Resentment
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My 17 year old stepdaughter has caused so many issues between my husband and I that absolutely resent her. Not sure what I can do to overcome my feelings of anger toward her. I know a lot of it has to do with my husband and the way he raised her. He never made any rules for the girl & never any consequences for her bad behavior. It just continues to get worse. I've tried asking my husband to go to counseling but he doesn't feel there is an issue and won't go.
If your DH won't go to
If your DH won't go to couple's counseling, you need to find a therapist for you. They can help you learn coping techniques to make the situation better for you.
Oh I could've written this
Oh I could've written this lol....
disengage ....
http://www.steptogether.org/disengaging.html
this helped me allot, and I've come to realize I'm in a relationship with the father, not the daughter...
my ears shut automatically if she's around or if he talks about her, not my kid and not my problem.
to make things worse, I have a bio son.... I parent mine as I see fit and I leave SO to not parent his as he sees fit.... in the future we will see who raised their brat the best, me as a strict mother and him allow his kid to be free roaming wild child..
I have disengaged as much as
I have disengaged as much as I possibly can. But I'm terrified she is going to ruin my life with her antics. Lying, stealing, drugs, drinking etc. When she gets a DUI, who is going to have to pay for it? When she gets busted for drugs, who is going to pay for it? She's already been arrested for stealing, she's been busted by the police for underage possession, we found drugs in her car, she's already had a pregnancy scare, she's already had an STD. My husband isn't going to turn his back on his daughter so when something like this happens, he's going to bail her out. He never blames her for anything she does. It's always someone else's fault. Arrested for stealing? Someone else put her up to it. Drugs in her car? They are not hers. Admitting to drinking and driving? Well it's only a couple of beers, I'm sure she isn't drunk.
I have disengaged as much as
I have disengaged as much as I possibly can. But I'm terrified she is going to ruin my life with her antics. Lying, stealing, drugs, drinking etc. When she gets a DUI, who is going to have to pay for it? When she gets busted for drugs, who is going to pay for it? She's already been arrested for stealing, she's been busted by the police for underage possession, we found drugs in her car, she's already had a pregnancy scare, she's already had an STD. My husband isn't going to turn his back on his daughter so when something like this happens, he's going to bail her out. He never blames her for anything she does. It's always someone else's fault. Arrested for stealing? Someone else put her up to it. Drugs in her car? They are not hers. Admitting to drinking and driving? Well it's only a couple of beers, I'm sure she isn't drunk.
capp - simply take your
capp - simply take your assets out of the deal, your income is yours only and you only contribute a third of house hold expenses, like utilities and food ... the rest you safe up for a get away if need be one day.
You buy nothing for the brat and you contribute nothing for her, I went as far as moving out, been living on my own for the past 5 years lol.... SO is suffering like hell, I do not care, about a month ago I put the house in the market (our house 50/50) I can not see why I should have an investment I do not use and the way Aergia is damaging it... nope want my money out of the relationship.
It's never these girls fault, they blame every one else, especially the SM...I do not care anymore, I feel nothing toward the brat, and it took a while to get there, but it's a good feeling. If we have plans and Aergia needs Daddy and he runs to her rescue - I keep on with the plans and do it on my own... SO got pissed off at first and I simply said, why should I cancel my plans cause you can't say NO to your brat... your kid your problem... now a day if we have plans and she wants him, he will tell her.. NO.. I'm busy..
it took 5 years to get where I'm now all thanks to this site..