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Is it normal for a 6 year old to lie about being sick?

msg1986's picture

So this past weekend Ss6 was acting a little off. During dinner Friday night he suddenly stopped eating and annoucned that he was sick and couldn't eat anymore. Prior to dinner Ss was acting fine and even when he said he was sick he didn't seem sick. Dh thought Ss was lying so he gave him a smartie and asked him how he felt. Ss announced that he felt better and went to bed. Dh was a little thrown off but we thought whatever and left it at that.

Well, Saturday morning we got up and made breakfast- eggs and potatoes. Ss was fine all morning while we were cooking and even when we sat down to eat. However half way thru breakfast (he'd barely touched his food) he said he felt sick again. Dh told him no, that he needed to eat and he started crying saying he was sick and that he needed more "medicine". Dh looked at me with a "wtf" face. So Dh got some sugar water and gave it to Ss and said it was medicine. Ss drank the "medicine" and then smiled and said "I feel better now" and ate the rest of his food. Dh let him finish his food and then asked him why he was lying about being sick. Ss looked kinda freaked out and was like "...I'm not lying about being sick, I really am sick!" Dh then told Ss that he gave him candy both times he claimed to be sick so he knew he was lying. Ss started to cry and he and Dh talked a lot. Ss started talking about how when he's with his mom that if he's sick she spends time with him but if he's not sick she makes him stay in his room. He also talked a lot about how he's lonely at his moms because his mom is always sleeping and how he's STB stepdad is always at work. At one point he started to cry and said "I'm just so lonely at my mommys." It was really sad.

What do you guys think of this? Dd is only 1 so I don't really have experience with kids this age and how they act. I feel so sad for my Ss but I just don't know if this is normal behavior from a 6 year old or if I'm justing thinking way too much into it or if he's just learning to manipulate early-but why lie about being sick, ya know? It just seems/seemed weird. Have you guys ever seen this?

Another thing to add, Bm is ALWAYS at the doctors. Dh said when he was with her that they were always at the ER because Bm always thought something was wrong with her. Even now, Ss will talk about how he has to spend the night at his nana's because Bm had to the hospital.

Comments

ltman's picture

Kids imitate what they see, mommy gets sick, gets attention, Ss gets sick, gets attention. So why did he feel the need to play sick with dh?

msg1986's picture

Yeah, that makes sense.

I have no idea why'd he pretend to be sick at our house. Friday I noticed he said he was sick after he was trying to get our attention for something. dh were talking about something important so we told him he needed to wait and then he said he was sick. Saturday morning I noticed he said he was sick when both Dh and I were focusing on something Dd was doing.

msg1986's picture

He's actually in the process of taking Bm to court now. They served her the day before thanksgiving and so we have to wait the 30 days for to respond and from there, go to court. I'll mention that to Dh so he can see about adding it to the CO.

Yeah, it's really sad. He's not being abused but Dh believes that he is being neglected but he's not sure if the courts would even do anything about it because from what we understand, the courts only concern is that the child is clothed, fed and housed.

msg1986's picture

Yeah, dh def isn't holding it against him. He just talked with him and told him he cant lie about being sick. At Bms he doesn't have siblings and I guess he gets picked on my the neighborhood kids so he doesn't go out to play and at our house its just dd 12 mo's. At our home were very focused on the kids and so spend a lot of time with them however I've noticed he gets really down when we have to take time to do adult things like clean or cook because he isn't spending 1 on 1 time with either myself or dh. He seems like he yearns for attention Sad

BethAnne's picture

If it is for attention I would say to him, are you really sick or are you bored/lonely/want to play? etc... Help to teach him how to interpret his emotions and work out how to deal with those, weather if it is asking to do something with you, asking to help or asking for ideas for things to do.

SourGrapes's picture

My daughter is 7 and she has never pretended to be sick. Not that I think she wouldn't, but I don't think she's figured it out yet! Personally, I don't think its normal behavior for a 6 year old. I'd consider it a big red flag.

msg1986's picture

Yeah, it just seemed so strange to me. I really wonder if it has anything to do with his mom always being sick too?

stepinhell617's picture

I kind of wish the girls would pretend to get sick- in our house it means medical equipment, lots of doctors, hospitals, tons of pills, visiting nurses and lots of unpleasantness so they want nothing to do with it. At most they will pretend to have a cold and two seconds later the cold is better and that is when they are playing with a friend.
He is probably doing it for attention if that is how people at BM's get attention. People do what works.