Excuses excuses
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BM seems to always find a reason to text or call DH. SS12 had a game this morning. DH told him earlier in the week he would pick him up and take him. The info was given to all the parents at the same time on where and what time. DH said BM sent a text this morning while in route to the game asking where and what time. BM lied and said she never received the info. DH couldn't text back because he was driving. MIL told DH to stop responding. BM did not show up to the game. SS15 and DH's former FIL did.
Any excuse to have contact with DH. It used to bother me when we first got hitched. Now it's just plain annoying.
Sounds familiar, except in my
Sounds familiar, except in my case, BM doesn't text DH to ask him for info, she either texts at the last minute to tell him something he already knows or to ask if he can do things for her. Sometimes, he'll give her and answer and she'll text him back again later to either "confirm" his answer or ask him again as if he never answered at all.
Anything to hold on to her connection to DH. DH doesn't believe me, but I think BM still has feelings for him.
Oh BM does that too. I
Oh BM does that too. I thought she was going to text him last night asking DH to take SS12 to the game.
I used to think the same that DH had feelings for BM. Then part of me thinks he is a little flattered. Ehich if he is, he better get over it quickly.
When DH and I first got
When DH and I first got together, BM was calling him *daily* just to talk - mostly to complain about her life or take out her aggressions on DH. I told him "therapists would say that if a divorced couple feels the need to talk to one another daily, one or both of them has not moved on. So, is it you who hasn't moved on or your ex wife?" He stopped taking her calls really fast after I said that to him.
He did the right thing by
He did the right thing by you.
Ugh...why don't BM's get a
Ugh...why don't BM's get a life? I have never did this crap with my Ex and I'm sure most of us do not.
Exactly. Neither did my mom
Exactly. Neither did my mom and a couple of my aunts. You move on.
MIL is right. What do you
MIL is right. What do you think WE did before cell phones????
This nonsense will stop.
TRY to have a set in stone plan. IF ss has practice DAD will do driving when dad has the child ONLY. Or what ever works out. There is no good reason for bm to call anyone because it is like a work schedule. SET IN STONE. Advance notice is giving when a work schedule changes. IF someone is sick that is different.
Honestly I believe we would be in the funny farm IF we USED cells and text and email with bm.
WE don't nor would we IF the kids were younger. We just wouldn't.
DH put an end to that years ago. It was awful the lies and projection was very unhealthy. HE had to for his own sanity and this was before everyone had cells. HE did it for HIS well being.
A plan set in stone is
A plan set in stone is necessary. Your DH did the right thing. BM is toxic and she too projects. I told DH you two are no longer married. Stop answering her texts and calls. If it's a real emergency she will get in touch and play no games.
Absolutely DaniAM73 There are
Absolutely DaniAM73
There are standard set in stone plans at school, at everyone's work. That's life. Without it is it chaos.
Nothing wrong with resetting the boundaries. NOT GOOD FOR THE CHILD TO HAVE SUCH CHAOS all the time. DAD got the job done as usual.
BM 'I have given my cell UP for the next 100 days like fasting'
Our BM did the asking and
Our BM did the asking and checking for confirmation thing too. Part of it was she wanted any excuse possible to contact DH. The other reason is that she is helpless in general when she wants to be because she loves the feeling of being pampered and coddled. She's lazy ass hell and it's easier to just ask someone than refer to the PP or sports website, or whatever. (She's *real* resourceful tho when it comes to seeking out "free money".)
Our GAL forced us to start using an online calendar of our choice, so we chose Google calendar. We didn't want it initially because we were afraid she's put crap on it about her BS healthcare appointments, but she only has read access. We also hate catering to her infantile helplessness, but I am the one who upkeeps it for the most part, so the notifications she gets are "from" me, which no doubt pisses her off. Once in a while I'll put a small factual commentary on it which will set her off. Like "BM no-show".
Using the calendar put a stop to her BS excuses. But I do kinda feel like i'm coddling her.
Oh I love the calendar idea.
Oh I love the calendar idea. I also love that you are the one to maintain it. I know that ticks BM off.
I forgot to mention, DH still
I forgot to mention, DH still gets the occasional [idiotic] text from BM. We just laugh and ignore. It's great.