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Nikkii's picture

I really need advice on this subjsect....

First, i should start by saying that we were granted custody of SS and he has been with us since May. My DH told me that he spoke with SS and "they" decided not to take BM up for child support because she can not afford to pay it. I totally disagree with thid decision and the way the decision was made. A child should not be involved in the financial decisions of two adults especially when that decision affects me and I was left out of it. Who is responsible for the extra expenses that our household will endure? Let's not dismiss the fact that I have worked a part time job for 10 years until recently to cover the household expenses. i refuse to get anothet one and BM has never worked one.

I really feel disregarded and take advantaged of especially since all BM has ever brought up is how much she hates me and how DH needs to pay more support! Not to mention her past episodes of threats of violence towards me over the past 12 years.

Please

Comments

Amazed's picture

You should have been included in the decision. You are an adult contributing to the household expenses that now include SS expenses so YOU should have been the one consulted on this decision...NOT ss and definitely NOT bm. EVERY parent who doesn't have their child at least 50% of the time should be held liable for child support and I don't think children should even be spoken to about child support UNLESS it becomes an issue of PAS and they're being told "mommy" or "daddy" doesn't take care of them...then by all means speak to them about cs but until then...it's none of their business. But it is your business, shame on DH for not including you. I'd be livid.

Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others. ~Buddha

Kb3Hooah's picture

Well if DH doesn't want to accept CS from BM b/c her lazy arse isn't working, then I would be looking at DH with your hand held out for him to pay YOU Child support from HIS pocket.

How do you guys handle your household finances? Do you share a joint account or handle finances seperately?

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“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”

Nikkii's picture

Since DH just started working again we are revisiting the finances. He was laid of for 5 months. We also have 3 younger children in the household.

alwaysme's picture

isn't that typical, now if the role was reversed BM would be demanding money whether DH could afford it or not, why should it be different for her, her kid her expenses. I would be furious that DH just went ahead and decided that without your knowledge, does he just expect you to be the free nanny?

He took custody of that child knowing full well you would be playing the role of mother but not the "real mother" you are sacrificing your life and your expenses for his child....AAArgh i am angry for you. If i were you i would just stop doing everything, let him do it. Go on strike!!!! He wants the kid he can look after it. Well that is exactly what i would do! If you have no say then his life is not your responsibility simple as that.