The snake rears her ugly head

It has been quite some time since I have been on this site. I guess when things seem quiet I just go on my merry way.

A bit of background.....I had a verbal argument with my husband ex last year...said some mean things....just had a miscarriage and they entered my home saying it was inappropriate for SD to refer to me as Stepmom....I lost it on her mom and her. Felt terrible for my actions...did counselling and then months later sent a sincere apology note.....to this day it has not be acknowledged. I needed to let go of my own guilt and get back to living my life.

Well, she can't let it go..almost a year later. Every time my husband ask her for something....she refers back to my behaviour.....how awful I am. This is the worst thing that has ever happen to her (she slept with her best friend's(of thirty years)husband but that doesn't compare to my words.

What makes me mad is that she constantly holding this against my husband..even went so far to say that she is investigating ways to take time away from him (he has 37% and has been fighting forever to get 50%). He treats her well and is very respectful towards her (there have been times when she got more than I) and her is a great father.

I now feel guilty that she is holding this over him. Why does she insist on holding on to this? I know it will mean nothing in court ...we go soon but it is just such a thorn in our sides. Do they ever get over things and move on or are they forever there to be difficult? I know I am dealing with things better...I am pregnant, my dear little son and my dh are my major concerns but I just wish she would leave us alone!!!!

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Hi FearlessI would love to

Hi Fearless

I would love to hear those words come out of his mouth just once....well not really...don't need more aggravation from her but it would be sweet sounding. LOL

I know it isn't my problem and he says that but after all she has done and now she hangs our argument over his head...just not fair....you are right she has nothing else.

Read the blog about mother's day....sorry about your cat. I know how sad that can be...i put my dog of 11 years down 3 years ago and I still miss her. Do something nice for yourself on mothers day....maybe with your mom or by yourself. I remember pre son what those days were like....never a Step mom's card (SD was too young)..we would do things for her mom...make a card or I would buy her a card....and when my first Mother's Day came the Ex never even whispered a "Happy First Mother's day" (not that I would expect someone like her to think of anyone but herself.) Be Good to yourself.....you deserve it!!!!!!!

You've apologized

We all say or do things that we later regret. You've apologized and are obviously sincere. You can't stop her from holding a grudge. It shows what kind of a person she is.

Congratulations on your baby boy!

Thanks Didddos...baby boy

Thanks Didddos...baby boy was 18 months ago...entering the terrible twos now...so not sure if you should be sending me sympathies instead!!!! LOL I am pregnant now...due in July (its a girl)

That is why I wrote the letter...I was wrong..pushed to that point...but wrong with the things that I said...and felt that I had finally lowered myself to their level. I felt bad that I had put my husband in that situation. But it has never been acknowledged and now everytime he ask for an extra day here or there...our fight is the thing she mentions.

I rememeber I was going across the border to going shopping with my sister and she told my husband that I would never be able to take her daugther there...maybe I would kidnap her....leave my precious son and husband behind, all my family and friends, my great job and wonderful home...just to have SD....so out there!!!!!

I know...she has never paologized to her BF for what she did to her....so I know there is no kindness in her heart so I stopped thinking that she would move on but it hurts every time she denies my DH access to his daugther. Just not fair or human!!!!!

It's her only excuse

and she's using it. There's nothing you can do about that. If she didn't have this to use against your dh, she'd make up something else. I agree with Fearless. He needs to tell her to get over it already.

I misunderstood. Congratulations on your new baby girl!

Thanks!!!!I feel the

Thanks!!!!

I feel the same...Let's move on and get over this.....DH did tell her this is her issue because we are so pass this. It just gets to me though that she would deny him extra time because of something that happened almost a year ago. You are right she has nothing else. Why do they not want the fathers to be more apart of their children's lives. We have heard so much about dead beat dads and we are seeing more fathers that want to be with their kids and the EX's won't have it. We have sepent thousands and thousands of dollars trying to get 50% and we are heading there again soon.

I guess the EX's just can't let go...need some control. So sad.

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