You have a whole other adult in your home, taking the resource of your gf's attention and it grates on you. That's understandable. But you're going to have to let some of this go for your own sanity. You are only going to be the loser in any battle that invlusldes trying to get a parent to love their child less. There's nothing wrong with pet names or asking for a hug. We're herd animals, we enjoy touch.

I'm not sure what the big blow up was but it's understandable that you are especially annoyed about the situation if you feel disrespected and marginalized. However, disengaging from a 22 year old probably has less impact than disengaging from a 15 year old.

Have you considered seeing a therapist to help you find constructive ways to express and maybe change the resentment you are feeling?

Your girlfriend will not take a stance,why should she? Her dd is not bothering her, she likes the attention and the affirment from her dd that she is a good mother. The only one who has an issue is you. You say you are living in your gf house and you have been cohabiting for 7 years and nothing has changed. Believe me it will not. Her dd knows that she is affecting you, moreover she just told you off and guess what her mother does not care otherwise she would have told her daughter to shape up, at least I did when I was married to my ex.

Sadly, I do not think that you can affect their relationship, and I think that if you want your relationship to survive with your gf the only recourses ise to disengage. I did not follow my own advice and guess what after being in a relationship for 25 years he divorced me because of a severely enmeshed relationship with his middle aged who was 49 years old when we divorced because of him.

Your sd is staking her territory by really flaunting the "mom mom" and other terms that are getting to your goat. She is definitely winning in the battle for dm/gf because you are annoyed. There is a sight to learn how to disengage on ST look for it in the forums. Best of luck to you,

It drives me nuts that SD is 30 and still calls her father "Daddy." It's this aggravating thing women do to infantilize themselves in relation to their fathers - men don't call their fathers "daddy," and it sure isn't considered a cute thing to be a "momma's boy," but women love to be "daddy's girls." I didn't ever like it, but the more I got to know SD, the more the "daddy" stuff grated on me. So I think it's natural the "mom mom" thing is grating on you.
I disengaged and it has helped. What if you just don't go to GF's house? When she finally asks why, you can tell her that her daughter makes being there uncomfortable. She might get tired of always having to come to you and address the situation. But she's more likely to just deal with having to come to you because these parents will do anything to get out of parenting.

You are over complicated the situation....

both girls are adults, how they interact with their parents or how parents interact with their adult children is none of your business, unless it's your money being spend on a step child,

You are taking mini-wife to literal, it can be Dad - son/daughter, Mum - son/daughter.... it's a bout any parent feeling guilty because of a divorce,

It bugs you cause your GF still calls her daughter Peanut, yet you still address your daughter with her nick name? Why does your GF's actions pisses you off, maybe your actions piss her off.

Yes disengage from the adult daughter, you are not her parent, make sure you know there's only 2 people in a relationship, you and GF, and GF must be on the same page, if she's not then there's a problem, it has nothing to do with either daughters, it's between you and GF...

Yes, you do have a lot on your plate. My one advice, is that it really does help if you can write about like you do on ST and talk about it when you find individuals you can share your dilemma with. We have a million jumbled thoughts going on in our heads constantly. Writing or talking about helps to organize your thoughts unilaterally and in an organized fashion and therefore be able to deal with the issues in a better way as your thoughts are no longer jumbled.

Yes, you do have a lot on your plate. My one advice, is that it really does help if you can write about like you do on ST and talk about it when you find individuals you can share your dilemma with. We have a million jumbled thoughts going on in our heads constantly. Writing or talking about helps to organize your thoughts unilaterally and in an organized fashion and therefore be able to deal with the issues in a better way as your thoughts are no longer jumbled.

i have an adult brother who has his thirty year old son as a wife.

they do everything together and share confidences. the son tells his father how to dress. they finish each others sentences. the son does the shopping and the cooking.

they use the word "we" like married couples do.

the son does not work but is addicted to social media and video games. son claims to have plans to be a musician in a rock band and my brother has spent thousands of dollars of musical equipment. drums and expensive guitars.

the son goes to sleep at all hours of the early morning and gets up in the afternoon. he does not attend college.

this is enough said.

i think the work mini wife can apply to sons and also fathers.

i am glad things turned out well.

my brother never married or dated after bm drug addict left and abandoned their son almost 30 years ago.

brother and son sit side by side in restaurants and feed each off their plates with fingers and forks. it is really unhealthy! i am sure bystanders think they are two lovers.

it is stomach turning as my brother and his son are to close to each other and nephew will never grow up. not only did his son drop out of college he also quit work. this has been going on for more than five years.

small wonder brother has not dated or married as he already has a wife in his own son. sick.

Tell me about it. My ex would stop in the middle of making love to me when his ds called to chat with him because he could never bring himself to let the phone ring and let it go to messaging if it was his ds, no matter what we were doing. What was worse was ex would go take a crap while he was on the phone with his ds. I would hear him on the toilet groaning, farting, and making all kinds of noises but would continue on with the conversation and he would even flush the toilet while on the phone. You would think one of them would say, "let me call you back", as ss also knew his df was on the toilet. Talk about sick.

A sd who is out of college should nor be acting like a 5year old (thats how old I assumed she was from how she asked for a hug). Is there immaturity there?sure.
However: None of the behavior of the daughter to her mother is inappropriate
If some person came into my mothers house and told me i couldnt ask my mother for a hug bc in bothers them i would tell them to foff too.
The outburst of the adult daughter towards you should be dealt with between you two as adults.
Her wanting a hug has nothing to do with her attitude towards you.
I would refrain on telling GF how to behave towards her daughter.