they do realize that some kids are difficult and sometimes you DO have problems outside of "normal" with particular kids. It may be because of the way they were raised while with BM or whatever, but there is something on the books here about that.
Step Mother's Motto this week is:
You don't have to LOVE me, you don't even have to LIKE me... But you will RESPECT me.
oh i know
she manufactured this when SD was 2 years old...she said i was emotionally and physically abusing her and that she had marks from me, which was a lie. funny how she never took pics or had "proof"...i used to put SD in time out if i was watching her and correct her behavior. now i dont discipline SD anymore, in fact, im not around much when she is. my point is, if she made something like that up, if the situation ever cam eto that down the line, BM would surely make it into something else and would most likely be able to coerce SD into going along w her evil plan.
i dont think ANY parent, bio or step, deserves to be abused by a child. the reality is though that some of us would probably not stand up to a kid like this only bc it may not be worth what BM may put us thru.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
Your DH's reaction
Yes, you definitely did the right thing. No child should EVER put their hands up to an adult to threaten them. And you certainly put him in his place, both literally and figuratively speaking!
However, I'm more concerned with your DHs reaction. While he said he "supported you" in words, what else did he do about the situation? Because I would hope that if his little punk son threatened his WIFE, he would grab him by the scruff of the neck, walk him up to you, and make him apologize to you, at the very least.
Did he? Did he get punished in ANY way?
This kind of behavior cannot go unchecked by his father. If it does, he is possibly sending out a message that it is ok to treat women like this- and that's not cool for a young, growing boy to see.
Also, as the other ladies pointed out, at 12-yrs-old, he may be smaller than you, but that's going to change soon. My 15-yr-old son is over 6'2". (He's even taller than my DH). That situation could get potentially dangerous if left unchecked.
I once had to tell him when he was getting "mouthy" to me, "You may be much bigger than me, boy, but I am still your mother and you will treat me with respect. I may not be able to kick your butt, I can certainly afford to pay someone to do it for me!"
He doesn't speak to me disrespectfully these days.
"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis
You did the right thing!
My SD tried to hit me ONCE and only ONCE...after that, no more!
You did the right thing. I
You did the right thing. I have told dh, the skids better never raise a hand to me or hit me.. as it will be over. I have never so much as raised a hand to them, and I expect the same in return.
My ss has slapped my BIL across the face (the BIL is married to MY sister).. He was very reserved and placed ss away from him and moved away. AGAIN, ss is LUCKY it wasnt me he slapped.
Not sure if my dh would have my back. that is a good question!