Disengagement: Holiday edition

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The other night I asked DH when Skid will be here, because I like to be prepared.

DH stares off in space for a second, then responds with “Uh, mid month I believe?”

I don’t respond.

He continues “I know that BM booked the flight and that skid is going to miss her holiday concert at school. Skid is not too happy about that, even though I know she’s excited to come here.”

So, in a nutshell, he knows the date - the in-laws always pick skid up at the airport, because of DH’s work schedule. I know he knows. He wants to keep it on the down low, though, so he can trick me into engaging with her somehow, some way, probably out in a public place, where I will have to put on my best happy face.

I assume she’ll be here this Friday, then. At least I’m still prepared for the shenanigans.

I know what you are saying

I know what you are saying here. Men are not tuned to all the preparation it takes for the holidays. There is so many little things to do; therefore, they do not give it a thought about letting us know a date and time.

My DH is the same way. He thinks it just falls together on it's own. Ugh....

I do very little towards my grown skids, because I am totally disengaged. They stop by or do whatever; I do not give it any effort. I decorate and do the holidays for people that love and respect me. Whether I see my skids makes no difference to me. They come and go to visit DH, I just stay civil and hope it's short.

My DH doesn't understand

My DH doesn't understand calendars at the best of times! Last night after returning from a visit to my daughter's he announced that he would be visiting his sister next weekend. He now works Saturdays so when I asked him when the decorations were going up he couldn't answer me- so I think it will be the day before Christmas Eve!

More like these men use lies

More like these men use lies of omission regarding their precious poopsies. They like to pretend they find out at the last minute. Of course he knows the flight and date and time.Like you said so that you can be tricked into engaging.
Mine does the last minute thing to let me think that him and SD are not overly involved in the minute by minute of their pathetic enmeshed lives.
Never knew enmeshed existed, or mini wives, or co dependency was a thing until I walked into this.

“Never knew enmeshed existed,

“Never knew enmeshed existed, or mini wives, or co dependency was a thing until I walked into this.”

Nailed it!

If DH engages in “Hey, text me once you make your connecting flight” when I or his parent(s) fly, I know damn well he’s engaging in that with skid.

He can play the ‘I’m just as out of the loop as you are’ all he wants. I admit, though, it’s insulting he thinks I’m dumb enough to fall for it. Ha!

Dovina...wow...110% spot on.

I get more notice of their

I get more notice of their visits now that I've disengaged than I ever did when I was trying to win over SD. I think he used to be scared to bring it up because he knew I dreaded seeing her. He goes to see her now, so I'm off the hook. Maybe when your SD is older you can avoid her altogether - he can go visit her at college and someday at her house. We can hope, right?

I would say - mid month is

I would say - mid month is not an answer, please give me a date, I need to ensure her room is ready.....

he will give you a date,

then look into the room and say - nah it's ready and book the day away from home lol

I wanted to press him for a

I wanted to press him for a date, but I could tell he was going to throw a passive-aggressive fit if cornered.

Skid spends over half of her visit with her grandparents, thank goodness. DH works 6 says a week, and I’ve already voiced to everyone I’m not an unpaid babysitter.

Oh, and MIL loves to malign

Oh, and MIL loves to malign me, because I am disengaged from her precious snowflake.

The evil side of me wants to have a little fun with this by sending her a text along the lines of “When is skid arriving? DD4 is asking when she’s going to be here. I asked DH, but he said mid month - that he didn’t know the exact date.”

That would expose DH to momsies, while showing I’m on to both of their BS games. Lol }:)

lol.... do it. It's not evil.

I sent her a text almost an

I sent her a text almost an hour ago. I expect there to be a delay in responding, because I’m sure she’ll contact DH first with a “Momjeans just sent me a text asking when skid will be here! What do you want me to say!?”

Oh wait... as I’m typing I just received a couple texts from DH. One with a lot of kiss and heart eye emojis. One with “Thinking if you, love you beautiful.”

After that, one from MIL stating “Skid flew in this morning...”

So predictable.