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Poor BF

Nymh's picture

BF got an email from BM asking him to call her and speak to SS. Well, how is he supposed to call when she doesn't have a phone? So he called BM's parents' house and asked if she was around. BM's mother said no...which started into a 20 minute conversation on BM's mother's opinion on how BF shouldn't "take SS from BM". She kept saying that SS has always been taken care of. Yes, maybe by them, but not by BM. He thanked her for helping take care of SS but explained that it's not their job to provide for SS, it's BM's, and if she can't do that, then it's BF's job to make up for it, not theirs. BF explained to her what's really going on. He explained to her that BM is lying to them about him being a deadbeat and that he's given her thousands of dollars this year alone. He said that all BM has to do is get a job and allow someone to inspect her home for cleanliness and he'll drop everything. Well, that isn't good enough. For some reason, BM and her family believe that BF is just doing this to hurt BM. He kept trying to explain that he's only trying to take care of his son as his father since his mother was incapable of doing so on her own right now without a job. Still, she continued to gripe at him. Then she tried to make him out like he never cared enough to take care of SS before, that he's "never been to his doctor's appointments" and that he had no idea about his medicine or his doctors. BF then quoted all of SS's doctors and explained that SS administers his own medicine, but even if he didn't it's not hard to read the instructions on the bottles. He explained to her that since the divorce, BM won't let BF take SS to any of his doctors. Well, then she started going off about how she doesn't believe in divorce and that if he "REALLY cared" about SS he would have stayed in the marriage. At that point, BF hung up on her.

*sigh* poor BF. I can tell that this conversation really upset him because he won't eat dinner. The first thing he asked for was a beer, and BF doesn't drink but maybe once a month. He's also immersed himself in an episode of South Park and finds it much funnier than usual. I feel so bad for him right now Sad

Comments

frustratedinMA's picture

Poor guy. All he wanted was to talk to his child. He shouldnt get the 10th degree from the former inlaws. They must know that she is a piece of crap and just let him be. Oh.. and be THRILLED that their grandchild has a parent that LOVES him.

People lately are just making me sick.

SerendipitySM's picture

Nymph - I am so sorry for the both of you. This behavior by his BM and her parents is inexusable. I would continue to document everything
and nail them to the wall in court. This poor little boy is being used as his mother's pawn and would be so much better off with you and your DH. Hang in there - I will pray for you!!

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

Nymh's picture

We just had him this past weekend so it'll be next weekend before we see him again.

I have thought about suggesting that BF go see SS at school during lunch or something to talk to him when his mother's not around?

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

northernsiren's picture

Can he go to BM's house? Is that an option? I'd be worried about school, since if SS got upset, it might be hard for him to go back to class.

if not BM's house, what about the grandparent's house?

If there is no option for face to face contact, then an email message needs to be drafted reasserting his love for SS, and that he is doing what he truly believes is in his son's best interests, but that this is not a conversation that is appropriate to have via email, and he will talk to with him face to face, the next time he sees him, end of discussion.

No more of this "supposed" BM in the middle of it, it's ridiculous.

Nymh's picture

It is an option. No matter what, if SS gets "upset" BM won't make him go to school the next day. This is the kid that misses an average of one day a week of school because, and these are BM's words, "he doesn't feel like going."

The thing I worry about is that if BM is around, she will hover over them and SS will feel like he has to say what BM wants him to say. He is one of those kids who feels like he'll get in trouble if he says something she disapproves of so he has a completely different story when his mother isn't around.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

Sia's picture

BF should just go over there and find out what the heck is going on! Poor BF....I feel for him. Dh's ex tried something similar a while back, and come to find out, it (of course) wasn't SD.....BIG SHOCK right?

Nymh's picture

He's 10.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

Colorado Girl's picture

None whatsoever...

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

bellacita's picture

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin