I think she was out with her friends. Here are my thoughts:

1) because my sons Nan is dead she wants to get in on it
2) she s trying to get a reaction out of me personally and she's chose the most personal thing
3)she's attention seeking to her friends looking for their sympathy

She's been there with us before. Her mum wouldn't have taken her there.

I need to say something because I am not going to let this one go. But she won't visit us and she is avoiding her dad.

So at my son's birthday (3rd sept) she left early with her aunt (dad's side) without asking us. she then went on to tell her auntie me and my sister were bullying her and made her do all the chores. This wasn't the case, everyone was mucking helping decorate the house but she made it sound like only she was. Anyway, we didn't see her for 3 weeks after that because she was avoiding us. When dad called a meeting so we could discuss whats happened we had it all out in the open. she admitted she only told half the story and that she was wrong for making us out to be bullies. dad made her call everyone involved and tell the truth. no one cares and we are still tarred with the bully brush coz they think shes still sweet little *****

then the following week she came round quickly after school to pack her bag because we was going away for her dads birthday. when her mum came to collect her there was a huge argument about her social media usage. her dad said he doesn't agree with her posting pictures of long nails, bright red lipstick and pouting the way she does.(age 13 at the time) he said there was horrible men out there like perverts and rapists out there and she doesn't know. her mum then tried to justify it saying if someone whistles at her walking down the street then that's out of her control. he wasn't talking about that, he's talking about what is in her control. then when her mum got home she vented on facebook calling my husband all sorts and when someone asked her what happened she told them, and all her facebook followers, that he said HIS DAUGHTER DESERVED TO BE RAPED BECAUSE SHE WORE A BIT OF RED LIPSTICK! This was clearly not the case. He doesn't have facebook so couldn't defend himself. a mutual friend sent screen shots of this as i don't have her either. He was extremely upset about this.
he text her mum the following day when she apologised admitting it was a 'knee jerk reaction' and she shouldn't have said that. but she failed to tell her daughter this.
we then didn't hear from her, she didn't come away that weekend, she didn't contact him on his birthday at all! then 7 weeks passed before there was any contact. it got the better of her dad after 5 weeks and he tried calling and texting to which she just ignored. he then called her mum and she said she has tried to get her to make contact but she doesn't want to. (she has still kept in contact with the rest of his family during this time)

then he got a phone call from her mum saying the school have phoned and they believe she is self harming finding marks all up her arms. He said this cant carry on any more tell her i am going to collect her from school right now and he did. She didn't want to go with him at first but she did in the end.

they then had a 3 way conversation with her mum on the phone on loudspeaker where they got into his head making him feel guilty that he doesn't do enough for her, mostly financially. so he decided to take her shopping for new clothes.

I was rather angered at this because i know it is not the case as we pay for all her school uniforms and dinner monies and we have also seen pictures of her showing off her new things to family so she cant be that desperate. i said she should have taken all of her things from our house to resolve the 'desperate' need and then when the relationship and her attitude improves we would then go and buy new clothes. bearing in mind her birthday is 14th dec and xmas was coming.

anyway my point was proven because she posted a caption on her 'secret' snapchat saying - WHEN YOUR MUM MAKES YOUR DAD BUY CLOTHES
He was extremely insulted, her mum didn't make him, he done it because he wanted to. whilst still on the shopping trip he asked her what is this about and she said i posted it when we first got her coz i still had the hump with you. he was so upset with her he took her straight back home to her mum.

the next day there was a family party (his brothers 30th) which she had been phoning round everyone asking them to take her and they all united and said no we cant take you unless you speak to your dad. and then she called on that morning apologising for what she done at shopping, he said i think your only apologising because you want to come to the party and she disagreed. he said come round and we will have a chat and if it goes well you can come with us and if it doesn't ill take you home again. but unfortunately his family took over our house with party preparations so we didn't get a chance to have a chat with her but he did say you need to come round in the week for that chat. she went to the party anyway. she got there before us and when we arrived she didn't acknowledge us at all. infact she walked past us 5 TIMES completing blanking us.

on sunday she called and asked for money to buy clothes like nothing had happened to which her dad said no. we now know other family had given her money that night totalling £40 so she was juts being greedy.

when monday came for her to have the chat she text and said she aint coming because shes not in a good mood.

then we didn't hear from her for another 4 weeks then the cemetery incident was last weekend!

The problem with let it go is i've kept my mouth shut for 5 years with this behaviour, i've only been able to tell my husband what i think for the last year. where he has finally seen it for himself. now they are taking the piss out of him and i can't sit back and watch it. hes clinging onto the fact that his little princess will knock on the door and say hi dad i've come to see you and my little brother and i know it is not going to happen.

shes only just turned 14 3 days ago so i would be calling social services on her mother myself if any of the above was going on.

she only wanted to bring a friend so she didn't get a grilling from us for her actions the past 3 months. she went to stay with her aunt and grandparents (they all live together at the seaside) last weekend and took a friend there too.

is he really in the wrong for not letting her bring a friend?!! he misses his daughter who hes seen once in 3 months so if there's a chance hes going to see her of course he didn't want to share that quality time.

She hasn't spent hardly anytime with her brother since he turned 1.
her dad has given up, he doesn't want to speak to her mum to get this sorted co she doesn't listen anyway. hes getting himself in a right state.

(sorry for essay)

Is this appropriate to send to a 14 year old?

So after yesterday's message Molly, We need to clarify a few things.

The comment at the party - your dad told me to say something because we was both upset u kept ignoring us. The first time you came over was with your hand out for money for a drink. So that was my reaction because I was annoyed.
Straighteners- I didn't think at the time you did deserve to use my straighteners because I was still upset with what you done to your dad at shopping. And it was frustrating to have to act like nothing's happened that day with a house full of people when we haven't seen you for 7 weeks.

I have NEVER said to you - your dad has another family now. After speaking to dad last night, he reminded me what HE actually said to you was "I live here with Rachael, Jenson & Matty and you don't seem to want to be part of our family anymore"

You have made it look like this is all because I am horrible to you but if that's the case why are you taking it out on your dad? I wasn't here when you argued about social media, when you gave your dad attitude on Friday, when you mugged him off at shopping.

I have every right to be upset with you for going to my mums grave. You should never post pictures of grave stones or memorials online without the family's consent, or at all in fact because that's extremely insensitive. We can't understand (and I quote your dad) "why you would go to the cemetery to my mums grave who you never knew when you can't make contact with the family you have got here" I have never told you that's your Nan. How can she be your Nan if she's dead. You should also never have taken your friend there. I have had a go at matt for taking friends there before and that's his own mum. It's a personal space. Please don't do that anymore.

We don't know anything about what's going on in your life, school, changing schools, the bullying, your counselling. Your dad told you before, we can't help you or support you if you don't tell us what's going on.

I understand you may be having a tough time as a teenager because remember I have brought 2 up already! And it wasn't easy for me when I was a teenager given what I went through. I would be the 1 person that would reason and understand with what's wrong but I can't do that when you are blocking us out of your life by making up silly lies and twisting things.

So you promised to come round and see us after Dannys party and you didn't. You changed your mind about going out for a birthday meal and I am guessing you don't have any intention of coming to see us at Xmas because you have brought Jensons present round already.

So your dad can get better, can you please let us know what it is you want to happen or what you want from us?

(Sorry for the long message but it seems to be the only way to communicate what we really want to say)
X

I'm going to leave this site instead because I haven't really had any positive feedback. My experience doesn't seem extreme enough. It seems like I should put up and shut up coz that's what a teenager does so I've just got to deal with it. Regardless of the anxiety & stress it's causing everyone in my family. I'm being made out to be the bad one and all i have ever done is try to help everyone.
Coming on here to read negative comments doesn't help. Thought were we're all in the same boat - step parents !