Oh hell no! If DH EVER hugged BM we'd have major issues. I would have never hugged DS's BD either. I don't care what message it sent the kids.

No no no no no no no. DH and I would both rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with our tongues than hug either of our exes. Blech.

I can't imagine my DH offering a hug to BM. But BM's DH is the one who would truly go ballistic. He's ultra controlling. DH and BM had been divorced for years and years (decades) when she remarried.

I guess some divorces are amicable and the 2 people still respect each other, blah, blah, blah.

BM and my DH are not those people.

Personally, I only hug people that I like.

The only time DH and BM hugged in my company was when his mum died- I thought it was appropriate as she had known his mum more than I had- although I attended the funeral and she did not.
I hug my ex whenever I see him- whether DH is there or not (I don't see him that often, but he is the father of my children after all). I don't know what my kids think of this- but I want to give the message that although I am no longer in my exes life we once shared a life and they are our children together. What's the issue?- I don't see one.

Why would they be hugging? Seems totally unnecessary.

I suppose I could handle one quick hug of sympathy if the ex was standing there in melting down tears after sobbing out her parent (the kid's grandparent) had just died. Other than that, I find no time that hugging an ex would be remotely appropriate.

WHO IS HUGGING

YOU and the ex :sick:

OR DH and HIS ex.

I have to say my xhusband and I are on great terms. But ewwwwwww, hug him. Uhhhh not a chance.

For me personally (can't speak for DH) I DO NOT WANT TO TOUCH anyone I ever had sex with in my past. Seriously that includes even shaking hands.

The first time I met BM was at SD's high school graduation. DH and I had been married for a year (together for 3). She came up to us and first gave DH a kiss on the cheek, then leaned in to do the same to me. I was shocked. She invited us to join her and SD for dinner after the graduation, and DH declined.

She has never come that close to either of us again since then (subsequent 8 years). We've seen her a handful of times, but have not come close enough to even shake hands.

Totally awkward.

No, no! A thousand times no! I'd rather die than say yes. Badumbump.

P.S. The "message" it sends to the skids is "see! one day they WILL get back together! Now if we can just get rid of sm..."

So, I'm the abnormal one here.

I hug my exH and his GF all the time. We don't see each other often but the circumstances are usually such that a hug is appropriate. ExH GF will hug my DH, the two guys shake hands.

My whole family are huggers, we hug strangers and friends alike. DHs family weren't really huggers but now 10 years later they are the first to hug me and my family. I think we've brought them over to the dark side, lol.

DH would rather be set on fire than touch BM. I've never seen him get within 3 feet of her. She is very standoffish with his family as well.

We were at a function for the skids, BM and her parents were there too. The grandparents were standing talking when we arrived. DH and I went up to them to say hi. FIL grabbed me and gave me a big hug, he also introduced me to BMs parents (which is odd, he usually lets MIL do all the talking, it was like he wanted to show me off?). I put out my hand to shake and BMs stepdad grabbed me and hugged me, then turned to DH and hugged him. BMs mom then gave me an odd half hug and DH a big hug.
It was all very quick and a little awkward.

BM watched from across the room with a sour look on her face. I'm sure her parents got an earful later. We got the customary tell Her to stop over stepping boundaries.

Personally I’d die of shock if this happened in my situation.

But depending on the family and such I could understand. I’m not threatened by other females. My partner has friends of both genders. He works nights and some of his coworkers are females. He jokes about how they hang out and while some people may get upset over the things he tells me I know where I stand. I trust him.

A quick hug is nothing. Now if it were something intense and all that I’d for sure have some issues.

Even though I made it clear that I will not touch any ex I ever had sex with - I do understand how people who who have no hard feelings and who actually like each other can have non sexual affection for each other that includes hugging.

But if that is not you - that's okay too. My exes are exes because they were cheating aholes that I literally do not care if they are dead or alive. They can all go eff off. They are not decent human beings that I want any relationship with.

I've also seen way too many friends who maintained a connection with their ex that included sex. I've seen way too many people whose cheating spouses left them for some "new love" who kept coming back for a little nookie on the side that prevented the betrayed spouse from ever moving on with their life.

Post divorce about 14 years it seems I fall into the camp of exes exchanging hugs. My exes now ex wife used to hug me when we saw each other at kid events. She has been out of the picture now a few years and he is the primary parent for their two kids. It is so weird to hear him going on about parenting stuff. He was the most absent useless parent to our kids together. Oh well start a new family with someone nine years older than your grown daughter and that is where you will be. Better him than me!

But anyway it seems his family has always been huggers and cheek kissers so it is what it is. What it is is superficial fake for show off effect. I basically just go along hugging the ex MIL, FIL and SIL and BIL. And the ex. But I did tell him....don't be mean. Not sure why I said it but whatever. No one was around. My DH did not come to this family gathering for my grandsons dedication so I ended up at a picnic table with my whole ex family. They all came and sat with me. Kinda weird but whatever. I have no feelings for ex. Barely any memories. Nothing memorable. As if I start to think on it just the bad memories come up.

I am sure DH would have a problem with the hugging. If so then he should attend with me. Instead of distancing himself from my family and grandkids just because his family are all such cold hearted birches.

Yes we give each other hugs when we say good-bye. Always had. We divorced when DD was little girl and she is all grown up. We were always amicable and friendly and co parented ok. I hug ex's wife as well.

But we do not see each other often anymore. Only at events that pertain to DD. Last time we saw each other was at our son-in-law funeral and day after. Certainly we were hugging. I believe ex also kissed me on a cheek. We were all very distraught and worried about DD.

DH and BM would never touch each other. They don't talk. She was abusive and harassed DH after divorce, so she is blocked from everywhere. DH is scared of her so no way they'd be talking, let alone hugging.

Depends on the custom.....

I know for a fact SO will never even touch BM lol..... but my brother and his Ex... they even spend holidays together with their new partners, they all hug hello and good bey - nothing strange about it, kids know parents are divorced.

I cannot imagine this scenario. There is more chance of numpty and Jabba stabbing each other in the chest than hugging, if they were in close proximity.

Grounds for divorce...lol

Well my mom and dad hug when they see each other and I don't think anything of it. LOL! My mom will also hug my SM too of course. But everyone gets along. We all even went camping together last summer.

DH would not hug BM because she is a crazy bitter bitch. They can't stand each other.

DH and my Ex do shake hands when they see each other. Sometimes I will give Ex a "pat" like Hi, how are you. But we don't hug. Everyone is cordial.