Can the court order that DH use email when communicating with BM
My DH BM is such a coward and will go "off" on DH in emails about what a horrible father he is, how we don't have a good home life for her children, etc, etc. She has been doing this for almost 3 years now. We got married last year and now is even more determined to run our household. She tells him what to do and treats him like an ATM machine and a babysitter. She acts like he is a deadbeat dad but pay CS and Alimony (never late) in the tune of 2400.00 per month. Meanwhile she works part time, because "she can". She has never said these things in person or over the phone to him or I, so about a month ago we put a block on her email and told her that DH has to focus on work and can no longer accept emails from her. He told her to call him on his cell phone or send a letter via postal mail. She hates it..My DH has an hotmail account that he has had for several years (before me) and she didn't send him emails to that account before but now that we aren't responding to her she is trying to find any way possible to "email" DH. She emailed him yesterday at this hotmail account blasting him again and told him that her attorney will order him to communicate via email. WTF... Can that actually happen. We reported her email address as spam in hotmail so now she can't email at all. Since we haven't had this constant intrusion and harrasment in email everything seems so much better between us. Is this ridiculous I have never heard of such a thing. How can a court order this. What did divorce parents do before email..
- aka's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
a court can order it
ONLY if BM was harassing him by phone , text, or other means......then they will order that communication will be only thru e-mails.....BUT with your BM using it already as a harassment "tool", that will not float in court. The court will only order some thing like that as a way to reduce/ stop harassment between the parties.....not help BM continue it."~waiting on the world to change~"
dont be so sure chel...
we wanted email only bc of BMs harrassment via phone and text and even in person but the court wouldnt allow it...she also claimed she was too poor to have internet at home...GIVE ME A BREAK. hopefully they will do something to cut down the harrassment bc you shouldnt have to deal w it, but in our case, the court didnt care about our proof and didnt do a damn thing to stop it and protect us from her. we were actually told that we have to put up w her shit basically bc DH had a kid w her and if she made our lives a living hell, so be it bc we should put up w whatever for the sake of SD. true story...
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
there is a law,
it's called "phone stalking", I had to show proof of all the phone calls(records), and saved all the voice mails, and recorded all phone calls, and submitted them to the court. It took alot of doing, and I do think that the only reason she (BM) was forced to stop was because alot of her anger started to focus on me, and the skids were older, and had to hear some of the messages on the answering machine(it was terrible...her voice screaming thru my house) and it was abusive not only to me but them as well. I hate seeing the courts letting this abuse slide, it happens all too often!!"~waiting on the world to change~"
on a lighter note...
the courts ordered e-mails only, they had to be carbon copied to the mediator, and our lawyer.....and BM still harassed us, had her hubby write them for her, so she thought she would not get in trouble.??! The judge was so sick of her, she made her go to anger management classes!:) Now, we live so far away, she does not need to "write to us", so I have changed our accounts, and e-mail adress, so she can't start up again. She asked for it once last year, and you can guess what answer she got from me on that. The skids have the cell# , but they never call, and she(BM ) can't, cause she knows we won't answer, and she will just get in trouble all over again."~waiting on the world to change~"
Nobody can make you check
Nobody can make you check your email, or even have email for that matter. A judge can order that she can only contact you once a week to help stop the harassment, he can order that she is to make no derog. comments, etc...she is just trying to threaten you. Just continue to ignore!
I would actually prefer
I would actually prefer that she use email as her direct line of contact for several reasons.
1. Paper trail, paper trail, paper trail.
2. Documentation, documentation, documentation, please see #1.
3. I don't have to check it unless I chose to.
4. I can chose to check it 2xs a week, daily or every two weeks.
5. If she is spewing ignorance, I don't HAVE to read it AND the bonus the garbage that she spews becomes 1 and 2 (my documented paper trail).
Step Mother's Motto this week is:
You don't have to LOVE me, you don't even have to LIKE me... But you will RESPECT me.
You want her communicating by e-mail ...... paper trail!
Aka,
I absolutely concur with The Principle... You want her e-mailing her vitriolic crap to your DH. Just save it to your hard drive, print a copy for your Family Court folder and hand it to the Judge every time you have to go to court. Is very difficult for the blended family opposition to play the "I never said that" card when the judge is holding proof to the contrary in his/her hand.
However, do not respond in writing, respond via telephone. That way she has no paper trail to attempt to pressure you with.
Our Bio-Dad refuses to accept any written communication from us and will not answer his phone when we call. His mother (SpermGrandMa) is his talking head and interface with my wife on all things SS related. When SpermGrandMa goes off on my wife SpermDad maintains plausible deniability. But .............. we record every call which works very well for baring GrandMa's ass in court. I love it when the judge berates them for the record.
Good luck and best regards,
I would still do email only
I would still do email only PERIOD. There is no need to fear a response being twisted and turned around. When you have a series of emails and correspondence one can see the context. I think that alone is sufficient. Now BM can TRY to make it into something more, but if and when it goes to court the judge can see for him/herself that there was no harm by the actual conversations. Just a thought. For me, I wish ours would communicate via email. The less I have to speak with and see her, the better.:sick:
Step Mother's Motto this week is:
You don't have to LOVE me, you don't even have to LIKE me... But you will RESPECT me.
So you get the e-mails too?
BM loves to berate my FH with her e-mail rants. I agree that e-mail is excellent. She cannot control herself and now their is documentation of FH attempts to work with her and her irrational, argumentative responses. We once had a voicemail message when she threatened to call the police on FH because he went out of town with the kids and myself and did not return her call within ten minutes. How psycho? Yet she can let her husband go out of state with SS9 without FH permission...double standards?
Keep up with the e-mails and watch how you respond. She will continue to let her true colors shine through.
Crayon
Hey Crayon,
I say proof is still on your side. You keep copies of all emails that you send and receive as well. She can doctor or alter all she wants. Shame on her if she submits an altered document in court trying to pass it off as something from you guys, because you have a copy of the original showing exactly what you said. And if I'm not mistaken, usually when you print a document from your email it usually lists the date and time that the document was printed. I see it as a win-win situation. She would be an idiot to try it, but then that would be HER ass in the fire.
Step Mother's Motto this week is:
You don't have to LOVE me, you don't even have to LIKE me... But you will RESPECT me.
we had to do email
My DH and BM would get into screaming matches on the phone and it disrupted my household so I suggested they communicate via email and it is working wonderfully. I agree things can be altered but we don't continually add to a previous email so that ends that. BM is cordial most of the time and so is my DH. They each have a email address seperate from their regular one that is used only for this purpose. They used it with the mediator too, but that didn't last since BM didn't like being told what to do.
My EH calls and it is almost always h*ll for me. He is rude, nasty and short with me no matter what. I wish he had email but I don't think he can spell it. Seriously!