rough draft letter to stepssons mom regarding new baby
"We are expecting our second child together in late spring/ early summer. We have explained this to Jacob. We wanted to let you know so that if he has any questions we can all be prepared to make the transition as smooth as possible."
How does this sound any suggestions?
- skye22's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I think it sounds great!
Its simple, to the point, and expresses concern for your SD. Good job.
Good luck!
Whatever you write/say, she will raise a big stink. Just remember to keep your stress levels down for the baby's sake! I know this is hard. We went through it too and yes, it was ugly. But we got through it! We focused on the happy news of a new sibling and not on mom's jealous nonsense that resulted from the news. Bottom line: we ignored her.
When are you planning to tell your SS and give the letter to his mom? Are you going to wait until later or is it too hard to keep the secret? That was our problem. EVERYONE knew but SD and we were constantly afraid someone would inadvertently bring it up in her presence. What a horrible way that would've been for her to find out!
Sounds good!
I hope the news is accepted without too much hostility. When we broke the news to my husband's ex, she took him back to court for more CS. (You need to be spending your money on OUR KIDS, not making more kids with HER.) Funny thing is that it actually ended up being reduced! It's still too much, but at least it's not half his paycheck anymore. Lots of luck!
~ Anne ~
Well the cats out of the
Well the cats out of the bag. Mind you my in laws KNEW that we had planned on waiting to tell my stepson about the new baby. They were video taping the boys in their Halloween costumes and my mother in law reaches down and grabs my belly and tells the camera "And next year we will have another little monster." My stepson who is 6 looked at us funny. SO we decided to ignore the issue that night being it was Halloween but at the next visit (3 days later) we explained to him that he was going to have another brother or sister soon. He seemed pretty excited. He asked what the name would be and we said we didn't know yet. He said is last name going to be like yours and my dads and my brothers. We said yes. I am wondering if he is now wondering why he has his moms last name. But I don't know. And he asked then if it was going to be a girl or a boy and we said god was gonna surprise us. He just smiled. We mailed her the letter I posted above today. So here to hoping that she won't freak out!
Your MIL is a very
Your MIL is a very “special” lady with some SERIOUS issues! At least it’s officially “out” and you can move on from here…Make a GREAT Day!
Yes, she is very
Yes, she is very interesting!!! I don't think she liked the idea of us not telling him for a while, so she found a way to fix it for us
Oh, well. It does feel good not to have to hide it.
I think its good..
Also very sad that you cannot have another baby in peace because of this woman.. Personally I think its none of her business. But I can so understand why you want to write it..
Sounds awesome. Maybe she has turned over a new leaf.. LOL I know you are cracking up right now..
I would rather have let my
I would rather have let my stepson tell her whenever he felt like it but then we were afraid that she would snap on him and we didn't want that! I just hope this time she isn't hell bent on making our lives difficult. Last time while were were pregnant and starting our family together, she was in the middle of a divorce. We got married the same month as her. So I'm not sure if that had something to do with it or not but I'm really hoping she just chills out this time. Things have been pretty calm lately. I think mainly becasue we don't give her the reactions that she wants anymore.
any news?
So, did BM freak out or has all been quiet after sharing the news of your pregnancy?
What does this sound like to you???
Well, I thought it was all okay....... This weekend is the first weekend visit since telling her and guess who calls this morning to cancel the visit. She calls at 8 am. This is the convesation the best I can remember:
Me: hello
her: "JANE!!!" "TIMMY WILL NOT BE MAKING HIS VISIT TONIGHT"
Me: why?
her: HE HAS BEEN THROWING UP ALL MORNING
me: okay well I hope he feels better. Can we reschedlue for another weekend?
her: I'M NOT SURE THATS POSSIBLE SINCE ITS THE HOILDAY SEASON
me: okay I will let my husband know. Goodbye
I understand that he is sick but her tone was rude and confrontational. Since he is missing our regular weekend visit she should allow us to reschedule on her weekend. But no. I think its interesting that this happens right after we tell her about the new baby..... But I could be speculating. Whatever. Since we don't have him for Thanksgiving we had planned a dinner to celebrate with my stepson tomorrow. We invited all the family. We did this so that he could be included. I am not rescheduling at this point. I feel bad that he is missing out but we have to carry on.
And so it starts...
I know it's just speculation, but it seems to me that this is just the first example of her attempts to make things difficult for you because she's jealous about the new baby. We want to have a second child too, so I'm curious about your situation since it's so similar to ours: vindictive BM making first pregnancy hell, etc.
You sound like you're in a good place, though. I'm proud of you for taking it so well, even when SS has to miss out on the early Thanksgiving with the family. It always devastates me when my SD can't join us because BM denies visitation left and right. I HAVE to learn to just "carry on" like you say. For my own sanity!
One thing I can't really understand - why can't SS just be sick at your house? Maybe throwing up is a little extreme and he shouldn't be transported from home to home, but there are times when my SD has a headache or something and her mom won't let her come. Like we can't take care of her when she's sick? In any case, you should get a make-up weekend, even if it's not until after the holidays are over. Or hey, why couldn't you see how he's feeling tomorrow? Maybe he could still come to your Thanksgiving if he's ok by then.