In my home, my friends homes and now our homes the eldest, immaterial of gender, gets the largest room. Gender is not a reason for preferential treatment in my opinion.

nothing to stress over... let SD have the bigger room who cares? Kids leave the house...
you can always make BS's room funky to his liking... belief me he would not care

but when it comes to chores and SD is not pulling her weight then you have reason to be pissed off...

We moved in Dec. SD13 and SS11 had the same size rooms in the old house. SD has the smaller room in the new house. SS's room faces the front of the house and SD's room faces the side of the house. DH wanted her window to be behind the fence so that no boys could sneak in.

SD was not happy about it. She mentioned it every day and to every person that asked about the new house. I painted her room pink and bought her a nice new desk. She hasn't mentioned it since.

Gender doesn't matter. If both kids will be there full time, flip a coin or your son gets his room painted first. Something to make it feel more even to the kids.

If it's DH's house and not yours, I guess you will have to acquiesce.

"Nope. It's mine."

With that kind of attitude, I wouldn't be moving anywhere with him.

As long as it's a new move into a different home (meaning no one being displaced from their current room in an established home), I would give the bigger bedroom to the female. Not because she's some special little snowflake, but because females have more junk than males. It gives the female room for a dressing table (less time in the bathroom) and perhaps more closet space. Girls like shopping and hoarding clothing, shoes and accessories. Males, not so much.

If the kids were three and five, meh, flip a coin. We're talking 15sq feet.

What would be a red flag for me was the 'it's my house' line. Say what? If my kid and I are living with you and your kid (both adults working, sharing household expenses, sharing household chores blah blah), it is 'our home' , or I'm not moving in. Period. That's the point of moving into a different, not already established home. To make it equal and ours. No kid has sense of 'we were here first' , no SM feeling like she can't decorate and reorganize an already set up house, no intentional nor unintentional sense of being the outsider.

There should be no male chores/female chores. That sink of dishes? Those weeds growing in the garden? that dirty bathroom floor and toilet? None of it requires a special body part or lack of. Simple two hands and some elbow grease.

FWIW, if the male happens to have something like a drum set or a piece of furniture (example, corner desk for his computer) that fit and work better in the larger bedroom and/or actually needs the extra few feet for practical necessity reasons, yeah, male gets it. No need to run out and purchase new bedroom pieces due solely on female having too many shoes. *shrugs*

Run a few more thins by this guy to see his answers. Any more red flags lurking in his head not voiced as yet? Now is the time to hear them, before beginning this new household merge.

I think we took the It's my house out of context...

I said this isn't his mom's house. He said, "Nope. It's mine." - meaning it's not his mothers house or any other family member's house it's his house (their house) he makes the rules not his mother...

My husband moved into his house a few months before we got engaged. He told SD who was 11 at the time that she could use the bigger bedroom as her play room until we moved in. It cause all kinds of problems. She had to watch as we moved all her stuff out of the room and try to organize it in her much smaller room so we could move DS12 in.
She pouted and cried about it for months and still brings it up.
DS12 got the bigger room because he is with us full time and has bigger furniture.

Because "she's a girl"? Oh, Lord.

I had two sisters growing up, so we were all girls. Lucky for me, I'm the oldest.

Instead of setting her on this, "but I'm a girl" path, maybe he should think outside that box, so that she will, too.

Maybe, in spite of being a girl, she can make the smaller bedroom work (ya know, 'cuz girls are more organized ).

I would definitely address the comment about the house being his and nail down what he meant by that. It could have been nothing but it could be something.

Oldest gets the biggest room. I'm pregnant with my first and baby will take the smaller room because SD is 5 and lives with us full-time, so she naturally gets first choice and quite honestly, she'll always get first choice UNLESS she stops staying with us full-time. I think step or bio - oldest gets the biggest room as long as all kids are full-timers. If the oldest happens to stay at the house 50% of the time or less, they shouldn't get the biggest room simply because they're the oldest.

I always believed oldest gets the bigger room but in this case it's not who get the room that worries me.

It's whose house it is. It's not his. It's both of yours and the choice of who gets which room should be made together. Also this "she a girl" crap needs to go. She's a girl doesn't mean she's fragile. That is sexist and wrong.

The idea that she would get out of cleaning up the yard because she is a girl? Really? That just set's you guys up for all sorts of problems.

I have a problem with your DH announcing who gets which room instead of it being a discussion between the two of you. You two may not agree and one of you will end up compromising, but it should be a discussion where you both get to bring up viewpoints.

How do you feel about it?

'It's My House" really? So, will this be his defense each time you disagree with him? What else will you give up to appease HIS ownership in the future? It would be OUR home and I would make that clear and I would start right here, given he is made a serious issue regarding ownership at this point. He is telling you-you have NO say in your own life or home (if applicable). If you are on the title, I would bring it out and show it to him; if not, you need a house with joint ownership because he appears to be attempting to control you over ownership.

It would be HIS house alright...after that comment.....action time.

He sounds a little control freaky. And sexist. I don't find dinosaurs attractive. What else is he controlling about. Unless he's 65+ then I'd say he's way behind the curve for someone of any younger age group. Red flag.

The fact you are unwilling to challenge him on this, but instead are bottling up your resentment, says you have decided to accept the role of domestic for the relative luxury/security of a shared home. If it were me, I'd be gone back to the single life, I couldn't stand some guy waving his financial authority over my head. But then, we all have our needs.

In hour house, OSS and BS's rooms were about the same size only BS had a bathroom attached and OSS had to actually walk three feet into a hall for his bathroom which he shared with his younger brothers. We gave the kids their option of rooms. I pulled for BS to get the room with the bathroom because he is here all the time. The SS's were only here a few days a week. PLUS the SS's all had rooms at their BM's house where my BS didn't have a designated room as his Dad's house. My house was his only home where he could take roots. No one really cared all that much about what rooms they got. Shortly after moving in OSS stopped coming so we moved MSS and YSS upstairs to OSS's room. Then MSS stopped coming so YSS gets the room all to himself. BS has launched but still comes home to visit to his room remains his room.

Now that I went through all your replies, hon disengage from SD.....

you have no say in the house, you are not allowed to discipline the little snow flake, thus you will not clean after her, you will not care for her anymore, Daddy can run around driving her and Daddy can clean after his snowflake....

slowly disengage and start rebuilding your life, now that you have BS full time you can simply say you need to chip in more }:) and make sure you do not pay for anything for SD....

Bedroom issues ugghh, we have them also. We have a 4 bedroom home and I have 2 boys and my dh has a son and a daughter. Mine are the oldest and youngest,...SD gets a room to herself but even though I gave her a closet and dresser since we moved here in 2007 (she is now 21) she always insisted on living out of a suitcase and left things I got her here and never wore them. I gave up and started using the closets and dresser and now her room is a mess with my stuff...It is a passive aggressive thing with me?...maybe, but I don't care anymore.

My BS graduated from college last year but is still home and my SS and BS2 used to have bunkbeds in their room but they got too big so we put a twin in there and have a fold out couch downstairs(which they refuse to open like a bed) my youngest BS (17) is the one who gets kicked downstairs when SS is here but I always tell him he is the youngest, he says he doesn't mind.

My BS is planning on being out soon within a few months but is in a entry level job and has to be there a year before he can get a higher paying job so it probably will be late summer before his departure. My DH is always threatening to kick him out and they have had a difficult relationship, honestly I never thought he would come home at all after college but what do I know...

I don't have any advice for you because no matter what, no one can know all we go through, what we've been through and we are all different.

what I do know is find something that makes you happy(I am still looking), it used to be my relationships with my family but it no longer is, I guess it is my own version of disengaging. some fights are worth fighting and some are not.

In my house SD15 has a smaller room than DD3mo will have once she moves out of our room. There are two reasons for this, 1) as DD is a baby I wanted her on the same level as us and 2) SD has it's own bathroom and it's always been "her hearts desire" to have her own bathroom, lol... plus it wont be long until SD leaves for college anyway. I am the oldest of my siblings and I never had the biggest room except in one house and we moved a lot. It's always been decided based on needs and what worked best for our family, and that's how DH and I do it now. Just because a child is a girl doesn't make them anymore special than it does if they are a boy, and vice versa.

Nope, the eldest gets room choice. He may choose the smaller if it gives him more privacy and separation from everyone else.

Your DH dictating disturbs me and were I you I would jerk a knot in his tail for that crap immediately each and every time he plays those cards.

I would not dictate to my bride and if I did she would not tolerate it. We make decisions in our home together. I can only think that