How was your Christmas?
I was wondering how everybody made it through the holidays. Ours started out mediocre and gradually became worse.
DH went insane to make sure that SS got an equal number of gifts as my kids as well as making sure they were things he could take with him between houses. He was desperate to avoid what happened last year with the dog.
As expected, the whole mess with DH’s parents and the puppy tainted the holiday. SS could not even pretend to be excited. He did say thank you at least. Of course, DH was really disappointed because he put in a lot of effort picking stuff out. At least SS wasn’t blaming us though.
But all of last week was a lot of mean attitude and comments. We had the keep our sons separated because SS would start a fight every time he saw DS playing with the dog. Then we had to deal with DH’s parents coming over and apologizing and it was miserable. We honestly tried to make it work. But DH’s mother was sneezing around the dog and they would not have been able to help us out in any way.
The rest of the week SS kept pointing out how the dog loves my kids more (he doesn’t), how DH loved his new family more (not true), how DS has a bigger room (it isn’t), and other stuff that is not even true. And despite what the therapist said, DH was defending and explaining himself.
On New Years, we went to a friend’s party and SS had some fun at least. But this week he is back to being the grouch. I hope your holidays went better than ours.
For those interested, DH’s parents found a rich lady who already fostered other dogs before who could take in the puppy later this week. I feel some comfort knowing that the puppy found a home better than what we could have provided.
My holidays were...meh. Hate
My holidays were...meh.
Hate seeing skids spoiled so horribly by their grandparents...but not my monkey, not my circus. This year, in addition to 8 gifts a piece, grandparents put $100 bills in five of the gifts. So skids got $500 a piece. Blerg.
Also hate having SD and (sometimes) SS18 for 10+ days. Not really a break for me.
Our Christmas was alright. We
Our Christmas was alright. We had the kids for Christmas Eve so we did everything then instead of the actual day.. besides fighting with psycho BM who can't read a court order and not bringing the kids on the correct day for the remainder of their break it was pretty smooth.
Ours was very nice, peaceful
Ours was very nice, peaceful but it was not always that way.
They use to be every bit of what many of you are now going thru. Most the stories are the same (SAD). Chaotic, stressful for starters with all the running around to meet certain demands of bm. Feelings of never enough or simply skids being aloof.
BM would purchase the same gifts WE told her (weeks in advance) that the kids put on their Santa List for our house. Of course she had the kids for the first round of opening gifts. 'we got that at our house (moms),,,OH we got that at home and that too.
It was such a pity she would do that.
It was not until we let go of the rope that we could actually live and breathe normally.
When your dealing with high conflict and/or Pathogenic Parenting it is very difficult.
HUGS to all of you who did not have a decent Holiday.
Hold on - are you saying SS
Hold on - are you saying SS won and the dog will be re homed -
I will never allow it to happen, what about your kids feelings? DH should've thought about it all before he got the dog, now a year later... of effing hell NO..
my christmas was uneventful.
my christmas was uneventful. SD, who is also very well behaved and a joy most of the time, also seamed to have that robot attitude while opening presents. She is 6 going on 7 and I tend to buy her a bunch of small gifts. But it seams like kids now a days are always looking for "what else" is there under the tree. Like yes this is awesome but what else do I get. lol. Maybe we've spoiled her too much in the past.
MIL of course was trying to snatch her up each time SD tried to come up to me for something at the family party. But really I just say, you want her, you can have her! But SD rather be near me at family parties. Its fun to watch lol. We agreed to drop her off after the festivities on christmas eve to BM's. Somehow it always works out that we get her xmas weekend and she gets her new years weekend. But this year BM asked if we could drop her off early on the 25th so she could take her to her mom's place for their festivities. We tend to agree on these things. Works out awesome for SD, she gets to be involved in everything. Isn't that how it should be? So tell me why SO's SIL had to make the comment of "hopefully BM lets you borrow her in 2 weeks, since she is demanding her back early now"
We explained to SIL that she isn't demanding her, she wants her to be with them for their family party, since we celebrate xmas on christmas eve(open gifts at midnight Christmas day) we saw no issue with taking her to her moms after the party. BM caves on time for us as well. If we ask for her during BM's time she rarely says no. Sometimes I hate how our Hispanic culture views COD. In both of our families(both hispanic) they feel like no matter what BM is always the bad guy. Unless the BM is related to them then the BD is the bad guy.
Anyways, rant over, I am glad your in-laws found a good home for the pup. Having a do is no joke, its like a kid in my book. I've been searching for a service dog for the last 8 months and still can't find the right fit. I feel slightly bad for your SS not being able to have a dog but its really not your fault. He had a dog to share with the family and he refused it. So really he just needs to learn life isn't always fair.