Where to begin? My fiance got 4 comp tickets to a children's play so we arranged a surprise sleepover for SD with her friend (the one who came over on the last visit - we'll call her BFF). BFF is SD's friend from swimming. BFF's mom and BM are friendly because they both volunteer for swim team and their daughters are best friends. Well, we didn't tell BM about our plans, not because it was a secret, but because we didn't think it necessary and honestly, we knew she'd try to control it or prevent it in some way because she just wouldn't like it. We certainly weren't keeping it from her - in fact, we arranged to meet BFF at our 6pm pick up at BM's apartment so everything was out in the open.

Apparently, BM called BFF's mom about something unrelated and left a message. When BFF's mom called back and left a message for BM, she innocently said that BFF was very much looking forward to seeing SD that night. Well, BM left another message back and BFF's parents didn't say exactly WHAT she said, but just that it was ugly and they apologized profusely for starting something. We said "oh no! Don't feel bad, you naturally would have said that to her. It wasn't a secret, we just didn't think it was something to discuss with her so we didn't. We're so sorry you got stuck in the middle of this. Whoops!"

When we got there for pick up, SD was super surprised and happy to see BFF, so much to our amazement, BM didn't ruin the surprise. However - BM was in rare form. I think she was so furious that she covered it up with manic effusive excitement and just plain madness. She ran over to BFF and tussled her hair so hard she put it in a rat's nest, gave her a huge hug, then gave ME a huge hard hug, shaking me back and forth shrieking HAPPY BIRTHDAY (my birthday was last week.) I said as calmly as I could, "happy birthday to you too" (hers is next week) and smiled and tried to act normal. She gave me two birthday cards, one from her and one from SD and made a huge production about it and I quietly thanked her, trying to bring down the volume level. She loudly and excitedly said "SO WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR THIS WEEKEND? WHAT HAVE YOU GOT UP YOUR SLEEVE? WHAT ELSE ARE YOU DOING? HUH? PLANNING ANY TRIPS? SO THE OTHER SHOE HAS DROPPED, HASN'T IT?" We don't even know what the heck that was supposed to mean.

So, we actually were planning to come down to my parents' to celebrate my birthday, but at pick up and drop offs we avoid discussing anything with BM because it's never good and it upsets SD. My fiance kept saying, "I'll call you to discuss it. Let's not do this in front of SD." but she wouldn't have any part of that. "No!" she said. "It's good SD be a witness to this. Sorry, SD. It's Daddy's fault. Daddy's not communicating. BF, I need to have constant contact with SD. I need to be able to get in touch with her IN CASE HER GRANDFATHER DIES!!" SD was sobbing through all this, I was trying to distract BFF and our little one, desperate to create some kind of normalcy so BFF wouldn't be totally freaked out. It was terrible. BM was clutching SD, screaming. BF was trying and trying to end the conversation and leave, but he physically couldn't because BM had both her arms gripped tightly around her.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I marched over to them in the parking lot and said "ok, now is not the time for this. It should be kept between the adults. SD is very upset. Maybe we should bring this up at the next Family Based appointment, shall we?" Well, I've never seen a more grateful SD. She said, "yeah. I just want to have a NORMAL weekend! Please!" BM was still rattling on and I kept repeating "this conversation is not happening now" ad nauseum. She demanded "Caitlin, honey. Get over here now and talk to me." I repeated "this conversation is not happening now. Good bye." She was just seething.

We finally got all 5 of us piled into the car and the rule is that everybody is buckled before I start driving. With a carseat and two preteens in the back, SD had trouble getting her seat belt fastened because she couldn't get to the buckle. BM was there, beating on the window for an interminable amount of time, so SD finally put the window down. BM started gushing "SD, sweetie, I love you so much. I'm so sorry I upset you. Daddy didn't communicate, you see. Please tell me where you'll be. You need to be in touch at all times since Daddy won't. Please promise me. I love you." SD is getting increasingly flustered and can't get her seat belt on and finally BFF pipes up "ok, bye BM!" Bless that little girl.

We got going and BM walked and then jogged alongside the car, waving and screaming "I love you, SD! I love you so much! I'll see you on Sunday! Please call!" When we finally got out to the street, SD said "Cait, thanks for barging in like that - I guess that's not the right word... but thank you so much." I said, "I am very happy to intervene, my love. I'm so sorry that happened in front of you. We'll work on not ever letting that happen again."

And we went on to have the very best weekend ever. We still are. We're at my parents, the kids are playing outside with the cousins, and I grabbed this one free moment to share the horror story of Friday night while it's still fairly fresh. Gotta get back to the family and enjoy the rest of my day!