Disengagement - 2 days now
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I have decided to attempt this disengagement thing. I downloaded an app called DayCount to track how many days I can go without discussing my two SD’s with my husband.
I’m on day 2. I had to go to bed early last night and the night before so I didn’t freak out and say something.
Time helps, and once you stop
Time helps, and once you stop ALL discussion (like they no longer exist to you or live in YOUR life), with him, the longer you do it, the easier it gets really. The peacefulness is seriously rejuvenating. You even get upset if the subject comes up- after a few months, because it is like it is invading your peaceful thought process and you feel you need to protect yourself from all the drama that could all too easily seep back into your life.
Think of them as no longer having any space in your head, mind, and life; to YOU they do not even exist any longer. Hopefully you can stay away from them physically as well, this makes it much easier. And, you do have to sever all methods of contact with them, including social media. The less you know the better and vice a versa. For example, even when I disengaged, they were "accidentally" texting me nasty little things, until I was forced to even block that avenue.
But, at this point watch your back, because they are still out there lurking for any way to find some/any slight fault of you and report you to daddeeee, even if you are virginic snowy white. Sadly enough, their instinct to "get you" at least for me, never stopped. When you disengage, they are no longer in control of you, so they have to start working much harder to get to you.
Read on ST frequently, many of these ladies have lived in this dynamic for years; they are your support throughout this crazy process.
shutting your mouth is part
shutting your mouth is part of disengaging. many of us care and that is why we say something.
in time it becomes easier. the mantra is not my circus not my monkey.
Okay. I spoke too soon. SD
Okay. I spoke too soon. SD called again and I let myself get angry. Resetting to zero.
I have been disengaged a
I have been disengaged a little over a year. Expect to have many resets; I sure have, particularly in the beginning. After a while the resets will become farther and farther apart.
You have to give it time to get better. It will. In the beginning you are still in an emotional turmoil about the situation that made you want to disengage in the first place. It's hard to not lash out when you are hurt. A year later, never bringing up my OSD42's name is awesome. I don't know what she and her family is doing; I used to care about that too but that has gone away as well.
I found disengagement SO
I found disengagement SO EASY!!!! It is the norm for me after the behaviour that was shown to me..........
I am at peace now.....all I need to do now is to win a million pounds so I can buy a property where those who get on my nerves DONT KNOW WHERE I LIVE.........