Now I have read it all, and it explains a lot!!!
For awhile now, I occassionally go onto myspace and see if my dh's ex is on there, as well as her new dh. I havent had much luck.. UNTIL TODAY.. I hit pay dirt.
So.. I find the elusive ex.. and start to reading her blogs, thinking I can gain a better understanding of why she does and says the things she does and says. Well. I found it.. I found the reason I think she hates me so freakin much!
Little background... My dh, while married to the ex, cheated on her w/a close family friend of the BM's. BM then ended the relationship and seemed to move on. She was remarried on or around the time I met my dh and went on a date w/him. We are talking about 3 yrs after their marriage disolved.
Back to present. I was reading her blogs and came across a blog w/my and my dh's anniversary date.. In it she expresses sadness over the failed marriage and lays blame to her family friend and her distaste for her own family that wish for her to let it go. She states how her life was completely altered by this person's actions and the lasting effect it has had on her children and how it cant be undone.
So, next time she is being herself.. I can now realize that its because I have what she wants. I think she is pissed that I have been able to make it work w/DH despite her repeated attempts to undo and undermine me..
Getting ready to go into the visitation weekend.
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I think so too.
And I think that's why our BM hates me so much as well, from day one she did not like me...and then it got worse as time went on. She is so angry that we are happily married, and we have a baby, that makes us a family. She had him dangling on a string of divorce, that was wrapped around her little finger, and I came along with a big pair of scissors and cut him off. She has always stated that she "does not want him", but she does not want him to be happy with someone els either, she views their marriage as a failure, so god forbid we succeed!~ " I started out clean, now, I'm jaded"~ Rob Thomas, Matchbox 20
Chel, BM USED to be nice to
Chel,
BM USED to be nice to me.. I think that is before she realized that I was not running off.. She tried to get me to think of him as a dirt bag, etc. What I saw underneath the surface is someone that made an aggregious mistake and paid dearly for it. There were a lot of factors going on in their relationship that lead to his straying.. Not to be solely blamed on him. I have had my problems w/DH, when we were dating, but not since, as he knows what my stance is on cheating and inappropriate relationships.
I know it burns her @ss that we are happy.. she tries very hard to disrupt our lives, ruin our family vacations (since she only knows when we are going away if we take the skids) and holidays (showed up 2 hrs late on Easter to pick up skids, and didnt tell dh, so he left the festivities early to meet her)
The fact that she posted this blog on OUR anniversary speaks volumes to me... That was our 2nd anniversary.. A week before our 1st anniversary she assaulted me.
im glad u found answers
i hope it will help u...but it still sucks that shes using it as an excuse to do all she has done to u and ur family...
in my case
BM forced him into everything, or tried to...she forced him into having a child by lying about BC, then tried to force him into marriage. she actually bought herself a ring and told people he proposed!! how pathetic! then she wanted him to reimburse her! she went to the bank and drew up paperwork for a joint account which he signed bc he felt like he was stuck and didnt want to fight w her...now shes trying to force him to choose the child he had w her other his other.
she hates me bc i am living the life she tried to force upon him. she also says "i dont want u...im so happy we broke up" blah blah...go tell yr lies to soemone else who will believe them. she is just a miserable sick person. i feel bad for her really...it must suck to be so awful u have to force men to be w u and force them to have a life w u
re:
BM tried to "warn" me to about how "awful" DH is, but SHE was the one who cheated with everyone she came in contact with, SHE was the one out racking up DUI'S, and neglecting her kids, SHE was the one who lied with every other breath she took. And she had the nerve to warn me??? HAha to that one, I'm surprised my DH even made it through without major issues. So, what are you going to do , in light of this new info.??~ " I started out clean, now, I'm jaded"~ Rob Thomas, Matchbox 20
OMG.. the bm's must be
OMG.. the bm's must be related.. this one also got pregnant after 6 months of dating.. then they had to get married. How funny.
They should be poster children for what NOT to do.
they must be related or from
they must be related or from the same planet! she played the victim when my H got her pregnant. since his parents and hers made it clear that they had to marry she went along with it knowing that my H did not want to or even liked her... after she got what she wanted and gave birth she would leave the child to my H and she would take off knowing that my H was tired from work. and then she asks herself why it didn't work.. oh then she has the nerve to tell my H before we got married not to ruin this relationship like he did theirs..WTF!
they are jealous of us that's for sure...
yeah theyre all from the same alien planet
where they must not have birth control, know how to use it properly, or just pretend to use it and flat out lie to trap naive men into a lifetime of misery...they also see their kids as paychecks, crae more about their own horrible personal agendas than the kids well-being and try to destroy everyone in their path, even if it means destroying their own kids in the process, bc after all, that is not their fault, they are the victims :sick: :barf:
u nailed it!
u nailed it!
ive got a real piece of work BM
on my hands...:(
if its any help we all do
if its any help we all do and ur not alone
i know
it does help in a way and in another its makes me very sad that there are so many women like this and that we all have to put up w them...
shes a poster child for something!
im just glad he didnt GET married! then he'd be paying alimony to that witch and THAT i definitely couldnt take!
bellacita
Very well put!! Same thing in my case...she did all of these horrible things to him, and then told him that he was the one who did not want to be a family.??? DH does admit to not wanting to come home from work alot, because he could not deal with the life that was forced on him, or her crazyness. BM in turn, made life even worse for him........bottom line....they should have never had kids,& got married, it was doomed from the start!!~ " I started out clean, now, I'm jaded"~ Rob Thomas, Matchbox 20
I dont know what I can do..
I dont know what I can do.. I guess it gives me a much better understanding of why she is so crazy.. and why I am treated badly. Why she wants my skids to hate me.
I have toyed w/the idea of telling dh that I found this and how its on our anniversary and that I think she is hung up on him still.. But he would not be psyched that I was sluething online... He always wants me to pretend like the ex doesnt exist.. not to be concerned w/what her and her new dh are doing or not doing.
How would you use it.
just use it for u
to remind urself that u are living the life she wanted(s) and w every slam she gives up, every time she knocks u up against the wall, every little stunt she pulls, just smile knowing shes just jealous...and that u are having a great time in the life she ruined for herself!
how do u find their myspace?
how do u find their myspace?
Put their email address in.
Put their email address in. Also, look up people they are known to be friends w/and see if they are listed as friends of that person's profile.
I knew her email address and found some of her relatives on line.
I just want to know why I am hated and why I am constantly blamed for things I dont even do. That ticks me off to no end. I will write a new blog on Wed, while at work as to the crap that she pulled last night...
not that i'm defending her at ALL but...
if i was married and my husband cheated on me, i would be destroyed and i would as well, agonize over it undoubtedly, for years to come. the fact that she is LESS than kind to you, i suspect has to do with the very deep hurt he caused her and she must ask herself each and every morning: "why did he do this to ME?"
i understand that for every cheater there is a set of circumstances and reasons that helped him/her get to that point. i would know, i was unfaithful to my ex when i was with him. and let me tell you, the guilt i still feel till today for being dishonest, secretive and a downright liar, regardless of the circumstances, i will never forgive myself for.
i hope by reading her blogs you have now come to an understanding that is rooted more in compassion and empathy than righteousness. and for her, i hope she learns to let go, and that she meets someone who will truly make her happy and allow her to feel that she deserves ever bit of it.
Just trying to be a Stepmom without getting Stepped On.
and ps.
sounds like she is remarried? if this is the case, obviously this new man isn't the right one, because she clearly has alot of pain and regret over her failed marriage and present relationship isn't enough to help her let it all go. failed marriages for many of us, can fester like an open wound for many many years. again, i would know as i'm sure many of us out there would.
Just trying to be a Stepmom without getting Stepped On.
I am with dragonfly here...
Lovers do not finally meet somewhere, they were with each other all along.
How do you exactly find someone on myspace? I have tried bm's name, married, maiden ect and nothing. Also, how do you see exactly who has been checking out your own myspace page?
i have myspace set to
i have myspace set to friends only so only my friends that i accept and know can look at it. and i have also tried BMs name though i do not dare to try it with my H last name cause im scared i'll find her that way..
At least she is honest
You're lucky that she was honest and discussed her real feelings and reasons to "hate" you. All BM ever says is that I'm a whore, BF is a deadbeat, and we're both idiots who are out to ruin her life.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
I get that she isnt happy..
I get that she isnt happy.. but why treat the person that cheated on her like gold, and the woman that married him and had NOTHING to do w/the situation like crap on the bottom of her shoe? That makes no sense..
Misdirected anger.
I've suspected.......
You can't rent space in my head, I reserve the right to evict you.
That the reason BM hates me is because I got what she didn't. BM had 3 kids with DH. Wanted to get married, but the relationship wasn't on solid ground and hasn't been since they got together. They've talked about marriage, but DH never got around to buying her a ring. Then they got into a fight, she falsly accused him of abusing her, he went to jail. She would call his parents and tell them how awful he was. After the jail stunt, he walked away for good.
He meets me soon after, and within two years we are married. I didn't even have to "trap" him with a baby to stay with me and that burned her.(She creid to DH on the phone talking about why her and not me, I can't beleive you're doing this, she doesn't even have any kids by you, etc.) I simply don't believe in having a baby until I'm married, plus I think I'm worth more than trying to trap a man. I'm a good woman on my own, without having a baby. I understand her POV, but that doesn't give her the right to be an absolute bitch to me. I wasn't involved in their drama didn't even meet him until they broke up.
To add more salt to the wound, her kids love me. She has tried continually to get them to hate me, but they will instead come and tell me what she says. Then they'll add their own $0.02 like, Idk why mommy says mean things about you, it's not true, mommy's a liar. Mind you, these kids are 6, 4, and 2. Out of the mouths of babes.....