Some may remember my earlier tells of SD13, I have never seen a child so nasty, disrespectful and rude. I have 3 children of my own, and never did they speak to me or do the things that SD13 does to me. I am at my wit ends and really have gotten to a point of my temper getting the best of me. I had to leave the house and go for a drive the other day because I couldn't catch my breath and I was afraid that if I stayed and she popped of in the smallest way I would have beat her behind.

I have disengaged as much as I can, because DH and I have SD13 full time, her BM has not been in her life for the past 3 years. The past two months have been hell here at our house. She smarts off any chance she gets, if I have to correct her, she will smart off and try to argue with me that she is not doing that, many times while doing it? I have never met a child that is so mean and hateful to their very core. I just do not know how to cope with it anymore, I really don't.

I am strict, and I know this. I have tried to have the whatever attitude when SD13 gets in trouble at school, or a parent of another child calls because she is bulling her child, or when I find used tampons all in her room. I have tried, but I cannot have the oh well attitude that you are suppose to have when being disengaged.

Last night it all hit the fan, I was standing in Dh and I's bedroom doorway talking to him, SD13 just walks right in, I had to quickly move out of the way or she would have bumped into me. She goes in the room and just stands there. I tell her that she could have said excuse me and waited for me to move, instead of I am sorry. I get a hateful look that to me says, And what or you gonna do about it? I look at DH and say, see this is what I have to put up with everyday, all day. I leave the room, he starts the 4 hour talk with her that does absolutely no good, it is a waste of time. He calls me in there and starts to tell me that she doesn't try with me because she feels that it would do no good. I laugh, I tell him in front of her that I am not playing this little game. I do not care if she has an excuse to give you, I do not care how she feels at this point, all I care about is her knowing her place and that is that she is a child and that I am the adult, period. She them tells him see, it does no good. I blew up. I told DH that if this is how it is, and that I will have 5 more years of this, then count me out. I told him to do his damn job and quit wasting everyone's time, these talks are bs and that she needs her butt tore up. Until then nothing is going to change.

He later comes to talk with me, and tells me that he feels like I was very harsh. I told SD that I was done, I told her not to ask me for a damn thing, do not look at me, do not speak to me. I told her that I did not have to do a damn thing for her, and because she hates me so much and disrespects me so much, I will not. She shrugs her shoulders to let me know she didn't care. DH hasn't a clue. I have tried to talk with him about her, I have tried to tell him when she was 6 and stealing things and being hateful then that 3 hour talks was not going to cut it. I told him that with girls it only gets worse, however disrespectful a little girl is at 8 years old, double it when the hit 14. Hell I told him just her coming in the room was disrespect, we were talking and she feels the need to barge in to listen? Not her place, she is a child.

I know this is long and a huge rant, but I am at a point that I could snap. She doesn't see her mom anymore because she bowed up to her and they had it out. Her mother beat the tar out of her, she was black and blue when she got back here. Of course, SD13 said that she didn't do anything and that her mom just went crazy, but her mom sent a picture of her bruises too. I didn't buy that little story. I believe she did jump on her mother, her mother does drugs and weighs 90 lbs soaking wet, SD 13 is twice her size. I fear that she will try it with me, and God help her if she does. I don't have that motherly love with her, and sadly never will. Who could love a child that threatens to kill you in letters. Even last night she told her dad that she did not like me and was disrespectful because she didn't care. He goes into fix it mode and there is no fixing it, because I feel the same way. I do not like her and do not care.

I think she needs serious help mentally. I do not understand the things she does, some very nasty. Last month I found glasses and water bottles in her room that had pee in them, she was peeing in a cup and storing it in a water bottle? I don't understand it, to me that is way out there. And it also makes me wonder what she was planning on doing with it....She will change her tampons in her room, it stunk so bad that even with her door closed it was unbearable to walk down the hallway. It was about 15 of them everywhere, in her drawers, under the bed, behind her nightstand. Nasty. Oh and that was my fault too, btw when DH jumped her butt over it, she told him that I didn't tell her that she had to do that in the bathroom.

Oh just don't know....sorry for this being long....I will quit no because I could go on for days about the things she does.