Spoilt Adult Step Daughter
My partner and i have been living together for two years, I have two adult children who do not live at home and he has a daghter who also lives else where.
Unfortnatley my SD at 27 with her own property and a good job is a Daddys girl, we have got on well in the past and she gets on great with my children to the point that they socialise together. Recentley she has had a few financeal problems and has just come to stay with us, with her dog too!!, her dad said its just for a week but my daughter has told me it is for the whole month. I am really angry and feel that neither my Step daughter or her father have been honest with me, he will not say anything to her or ask her to confirm how long she is staying, her dog is a nusience but again he said"shes sensitive about any issues with the dog" . He has always bailed her out, even to the extent that he sold his property so she could purchase her flat and we have to rent!!
He even took her for a weeks holiday just the two of them to Barbados when we had just got together, they are always also messaging each other on their mobiles.
It really really gets on my nerves, its great he's a good dad BUT its just to much and im fed up with it. My SD also says she doesnt get on great with her mum, i think its more a fact that her mum wont take her nonsense.
I dont get this from my kids and am not prepared to take it from his, although i love him very much and we knew each other many years ago and i always hoped we would get together one day, i am seriously considering telling him i cant do it.
I really need some advise.
I know your right and i
I know your right and i should tell her that the week is up and to go, but i dont know how to approach it as i just know she will get offended and i dont know what reaction i will get from my partner, if any as he seems to dig his head in the sand.
oh no is there more than one
:O oh no is there more than one like him
. His last partner told him that his daughter walks all over him and he said she can stamp on my head for all i care shes my daughter....i feel like stamping on his head!!!.
I feel bad because when my daughter was ill a couple of months back she asked if she could stay as she really didnt feel up to being on her own so sick so she stayed for ten days and he was really kind and not put out like i am now at all and i just feel like im being a bitch.
(No subject)
:?
Vicky, your daughter staying
Vicky, your daughter staying for 10 days because she was ill is not the same scenario you have with your SD. Your SD is inconsiderate and her financial problems should not be your problem. If she is working she needs to have an exit plan within 1 month! I wouldn't even allow 1 month but I am trying to advise a compromise in your situation.
Does this sound reasonable to you? If so, put a plan in place and speak with DH first to confirm he will back you and let her know.
Hi 20YearsAsStep-mom, Thank
Hi 20YearsAsStep-mom,
Thank you for your reply, i have spoken to DH and explained that i feel SD is being selfish and inconsiderate he said he will sort it, i also explained that its not just the current situation its the whole package and he needs to man up and although he can and will be there for his daughter he is doing her no favors buy letting her manipulate him and i feel as if i am in a triangle relationship. I also told him i do not expect him to choose SD over me but if he continues to let her rule his and now my life i will have to walk away.
He was very upset and said he did not want to loose me and understood what i was saying. I just have to wait and see what the outcome this week will be. I never though i would have problems with an adult SD i thought as we are all adults that's how we would all behave, how wrong was i.
Hey Vicky, My oldest SD will
Hey Vicky, My oldest SD will be 40 this year and she still acts like an entitled brat most of the time. They never grow up if daddy doesn't encourage adult behaviour instead of childish games.
I could NOT tolerate either of my SD's living in my house at this stage - that would be a deal breaker after all these years.