Sgrandkids living in filth!
Hi I am new to forum so not sure of all the abreviations yet. Lots of issues with skids for last 10 years but this is the most important at this time. I have 2 sgrands, boy 6 and girl almost 4. My SD and SIL are 2 idiots and believe that letting their children do everything for themselves is teaching them to be independent, so they do very little if anything for these children! Their house is a filthy mess from animals urinating and pooping and vomiting all over the house, to just stuff everywhere. The house was a brand new home, 7 years ago. The sgrands sleep in sleeping bags so they never have a fresh made bed. I don't even want to go over there for a visit and I surely will not eat anything over there although they never even offer me anything. The place smells, the sgrands smell. There are ants and fleas infested in the carpeting. I have seen piles of dog poop left in one of the upstairs rooms, plus you can't even walk in the back yard because of the dog poop everywhere. All their clothes smell like dog pee. The blankets, their stuffed animals, any bag they bring to my house smells like dog urine. Everything thing is in disarray. All their clothes dirty or clean are all over the floor. Toys and parts for toys are never together, so when they want to play with something they can't find the parts, so they just roll around on the stinky floor and get fleas. My sgrandson was picking off the flea poop off the cat and said it was fun,while his parents are looking at their phones. My 4 year old sgrandaughter can't even talk in sentences yet because no one pays any attention to her. I could keep going but I think you got it. I don't know what to do and my husband pretends nothing's wrong. Oh one more thing both these children were not potty trained until they were 3 and wipe (or try to wipe) themselves so their is always a mess in the bathroom. Never wash hands either. I'm just the crazy sbadgranny that insists on hand washing.
There is nothing you can do
There is nothing you can do about how they live at their house, short of an anonymous call to CPS.
Personally, I would not want them or their things in my home at all, bringing fleas and animal urine and feces with them.
What's wrong with your husband?
Pretty standard stuff.
Pretty standard stuff. Generations of children being raised as feral pets. And you can't care more than the bioparents/biograndparents, either.
I say leave it be. If it's
I say leave it be. If it's ok with them, and it's OK with their grandfather, then there isn't anything you can do. Additionally, anything you DO do will be scorned.
The older one is in school. If it gets bad enough, school will call.
Or, shut up and silently report them to CPS or the police. But right now, you would be suspect #1.
Knowing I made the call would
Knowing I made the call would be easy to figure out due to the fact that my husband and I are the only family members living nearby, same state. They have no friends that visit their home more than once. I don't know what to do, I don't want them here and I dont want to go there. And I don't know what is wrong with my husband??? He doesn't think it is our place to bring up this issue? We have been married 10 years and has never really talked about how these skids were raised. Hates his ex and never wants to talk about her either. So I have no insight to how these aliens evolved. My sd and I have never really had a conversation. You give her a compliment she says thanks and that's it. The skids and grandkids come to our home on a Sunday and will just sit there looking at their phones or whispering to each other while their filthy kids that can't speak tear up and throw things around my home. My adult children will not touch anything that they have touched and really don't have any conversation with them. The sd and sil just sit there with their mouths open and look stupid and wait for the food to get done. I'm so uncomfortable in my own home. I would love to be close to my sgrandkids but they smell and are very rude and rough with me. My sgrandson is 6 and will want to play a game but then the sgrandaughter who is 4 will grab the pieces and throw them. There is no talking to her because she doesn't seem to understand. She is 4 yrs old and can't talk and no one seems concerned. She just turned 4 but my kids were talking at 2. Sgrandaughter won't look at you when you talk to her and runs from everyone all the time. We recently went on a beach vacation with the family. My kids and the sd, sil and grandskids. We had a oceanfront condo with anything you could want. These grandskids were up every morning at 6 am and their parents let them run and scream and disturb everyone else's sleep. Finally as my husband and I were getting up at around 9:30 sd would then take the grandskids to the beach or pool. So by the time I got down to the pool lets say 10:30 the grandskids would be needing their naps. (6 and 4 on vacation). Couldn't do anything with me. I'm too late!! Slept to late that's what my sgrandson told me! Wonder where he heard that? So long story short Pappa pays for a nice Labor Holiday which, we didn't get any rest, couldn't do anything with our grandchildren because they were up at the crack of dawn and then had to take a nap at noon and than be in bed for the night at 7pm, so the lazy idiots didn't have to do anything with their kids. Worst vacation in my life and the sd never even said more than 2 words to me the whole time. Couldn't wait for them to leave. My husband says that not everyone is like me and I can't make his daughter be like me and want to talk to me but that doesn't mean she doesn't like me. Could of fooled me, she treats me like shit and always has. 10 years of rudeness to me and my family. I would like to do more to save these poor innocent children but I can't stand their parents or the way they're raising them.
If the smell is strong
If the smell is strong outside the home from the dog poop, a 'neighbor' could complain to the city/county health department.
What is wrong with these
What is wrong with these people that don't realize that they are living in filth! Both my SD and SIL have jobs but dress the kids in second hand clothes and shoes. Everything the sgrands wear is already been worn by someone else and never is washed before they wear it. Can you imagine not washing clothes first before letting your child wear them. Even when my SD potty trained my sgrandaughter
she made her wear her brothers underwear. So you have a little girl wearing boys underwear. I would buy clothing to have at our house but they would take it home and I would never see it again. My SD,SIL and their kids didnt appreciate anything. They would just take, like it was expected. My SD would die before she would thank me. I just wish they would clean up their house and yard and give the sgrands a better life. The thing is how are those sgrands suppose to ever have a normal childhood, with friends coming over when everything smells and is infested with bugs, urine and feces. I wish I could make the call but I'm too afraid. Jaspercat31 why the police and not CPS?
They effect my life everyday.
They effect my life everyday. I'm obsessed with it. It consumes my mind and it makes me so mad at myself. I have been saying that I need to let it go for years now. But SD always gets under my skin. I'm like you, when the sgrands arrive I have to wash everything. I even wash their stuffed animals because they smell like urine. I ask myself the same questions about why I'm the only one who sees this? SD's mother and SIL's family live in another state. But they do come to visit at least once a year but no one would ever say anything to my SD because she is such a witch. Her in laws visited this past summer and SD didn't even have sheets on the bed for them. She totally ignores them also. My DH doesn't want to acknowledge any of this, thinks it is none of our business, while his grandchildren live in squalor. The other thing is SD is sneaky and I don't trust her. I know she talks behind my back and does things deliberately to see my reaction. You ask her a question and you can never get a answer like a normal person. Picture this: we are on vacation with them and my son's and their girlfriends and I ask SD what time are they planning on going out to eat, being that we are all trying to go together and the witch looks at me and says "dinner time". Ok am I an idiot but what does that mean? That's what it is like any time you ask SD a question. Guess what, they went to eat by themselves with their kids and missed out on daddy paying the bill. But my kids ate for free $itch!!!
I've just had it. She is a disgusting, filthy, rude witch but thinks she is better than me and is always trying to make me feel stupid. Why should I even be nice to her or her family???
Oh something else all you ladies who like Mary Kay cosmetics. I guess she got invited to someone's party and decided that she would like to sell it and approaches me about having a party for her. She said and I quote " don't worry it is easy to use people and it will be fun and worth it just to see your friends without their makeup". Got to be proud of that!! And guess who pays full price with tax for any Mary Kay products? Me, the wonderful step mother! After the first time SD did that to me, I now buy from Amazon.
Call CPS and get these kids
Call CPS and get these kids removed from the presence and custody of their toxic parents. No tolerance for these toxic breeders. Save these kids from losing the parent lottery. Just because they lost the parent lottery does not mean that they have to be left in place to be the victims of their shallow and polluted gene pool.
Gosh that sounds like my SD
Gosh that sounds like my SD and her family. They've had two new houses now that they trashed. I don't know if they have no self respect or what the problem is. The only thing different is there isn't animal feces or fleas in the house...at least that I'm aware of as we live several states away. I visited once with DH and will never go again. Floors are nasty, towels in the bathroom haven't been changed in months, kitchen was filthy. We stayed in a hotel as I could never stay there. They're lazy and have their faces in their phones all the time. Cartoons on constantly and kids have serious issues. Both had speech problems (oldest got help at school thank goodness) and behavior problems. I have no clue why they had children. They seem like nothing but a bother to them. But there is literally nothing you can do other than when you have the kids (after a bath first and all clothes go through the washer!) try to be a good influence and show them love. You and your DH are probably the only stable thing in their innocent lives. But don't sacrifice your sanity. Trust me, mine get under my skin completely. But I've had to try and let go and not be obsessed with it. It's not helpful for me and that's what you need to tell yourself. Get those thoughts under control. Do what you can and then mentally drop the rest. Put your mind on what's good for you!