I deal with a confrontational Ex wife. Please help...
I am so happy that I found this site. I really need advice on how toi deal wih my husband's ex wife that wants to physically assault me... I guess i should start by telling you a little about my situation. My husband and I have been married for 8 years and together for 11. When I met him he was separated and living in his own apartment. He was previously married with two boys. They divorced and so began our relationship. At the time his boys were 3 and 7 and my son was 2.
My very first encounter with the Ex was on a wednesday evening after dinner.(My husband has joint custody and gets the boys every other weekend and wednesday evenings for dinner). Well, he was 3 minutes late returning them and upon our arrival she was standing outside pacing and approached the car very angry. She started cursing him out for being late, right in front of the children! I was very shocked, so I suggested that they discuss the situation another time or at least somewhere where the kids could not here the cursing and she came towards me and tried to grab me. From then it has been a struggle...It has been 11 years and just the mere sight of me makes her wnat to hit me. My step sons are now 18 and 14 and they have to grab her and push her in corneres to keep her away from me. This was just last week!! Please help. I think she may have a Paranoid Personality disorder! Not to mention she does these thing sin front of our younger sons who are 3&6.
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Nikki - I would press
Nikki - I would press charges and have her a** thrown in jail for assault. That will teach her that you mean business!!
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin
this might be petty, but
this might be petty, but honestly, in my situation it'd be worth it to take a punch from BM to have her a** thrown in jail for assault, and get a restraining order on her. Even if she managed to give me a bloody nose (doubtful, the troll doesn't even stand as high as my shoulder) I'd smile through the blood while I called the cops.
I have dealt with my dh ex
I have dealt with my dh ex for almost 4 years now and I would let her hit you too, and like other have said file charges against her!!! My situation, she has threaten to hit me but never did, she just tries to destroy my life by making false accusations of abuse. I know she says bad things about me to my ss(7) but not my sd's(11 & 9). It is making things very tough for me and my dh because when my ss comes he makes it very clear he does not want to be a part of our household. I have a pretty good relationship with my sd's but my ss drives me crazy. I know that he will do what his bm wants him to do at any price. She has even gotten to my pil and now my fil wants me to leave my dh because he doesn't think i love his grandkids. What does he think I enjoy the heartache and i stick around for the hell of it?
Don't let bm think she can treat you that way, it will only keep getting worse, for you and your skids. Good luck.
I want to live, laugh and love again.
Why I have dealt with it
I have dealt with this only because my husband and I have had 2 boys together and he is an exceptional father. The BM only acts out in public places when my ss's are there to calm here. Just by simply saying Hi to here she flips and tells me not to say anything to her. (Not is those words of course). I have pressed charges before and because of her income she qualifies for a court appointed attorney, the attorney switched the court date and no one informed us (my husband and I) She tells my ss's that I tried to have her arrested in front of them.My husband defends me whenever he is there. She doesn't care about making scenes and I am not going to fight in feront of my kids. I really believe she is sick.
dont let her crazy behavior bother u
ive got a nutcase too...she cant look at me w/o throwing insults, causing a white trash jerry springer scene on my front porch, and she has done the false abuse accusations too. how to handle? i have NO contact w her. my FH cant even stand to look at her or deal w her so why should i? and shes not allowed on our property, not even for exchanges.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
I have been assaulted by the
I have been assaulted by the ex wife. That as 2.5 yrs ago.. Since then, I do NOT get out of the car if she is present, and I do not go near her. This woman is psycho like Sybil, one minute could be a normal conversation, next completely irrational.
When I was assaulted, this was in front of the skids at age 7, and her daughter w/her new hubby that was I think 2ish.
Again, I do not put myself in a situation to be possibly assaulted again, that said.. I told my dh to let her know that next time, I would call the cops and have her thrown in jail.. I wouldnt care if her children were present or not.
I haven't been physically assaulted......
but if it meant getting her a@@ thrown in jail, I think I would let her hit me. But, you may be able to file charges for terroristic threatening, she is threatening bodily harm or injury to you. I am a paralegal in Kentucky, but I don't know about the laws are where you live. If she does hit you, make sure you talk to any possible witness' and file a report immediately. Just don't egg her on, let her do it on her own. The crazy BM in our situation tells my SS's that I killed their dog, that I am the reason they aren't together, thing like, they can't go on vacation or buy this or that because "your dad won't pay his child support", (he did fall behind, but she just got $9,000.00 from taxes) It amazes me that these women don't realize what they are putting their children through and that one day the kids will see them for the crazies that they are.
Making the decision to have a child is momentous~ It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside of your body~
The witnesses were, my dh
The witnesses were, my dh (afraid of bm w/holding skids), her dh (afraid of her, yet is a lawyer) and skids. I dont think ANY of those witnesses would have backed me up.. though the bruises on my arm told the story.
I did not do anything back, I waited til she calmed down (which was not much) then asked her to take her hands off of me.. and that next time I would defend myself, and to consider herself lucky. I have in my past been in girl fights (not proud of it.. just a fact) and can defend myself. What she did, had the skids not been present, would have been an invitation to kick her @ss.. but.. being the adult.. I refrained, and let her off w/a warning. I should have called the cops. I know I should have... and if it ever happens again, I will be.
We were in RI at the time of the assault, so not sure what the laws are there.. but.. want to hear something funny?!?!?!? she is a paralegal by education and training.. though, she hasnt utilized that skill in almost 5 yrs. Guess she will know this is me for sure now.. but I really dont give a rat's @ss anymore!!!
the screaming, the cursing..
the things ive heard being said in front of BF's son is shocking, how horrible of an example to set for children. BF's son gets stuck in the middle, while BM calls BF all kinds of horrible things, curses, screams.. wow, im sure kids REALLY need to hear all that, its damaging.
I used to want BM to come after me, shes a druggie so all she needs is an assault on her record to make herself look even better than she already does. also, it would give me a chance to 'defend myself' and beat her ass to a pulp!!
Are you serious?
There is no way I would allow someone to have that type of controll over where I go and who I am with. Get the order of protection and then if she is even 100 feet from you you could have her tail thrown in jail!