Aggressive behavior
So it's been a very long time since I have been on this site. I've been married now for 3 years and have 2 children of my own son 8/ daughter 6. My husband also has an 8 year old son as well.
We have been dealing with behavior issues from his son from the start. We do 1st/ 3rd/ 5th weekends etc. His son has been expelled from school and has been forced into a private school due to aggressive behavior, tantrums etc. His son never listens to me and will whine and cry until he gets his way. The exwife babies him.
I have for the most part disengaged from the situation. I almost never help with anything regarding him as I know the child will just not listen.
I also never know how he's going to act in public etc.
The problem is that the stepson has been lashing out at my son. Over the course of 3 years my son has been bitten, scratched, pushed, toys have been thrown at him.
I am extremely fed up with the ss behavior and I am shocked that the parents have not taken him to see a doctor.
I do not want my son to have to defend himself any longer. Is there anything I can do? Legally can I take him to a psychiatrist?
The kid needs help/ I want to protect my son and my marriage as well.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Does anyone else deal with such behavior?
Husband sends the ss to time
Husband sends the ss to time out. That's usually it. He also forces ss to apologize.
Has the FATHER asked his
Has the FATHER asked his teacher if he needs to be evaluated? Kids with behavioral issues do not just act up at home; the disorder is pervasive. Therefore they act out in all settings, with all different people./trainers. Does your Husband see daily behavioral reports from the teacher? HE can ask for them (or copies), and for the child to be evaluated for special needs behavioral intervention. This is on your husband to initiate, not you...The bio mother and/or father can request the school evaluate their child.
If this child behaves in one setting but not another (like your home), but all else is fabulous...then you have a management problem, not a behavioral one.
Hope you can get some answers.
Yes. The FATHER receives
Yes. The FATHER receives daily reports from the school. The ss behaves this way everywhere.
So the school should be
So the school should be following up with intensive comprehensive behavioral evaluation; if the private school will not do that, reenroll in a public school. Putting the child in a private school sometimes limits the services available to him. He does sound like there are some behaviors that need to be identified by specialist and provided as an intervention plan to maximize his educational experience. I would INSIST on an evaluation, if he needs intervention-- it needs to begin early to modify behavior. Treatment could range for specially designed instruction, medical, physical screening, and even psychological testing. But, if the teacher or parent does not insist, the child will never be screened or tested.
When I stated the FATHER, it is only because they will not initiate anything from a SM, it HAS to come from a bio parent or a teacher.
Good luck...
Agreed. The school seems to
Agreed. The school seems to only provide a minimal evaluation. I think my next step is going to have to be to insist to my husband myself that he get ss some real help. I cannot continue to have my son suffer due to the parents lack of involvement. The parents have rose colored glasses on. Stating things like "boys will be boys, boys fight, it's what they do."
Often parents move a child
Often parents move a child from a public school to avoid the evaluation....because if he is demonstrating this behavior to others and it is on-going, you can bet public school teacher will document it and proceed with the request for screening. Sometimes the child with behavioral issues is screened, tested, etc.and to avoid the behavioral label at such a young age, they are identified as developmentally delayed. Still, they receive specialized services individually matched to their own learning and behavioral needs.
The sooner the child receives services, the easier it is to make a positive impact.
Your ss sounds exactly like
Your ss sounds exactly like my sociopath10. I'm in the same position. My dh did the same thing pulled him out of public school and put him in private school. He is in total denial that his son is a sociopath.
From my experience you cannot take your ss to the doctor to be evaluated. I tried to take sociopath10 to the psychiatrist for evaluation and was told that only his biological parents or legal guardians can consent to treatment. It didn't matter that dh was overseas and bm is out of the picture, and I was his sole caregiver.
My advice is if you stay in this situation is don't leave ss alone with your kids. Ever. Limit their interaction as much as possible. I hate to say this but it will only get worse. Get counseling for your kids and teach them how to stand up for themselves.
Also let your ss know in no uncertain terms that you do not play when it comes to your kids. You are not dh and you are on to him. Look him dead in his eye put some bass in your voice don't blink or flinch. I found that's the only way to deal with kids that.