BM is GONE and took SS with her
BF was supposed to pick SS up for visitation this evening. When he got to BM's house, he found a note taped to the door. It said "Mom doesn't know where I am. I've been told by several people NOT to let SS come with you due to the highlighted section." This was written on the back of her copy of my restraining order. She had highlighted the part where no one was to contact me for her or give me messages for her. SO she's gone. When we got home, we found a message on the answering machine from SS. He said "Dad, if you're there, answer the phone NOW, I have something I want to tell you. I also have a question. How am I supposed to have visitation with you when Nymh's paper says that my Mom and anyone my Mom associates with is not to be around Nymh? HUH? Answer that, BIG BOY!!"
BF has written an email to his divorce attorney to let her know what's going on. I don't know where we go from here but I think it's about to get much uglier. Has anyone here had to deal with a BM running off with the kids before? What can you do? I know we're going to sue her for contempt of court, but other than that, what happens now?
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Can You Get
An emergency hearing with the Judge? This woman is a flight risk!!! She is unstable. I am soooo sorry this is happening to you this woman is a danger to her son and herself.
Kidnapping.
Does he have shared custody or just visitation rights? If he has joint legal and joint physical custody, I think you can get her on kidnapping. If he only has visitation rights with her having sole legal and sole physical custody, then you can probably only get her on contempt. If he does have joint custody, I'd call the police.
~ Anne ~
"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
RE:
They have joint legal and physical custody.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
I talked to BF
Last night I asked him if he could call the cops and report her for kidnapping and he said no. After I read what you said, I told him that since they have joint legal custody it is considered kidnapping and he could report her to the cops. He just kind of shook his head and walked away.
I don't think he's going to call the cops, but I know he'll be suing her for contempt and full custody. I think he's a little overwhelmed by the situation. I wish -I- could call the cops!
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
Nymh...
I am so sorry for what the three of you are going through by the actions of this awful female. I wish I had more advice, but all I can say is to find out how to get an emergency custody hearing due to the fact that BM disappeared with SS. I don't know how long they will want to wait, to maybe see if BM will come back again before they do anything. I'm keeping you in my thoughts! Best wishes
Hang in there, Nymh.
I know you guys are worried. She just did this to scare you and to relatiate for the RO. She's probably not far. It wouldn't surprise me if she went somewhere for the night or weekend and will be back at her sty, I mean "house," within a few days. Does she have the financial means to disappear indefinitely with him? Probably not. That's a very damning note she left, though, and it does imply kidnapping. If he doesn't appear by the next scheduled visitation period, I'd say you could bring kidnapping charges and have her dead to rights. I would even bet that you'd get a quicker response to reporting him kidnapped than you would to filing an emergency petition with the courts. If it were me, I'd do both.
Let us know what happens. I'll be thinking of you guys.
~ Anne ~
"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Stay strong, Nymh
You know that she has left enough evidence against herself to help you guys if you go to court and I hope that you will ASAP. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
marika
Maybe she won't show up
..in time for our court hearing on Wednesday. I know that's horrible of me to wonder but it has crossed my mind. I'm supposed to meet her in court over the RO on Wednesday. This little stunt has me wondering if she's even going to show at all.
I'm so worried but I'm more bewildered than anything. I just can't believe she actually did this. Doesn't she know how bad she's making it on herself?
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
DNA?
Sounds like she's the long lost twin sister of Caitlin's SD's mom.
~ Anne ~
"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Exactly what I was thinking!
SD's BM pulled the same thing at Christmas one year, except she didn't even have the courtesy to leave a note. We didn't know where they were, we were worried sick. We regret to this day not filing kidnapping charges or at the very least contempt of court. If only we had called the police, we could have record of it - but at this point, it's just "he said she said" as far as the courts are concerned.
Good luck, Nymh and I just hope that SS is safe. I'm glad that BM left you some damning evidence at least. The only difference between our two BMs is that yours sounds a lot dumber than mine. Mine has never been as stupid as to leave a note like that.
Exactly
That's exactly what has me so confused. This woman is usually so cunning and manipulative, she almost never "screws up" so badly. She's the kind that will dance on the line of what is illegal so that you can never get her convicted but she's a continual nuisance. I just can't believe she'd be so stupid as to leave a note saying exactly what she did. Maybe she's gotten so cocky that she doesn't care or doesn't realize when she screws up? I don't know...but just the simple fact that she'd do something so out-of-character has me questioning how rational she is right now.
I was talking about this with the girls at work, and now I'm starting to get really worried about SS and if he's OK. I did some reading last night on parental abduction (probably the LAST thing I needed to do), and in a lot of cases the children end up with severe psychological problems like PTSD, malnourishment, being beaten, etc. I'm wondering if she is so irrational as to do something as stupid as this, what else she could be doing that we don't know about. The girls at work tried to say that she'd never hurt her own son, she'd never do that...but it was kind of in the "no good mother would do that" way. I told them that they had no idea the sick things this woman has done to her child that we knew about...lord knows what she's putting him through now that they're alone and somewhere where no one knows where they are.
Apparently, parental kidnapping is considered a felony. I really wish that BF would call the cops. I can't stand not knowing where SS is or if he's ok. I couldn't imagine if he was my own child. I think BF might be in shock still that she actually did this and that might be why he's not called the cops. I know he is really torn up about it, though he's trying to go about business like nothing is wrong. I think he wants to believe that BM would never do anything to harm SS but I'm not so easily convinced, especially with what I've witnessed. Maybe he's seen her in better days and maybe he knows more about her than me, but what I know about her and her skills as a parent I do NOT like...and that is what has me so worried.
AGGH
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
Oh, Nymh - I know how you feel
Yet, I do but I don't - because we only had to worry for 2 days until they turned back up. You're going on 5 days now and I know you must be worried sick. What about school? Has he been attending? (Or is he out for the summer?)
Try not to let your imagination run wild. It really doesn't do any good for anyone. File that missing persons report and hold on to the hope that he'll be found. Then he can come live with you where he'll be safe.
I'm so sorry this is happening. And I'm sorry that BF is sort of shutting down instead of dealing with it. We all deal with stress differently, I suppose. But this really needs to be dealt with!!
She can't flee forever...
And I agree that this is kidnapping. I agree with whomever said to wait the second time she refuses visitation that you file kidnapping charges. Right now, BF is overwhelmed, and seriously, let him dwell on it for a moment, collect his thoughts.
As far as your RO, if she doesn't show, than that will look bad and a judge will not like her wasting THEIR time... believe me! Most likely, they will push, and reschedule the court date out, plus add some hard hitting provision to get her attention to appear. At least that has been our experience.
She is using SS as her avenue, her vessel, her argument at this point against your RO, because that's her only recourse, she's got nothing left at this point. But of course, I don't have to tell you that...
Hang in there Nymh, let us know what happens Wed. I am very curious at this point. I imagine that this will not look good for her, and to be honest, I really am not sure if she will or won't show up for court... I almost bet that she won't, but on the same hand, I think she will and use SS as an argument against it.
Has she ever NOT appeared in court before?
Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...
RE:
That's my thought pattern at the moment. She's never NOT shown up to court before, but then again she's never called to try to get the date rescheduled either. Apparently, the date was bad for her to begin with.
I think she'll show up and turn my court date into another bitch session for herself. Instead of talking about MY need for a restraining order against HER, she'll use the opportunity to bitch about how bad of caregivers BF and I are, how he cheated on her, she's a victim, blah blah.
We'll see!
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
Steve is Right
This IS a form of harrassment.
How?
How is this a form of harrassment?
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
One More Form
She is getting even with BF for having the nerve to file a complaint against her. This is just one more thing to try and hurt you both to me that constitutes further harrassment.
That makes sense
But do you think the court would see it that way?
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
Yes...
It's more leverage for you, I'd speak to your attorney about this, and at least you have yet another angle to use, because incidentally, this is what she IS doing... if you can point out to the judge her flight with SS as a rebuttal, the judge may make her explain to the court why she refused visitation, I can guarantee that she won't have enough to warrant an excuse- in the eyes of a judge.
Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...
I agree.
This stinks of retaliation. She states in her note that she did it in response to the RO.
~ Anne ~
"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Hmmm....
I'll call my lawyer on my lunch break today and see what he says. Hopefully he agrees because I really do see the logic in what you guys are saying. Knowing him, he probably will. At this point he's about willing to try anything to get her. Though the longer we go without word from BM, the more I'm wondering if she's even going to show on Wednesday. Especially considering she's already pled with my lawyer to change the date because apparently she can't make it anyway.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
Isn't the Reason You Got the RO
Isn't the Reason You got the RO against BM is for the harrasment you all experienced during the time you have visitation? I mean fifty something calls are a lot of calls. The emails were over the top. She shouldn't be calling at all unless it is an emergency!!! It is so obvious this is to get even with you guys. I would do a show cause so fast her head will spin.
Geez
I'm alittle confused. Where is the bitch and do you know where SS is?. Did BM disappear with the boy or just with holding him from you.?
This is everything I feared about with her.
RE:
They're gone, no one knows where. We still haven't heard any word from anyone that she's back, where she is, or even if SS is safe.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
File a
missing persons report with the police on the basis that you genuinely believe one or more of them has been harmed as this has never happened before. Also state that you have reason to believe she would hurt hurself, and possibly him.
The police will have to look into it and let BF know if they are safe, and you will have a record of the event when and if you decide to file for a)contempt, or b) kidnapping.
This is a felony. Also, it is DEFINITELY harrasment. To be exact, it is a terroristic threat to BF that he will not see his son again.
When BF is calm, gently remind him that the GAME IS ON, and he must continue to fight the good fight. If this was a spiteful act, She is handing you custody wrapped in a bow. If not, you must do all that you can to see your son is okay, and a missing persons report is the first step.
Make sure you say that you are concerned for them BOTH, and worried for their well being. Police will take the report and put out an APB locally.
Ooh, this is a good idea!
A missing person report is a good idea... doesn't really accuse her of kidnapping, but would have the same affect of getting the authorities to find this child. It would probably result in an Amber Alert, which would reach a lot of people who might spot him. Plus, anyone who is harboring her would probably think twice, unless they want to be prosecuted, as well.
~ Anne ~
"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Nymph
This is kidnapping if she doesn't present him soon especially if it is the BF's time. I would file a kidnapping report!!!
Nymh any update?
Have you heard anything from BM or SS?
~Evil
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
Confucius
UPDATE
I found a blog posted on BM's Myspace yesterday. It doesn't say anything about being gone or coming back. All it is is a bunch of crap about being mentally abused and how she's a mental health professional so it can happen to anyone, you should get help if you're being abused, your life is in danger more so if you're being mentally abused because you run the risk of taking your own life, her husband cheated on her and she held it all in because she didn't want anyone to know, blah blah. So basically nothing of use.
We still have no word whether BM is actually back at home or if she's still gone. I'm *assuming* that since she posted a blog, that means she's home - but I have no proof.
I guess we'll see for sure if she shows up for my court appearance tomorrow. If she doesn't, I'm calling the cops myself!
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
Oh My God
Do not waste another second. Call the police. PERIOD. RIGHT NOW.
PLEASE. I don't care what the lawyer says. I'm so upset for you.
Prayers & hugs, Jo