I was the underdog, the picked on, the champion for all those more nerdy than myself....

And now am raising the SD who starts inappropriate rumors and asks the high school boys who wants a blow job. She is so attention seeking that she goes after every boy that her friends like, and now she has one friend left, but is VERY popular with the boys.

I am in hell! Ok, maybe not. But I definitely understand what you mean about being on the opposite end of your situation. I think what makes it hard for us too is we want to tell them, "People who put others down are shallow and/or hate something about themselves so they are trying to bring others down to pull themselves up."

You know what SD says?

"Oh yeah. THAT's it. I have LOW self esteem." And sneers at me. She just doesn't get it.

I feel for you. A few times I saw my sons get yelled at by their coaches when they were pretty young. I'm pretty laid back so I know that they weren't yelling appropriately at them. I could feel my hackles standing up.

Peace, love, and red wine

She was bullied in middle school. A couple of girls would walk past her in the hall and would shoulder her as she went past. Come to find out they were jealous of her because she was about to become a brown belt in Taekwondo. BD would show some of the others on the basketball team some moves in PE and the mean girls (who were not on the team, just watching from the bleachers)would laugh about it. Anyway, I told BD the next time they shoulder her, drop kick them then and there. I told the principal that if he wasn't going to control the bullying, I was allowing my daughter to defend herself. He needed to consider himself warned. I also dropped a hint to another lady I work with whose daughter was a year older and on the basketball team with BD about what was going on. This lady told her daughter and this girl and her friends stood up with my daughter against the bitches. Ha Ha. There's strength in numbers.

"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry" - Rita Rudner

Haha! Just giving you a hard time!!!

You know Colorado, my best friends son had ADD and Dyslexia. He was tormented in school and having a terrible time. He held it all inside and the anger tore him up. After she discovered he had these issues, the school adjusted his curriculum, she enrolled him in Boy Scouts and soccor and suddenly he started doing so much better. The kds did not make fun of him anymore... or if they did, he had better self esteem to handle it. There will always be bullies in school. try to focus on some ways to make him feel better about himself so that when he starts being told that he stinks, he can handle it. Tell him to take a big whiff of himself in front of him and say, "Must be you stinkin', because I smell like a million bucks!"

He will be okay. I was made fun of in school because I had bigger boobs than anyone else. I hated going to school. But I think I turned out okay. The girl you referred to in high school did not get involved in heavy drug use because of you calling her tuna. It was the abuse that did it. Stop beating yourself up.

"I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay."

I was bullied really badly too, by my own family! it was no fun and sometimes no amount of standing up helps. Everyone kept waiting for me to put my 7 years older, 60 lb.s heavier sister and my 5 years older 6 ft. tall brother in their place - the adults didn't want to take them on physically either! He may need adult intervention.

"In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer." -Albert Camus

When I was in Junior High my best friend and I picked on a younger student until she cried. I remember my friend didn't like her because this younger girl had been ugly to her before, but that doesn't excuse the way we ganged up on her. I still feel guilty about it though it's been 25 years.

One of the things I suggested to my son (who is small for his age) when he was faced with being teased at school is to react to comments in such a way that those saying them don't get what they want out of it. He could either act goofy, laugh it off, or ignore it completely. Once the bullies figure out they aren't going to get a rise out of someone they often stop. Of course, it may have already escalated in such a way that your son feels he can't do that.

Also, you might mention what's going on to your son's teachers. I am a high school teacher, and if I know something is going on I will really keep an eye out for it and take action if I see it. You'd be surprised at how surreptitious these kids can be and often it's really hard to detect in the classroom where work is the focus and not socializing.

I hope things settle down for him soon - he sounds like a real sweetheart.

put him a karate course, it builds confidence and when kids hear he is in it they will most likely back off or ask to see some cool moves, my oldest was younger and smaller than most of his friends/classmates, we put him karate to help with his cooridnation and he ended up become confident and well liked.
keep an open eye for changes in him and just talk talk talk.
my youngest was picked on in high school and was even punched by a bully, my son got up and walked away from that kid without looking back...the kid was suspended I was furious but helpless, but my son (it did hurt him inside and out) but he knew that kid was stupid and would end up going no where and that was enuf for him, (although a couple of my sons friends ended exacting some revenge)
all i did was listen and try to comfort.
it is NOT easy..

“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”