Future step child the make or break?

Forums:

My boyfriend & I have a wonderful relationship! I have no children & he has a 7 year old daughter... He sees her about 2-3times a week including the occasional sleepover.. (We do not live together).. Initially things were great, he did warn me that he spoils her a bit but I think at this point it's excessive & it's making me rethink our entire relationship. He tells me that sometimes he feels like more of a friend to her instead of a dad & that he doesn't want the little bit of time that they do spend together for her to be upset but she's constantly upset only if she doesn't get her way. EX. We went out to play bowling, she was losing and had a fit, he told her that the scores were wrong to avoid a crisis... We went out for ice cream- she chose her flavor & toppings & then after a few spoonfuls, decided she no longer liked it & CRIED when dad didn't let her get another one (& I'm pretty sure that was only for the death glare that I gave him) although he said no to the ice cream, the entire time he was giving her kisses & saying sorry which made me so annoyed.. I feel like he needs to be firm with his decisions & stick by them & let her "self soothe". I think she's too old for this behavior..
I can't help but to think what's going to happen when she gets older & doesn't get her way? We've spoken about having children of our own but if he won't grow a back bone, I will have no choice but to walk away.. I will not allow my own child to be spoiled and wrapped around his finger.. There needs to be discipline..
I want to think that things will get better as she gets older but I truly don't know..
Oh & another thing, I've seen her a handful of times but I'm still just "daddy's friend"..
Any advice or comments are much appreciated!
- Future step mom?

I tell him that all the time.

I tell him that all the time. I ask him what's going to happen when she's a teenager and the cuddles/ presents/ etc. arent going to cut it anymore?? Unfortunately she's the first grandchild and also has her grandparents and uncles wrapped around her finger... Does anyone realize they are making her into a shitty little human? it's almost like they don't really care.. I know he sees my point of view and he understands my mentality when it comes to parenting.. he says he's going to try different things but I can see the internal struggle within him when it comes down to the moment .. I just don't know.

Guilt and pressure are a

Guilt and pressure are a killer. It's actually funny because he knew he was spoiling her but I told him "I know exactly why you're doing this... guilt" & his whole face changed to -oh SHT, you're right" so mind you he didn't even know he was doing this & he said I just don't know how to stop. I totally get that it would be hard to start evolving and putting discipline in place. I don't want him to be mean to her just stern. I give him my little tidbits on parenting here and there because I KNOW it will benefit her in the long run which will of course benefit him as well.
She is not the issue, it's him & her behavior as a result of him. We go out, have fun.. She's a sweet & funny little girl except when she doesn't get her way. Then it's so awkward.
You are totally right. I never really sat down to consider once we have our own children & she has to come into our home, what's going to happen then.. When my kids see daddy treats her a little differently.. yikes!
I know that her mother is in another relationship and the man lives with them, I'm curious as to their dynamic and how this guy parents but I don't have any contact with her.
Decisions, decisions..!

Garfield the Cat used to say,

Garfield the Cat used to say, "I'm easy to get along with when things go my way."
Of course she's sweet-she's goes to Disney Land 2-3 times a week! I'd be in a good mood too.
You are much more self aware than a lot of ladies that come through here. Definitely more self aware then I was. I have learned that the greatest gift you can give a child doesn't come from any store. The greatest gift is raising them in a way that prepares them for a healthy and successful life.
Just remind yourself it's not your circus and not your monkey. Personally, I'd skip the circus and wave bye bye as it leaves town.

Then I apply exactly the same effed up thinking to absolve him of blame, just as he does with the skids.

Thank you. I've had a much needed wake up call.