I’ve found that since I’ve been on this site I spill all my emotions to yall and I don’t bitch to his as much! Try not to talk to him about it until it is pertinent…share with us to vent and go to him ONLY with solutions to the MAJOR issues that you cannot resolve….it has helped me out a million fold!

Make a GREAT Day!

I bitch and moan to you all.. Thanks to everyone..
I mean we still get into it at times about things that we disagree on and usually its her or one of his children.. Which is funny, I know my kids are little and all but he never complains about them, how they treat him which is great.. But they are 10 and soon to be 8 you would think that we would have more issues and we don't.. But he never has to say anything about my kids because they show respect for him at all times.. I made sure that when we moved in I talked to them about all that.. And it seems to work.. I also have told him many times that if he wants to call my ex and complain go right ahead it does not bother me.. He never has but I leave that window open.. But at the same time he does not have to I am very strong and opinionated to my own way and can take care of myself.. I guess.. I wish you luck.. And just try to remind yourself all the time she is out and you are in.. And she is miserable and you are happy.. Well at least you are working on the last one.. Smile and remember we are all here when you need to vent.. Come to us before going to him..

It's so true. This site has been so helpful. I've let go of so many negative emotions. I'm really feeling very at peace lately.

My X e-mailed me yesterday to tell me he's going to instruct his lawyer to start court procedings. I was a little stressed initially upon reading it...breifly...then I'm at peace again.

Our issues need to be resolved one way or another...either by mutual agreement or a judge...so what's to be upset about? Bite the bullet on the legal fees....no-one is ever 'prepared' to finance legal fees. I just want it over...so 'in the big picture' it's really a good thing. Moving forward!

(It's just that we've spent $20,000.00 + on legal fees only 2 or so years ago...ouch)

That's my new catch phrase...."In the big picture.."...by the way.

Things seem so much smaller and easier to deal with when looked at in this context......it's really working for me!

Venting is good, I agree. But the more that we vent every day about issues with the ex, they own our time...they become more of conversation, our time and our energy even when they aren't around. That almost becomes another identity that we take on instead of talking about self and strength and how to overcome issues. Bottom line is...ex will not change because we want her to; ex will not change because her kids may want her to; and ex will not change because our spouses want her to. She will not change. We have to...change our perspective, our expectations, something to prevent this from occupying so much time, energy and emotion. It just isn't healthy.

X & I we have nothing on paper! We sold our home, divided our assets, split/payed out our joint debts, worked out custody, a visitation schedule, Child Support...all by verbal agreement.

BUT we reached a road block over pension, insurance on maintenance owed, and section 7 add ons....

He has been a bit of a bully in this regard. And every so often one of us would try to address it again..we've inched along...but are at a stand-still.

I'm not in any hurry to re-marry..I am happy with where things are..
I don't need the 'marriage paperwork' done for any particular reason. I think he wants to move on..(marry)..his girlfreind..and wants the paperwork done. It would be nice to get it settled once and for all.

so I was still hoping to negotiate, we are so close to an agreement.

He knows that I cannot afford a lawyer..especially after going through the courts with hubby's X. He has lawyered up and I'm afraid to go head to head with her on my own...but I don't trust him/or his lawyer's wording, etc.

I did contact a lawyer the other day, will meet with him Friay or next week and met with our banker to see about re-financing the house to pay for that if we had too.

I did complete my own separation paperwork, subject to review by a (my) lawyer...to him this week. I'm sure to get everything I want, via a judge..but he had refused to pay for many things he should've, that he verbally committed to, then refused when it came time for him to re-imburse me, which caused financial problems for me.

I want him to pay his share of the child-care for the last 5 years.
Retro child-cupport for the years he withhelf financial information from me... etc

I don't know if any of that is worth pursuing.....
PArt of me says forget it...PArt of me says, he is irresponsible in so many other ways..its time he stepped up!!