any advice
My step daughter has tons of potential...yet she is going down a dangerous path. Yes when we feel the need we go through her room. Diary included. If it does not contain something that seems to be dangerous to her we dont initiate any topic related to her. But i read that she cant wait to have a boyfriend...mind you she is 14. So that she can be loved the right way. She is back in counciling. Its been a rocky road the last 4 yrs. She has always been very coddled by her paternal grandparents and her mother. I try to help her become her own person but try teaching her to respect herself and others in the process is difficult. Shes very disrespectful to her mother and her father and especially to her moms bf who has been there since she was 6. Im the blame for everything it seems. A couple weeks ago we had an amazing weekend. Baked homemade cookies watched movies but when she asked to watch anither one we said its late and we need to be up early for church so not tonight. We wake up at 330 in the morning to the sound of my husbands ex in our home. My step daughter called her mom to come get her. Didnt try to wake us before hand. Her mom lives 45 min away. She wasnt in any danger. She was just throwing a fit because she didnt get her way. How can i possibly help without over stepping the boundaries?
Your DH and BM need to work
Your DH and BM need to work this out!
When a child calls in the middle of the night, BM needs to call DH and get the real scoop on what is happening.
If they can't be on the same page and BM is going to continue to come to YOUR house whenever SD calls, then SD can't be there anymore.
This will escalate into SD making worse and worse claims against you and it will get very bad.
That is the same conclusion
That is the same conclusion i've come to also. We want her here as often as we van have her here. But she is trying to get out of coming here this weekend which wont happen but we want to show her that yes lying on us does have consequences but you are loved and we will continue as a family. Its hard for her here because its just us and a dog and cat. At her bm she has three younger sisters and its only a 2 bedroom home. Its a huge change of pace for her. And its in the country. So im sure shes bored while we are at home. Shes a veru smart girl but dramatic like most 14 yro girls. Her mom and i get along for yhe most part. Parenting techniques are mich different but shes stated physically thay her daughter is a teen emotionally and mentally shes is not. Hopefully this counciling will help her in some way we are unable to.
What reason did SD give BM
What reason did SD give BM that had BM come?
Shes scared. Which we have
Shes scared. Which we have lived in this home for months and she practically grew up on this farm. Its a family friends family farm.
As far as BM in your home at
As far as BM in your home at 3am? Call the cops and charge her with breaking and entering and trespassing.
14yo's diary saying she can't wait for a boyfriend to "love her the right way"? Perfectly NORMAL 14 yo girl crap. Ignore it. Every 14 yo has thoughts about pure love, sunshine and butterflies, etc. At 14 I thought every boyfriend I had was "THE ONE" and we were getting married. I remember once telling my Mom how this new guy I had just met was SO AWESOME and I was sure he was "IT" and we were going to be "forever". She politely chuckled and said "Probably not, but good luck!". I was 14. Come on. Lighten up on the kid.
We wont call the police...my
We wont call the police...my thing was you know she is perfectly safe so why feed into it more by showing up. I get tha she wants a bf and i understand what you're saying its how its escalated. Thank you though
No her lying and stealing and
No her lying and stealing and posting dirty pics online is going down.a.dangerous path. Wanting a bf so she feels "loved" is setting self up for a harsh reality. I have encouraged her self esteem but there is only so much my husband and i can do alone for two weeks out of the month.
I would of called the police.
I would of called the police. She came in your home uninvited at 3am. That is fu*ked up.
Damn - my DH (a Viet Nam era
Damn - my DH (a Viet Nam era vet) might have shot her. I "pity the fool" who walks into our home uninvited. They will not walk out alive.
Lol i agree.
Lol i agree.
Thank you! Its hapoened
Thank you! Its hapoened oreviously. We didnt see her for seven months. Well i didnt. He did go to see her games and concerts but she and i are doing better this weekend. She is scared to talk about the other weekend because she feats shes in trouble. We arent bringing the last weekend up because she knows what she did was wrong. Lying and saying i yelled at her and lying on her father. Calling for a "rescue". The while thing. It had been a great 2 weekends in a row. Its as if things are going too great then shes gotta do something to make it miserable for herself.
My husband is the one who
My husband is the one who reads it. If shes refusing to express her feelings and acting out of control then yes we will do what is necessary to help her get it out! No she does not have a key my sd let her in.