NCP should have rights too! Dh and I are headed back to court soon for modifications of DH and BM entire divorce decree to include c.s, and custody. Originally dh wanted to attempt getting full custody of ss however, the more we thought about it the more we felt that if we did actually get custody, bm would do something extremly irrational, like hurting self, hurting ss, or coming after us physically. Not to mention the small things like calling dfcs on us every other day, or attempting to get us arrested for one thing or another...not only is she vindictive but extremely unstable...so I understand the legitamacy of your concerns...we havent got a court date yet, but will let everyone know when we do...kinda freaked about even having to see this woman agian.

I feel the same like your DH. The important person here is your Sk and if its necessary for you guys to take custody of him coz of his mother's instability, I think you should go ahead. Probably psycho BM will make it easier for you guys when she denies DH visitation and the judge awards custody to you. She will only have herself to blame but being the crazy irrational being that she is, she will blame you and your hubby for her consequences. I don't know how old you SK is, but if he is old enough, he might be seeing how his mother is behaving and causing him so much pain. You can also explain the situation to him if you happen to get custody. You have no control of her actions. Even right now she might do something stupid in retaliation over the RO.(God forbid she does). I honestly hope that she won't try to harm SK, you or your hubby physically. It might sound mean but I wouldn't really care if any of these super evil BMS committed suicide brought upon by their own actions. They want everything their way or nothing. When they don't get what they want, they start throwing tantrums with stupid threats. Now thats their problem. It will be difficult for the kids at first which would make it difficult for us SMs to see kids having to deal with such trauma but life has to go on. What are we going to do? Your situation is tough but i pray for you that things will fall in place by themselves with no drama. I have experienced times when I am in a tough position and I don't know what to do and somehow things just work out by themselves. Do what you really feel is right for the child. all the best. I will be thinking of you.

When we were knee deep in custody battles with SS years ago, and I felt the same way because of BM's irrational behavior, and in someways, she really did try to harm herself, because (unbeknownst to us then) she did so by starving herself to numb her feelings. The whole anorexia thing. As I look back and know what I know now, I can totally see and make the connections. But at the time, I worried because she was soooo unstable and frantic all the time. DH even brought it up one time, and yes, we were concerned, but the truth of the matter is that we needed to be there for SS and give him a safety net. We prepared ourselves for this possible outcome, but fortunately, somewhere down the line, she pulled through. And last summer, she got herself help- which is working. So, in my case, I can say that I must be one of the rarities... LOL.

For you, I would say that the best thing you can do is to focus your attention on SS and provide him that safety net. No pressure, just let him be a kid, and give him a voice when needed. Lots of support and love will go a long way. If something does happen, just be prepared to set up a counseling network regardless how SS reacts, because than it will provide a means for him to deal and handle it properly, and as a family. But let's hope that's not going to be necessary! Personally, I won't worry until it's absolutely necessary.

StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

i mean, it is obvious bb is causing ss emotional problems, i.e. emotional abuse, so can't you call child services? at least have her psychologically evaluated? then you could get emergency custody...it's a step. i'm sorry you have to deal with this, it's just crazy! this is where we are supposed to be and we need to help out as much as we can. it will be worth it some day when ss is grown and living a good life, CONSIDERING. if my dh can grow up and live a good life, having no dad and a shitty mom, then anything is possible, especially with a step-parent like you!
best of luck!!!

Nymh, your thoughts and fears are exactly my own. Things have gotten so out of control this week that it looks very likely that we will file an emergency petition for custody in the immediate future and I'm sure the backlash will be even worse than what we're going through now. Anything could happen. You can't put anything past these women. They will stop at nothing. Scary stuff.

Best of luck to you!

What an unfortunate situation! I can only imagine how stressful this time must be for your family. *prayers for u guys* I was just curious as to what grounds the lawyers have for believing she is suicidal, and has she had a psych-evaluation yet??? If not, hopefully she gets one soon-so they can whisk her away to the nut hut and she can get some real help, like shock therapy!!! Her life must be sooooooo miserable, that she has to project that onto you guys constantly. Hang in there, I hope for SS sake she recieves professional help-IMMEDIATELY!!!!

I've told you all along, my fear with her is that she will do something extreme. Mainly, run away with SS. The suicide thing. Oh well. I feel the same way sometimes. Lets face it, Darkness slit her wrists last year. Bf & I talk about the 'what if's' if she does it again and succeeds. But we realize there is no sence in guessing what might happen. Cross that bridge if & when you get to it.

I always have prayers for you. Jo