just curious
my fiancé is beuatifull, over 40 and has an umorgaged house from an inheritance. im younger, poor but with a big heart. she would have me live with her but she has an adult daughter, 25 who still hasn't moved out. out of love I sometimes stay over but the only problem is due to the nature of work ( night shifts ]im at the house during the day. the only problem is the 25 year old step daughter is also in the house during the day. the fiancé works all day. I wont speak to the daughter woman { who I havnt raised up } or be in the same room as them alone as I think its disrespectfull both to me and fiancé. in fact I don't like staying over [wich I rarely do theses days } because I think its wrong being with a non blood relation woman in the same house without my woman being there. I cant underswtand why the 25 year old daughter would want to be in that situation anyway and not move out espeacily by that age. when we get married I would expect my wifes house to be my home and to live there. but I don't think its right for a 25 year old woman daughter to be alone with her mothers non blood related man in her mothers house. Am I right.
No, you are not right. Why
No, you are not right.
Why won't you be in a room with another woman that you didn't raise unless you are having un pure thoughts?
She doesn't want to move out because your FDW hasn't told her to or possibly doesn't want her to move out.
Are you worried that you will
Are you worried that you will act on your desires?
haha!
haha!
The pastor at a church I used
The pastor at a church I used to attend, preached that non-married non-family individuals of the opposite sex should not spend time alone.
I personally don't subscribe to that thought. I'm an adult and can control myself. Now if your worried that the daughter may accuse you of inappropriate actions, you shouldn't be in the home at all alone with her.
You're awesome, Ladyface
You're awesome, Ladyface
based on the comments does
based on the comments does that mean an adult step son/ daughter has more rights to a matrimonial house than a spouse.
You say that you are poor.
You say that you are poor. The house is your girlfriend's house. I believe you and the SD have the same "rights" to house- ZIP.
That has nothing to do with
That has nothing to do with your post, as it is not the matrimonial house and you are not the spouse.
Herein ! You're a poet and
Herein !
You're a poet and didn't knowit !
lol
Backup, it's not the
Backup, it's not the "matrimonial house"
"she would have me live with her but she has an adult daughter, 25 who still hasn't moved out. out of love I sometimes stay over"
I can't tell from your wording if you've actually even been invited to completely move in. At least more than a night here and there for some loving. Has your woman flat out asked you to totally, 100%, move in and live together fulltime?
the fiancé has tried to push
the fiancé has tried to push her out for years but for some creepy reason step woman keeps taking advantage of her sentimentality. but when and if we are married would the daughter be more entitled to the matrimonial home ( to the point of driving out the spouce ).
You ask her that not us. So
You ask her that not us. So before you ask her to marry you and/or if/when she asks you to fully move in you ask your woman. You don't ask her to marry nor do you accept a fulltime move in request until you and she come to an agreement.
If you refuse to move in or marry unless the younger woman has moved out, than all these 'what ifs' are needless. All you can do is stick to your boundary. Your woman will either accept in agreement or tell you to stay single and in your own house.
You can't force your woman to kick the daughter out. Your woman won't give a hoot if a bunch of strangers on the internet say she should or that your right she's wrong. You could get a thousand people to agree with you and it wouldn't mean a thing... unless she agrees with you and has the will and strength to evict the daughter. So far you're losing. Daughter is still living with mother.
How can you be entitled to
How can you be entitled to something that isn't yours???
Why not get married and move into your home? Chances are your girlfriend intends to leave her house to her daughter when she dies. It will never really be your house unless she's crazy enough to add your name to the deed.
The only reason I keep coming
The only reason I keep coming back here is to laugh at the atrocious speeling (oops) SPELLING from goldenlion.
It sounds like the OP and the
It sounds like the OP and the SD are in the same boat financially. There's no way that woman is going to kick her poor daughter out of her home just to make a poor man comfortable.
goldenlion, you might want to
goldenlion, you might want to post on this forum: Step/Bio Father's Den rather than Adult Stepchildren Issue. You will probably get more relatable responses there at Step/Bio Father's Den than here.
The last time you started a
The last time you started a post, telling us that you were, as Stepaside termed, "gorgeous gift to women", I replied and was locked out for unknown and unjustifiable reasons. When you write things like, "I wont speak to the daughter woman { who I havnt raised up } or be in the same room as them alone as I think its disrespectfull both to me and fiancé.", it tells me you are not very familiar with the culture of the 'daughter woman' or her Mother. You need to continue to live in your own place, and just date the Mother until you do. Maybe find someone who has more in common with you.
I used to work with a 'religious' man who had a similar view of women. He refused to be alone in a company car with me, (a divorced woman) so we could attend a meeting. I will not repeat what I said to him or I will definitely be locked out again!
I agree Mr. Lion, I would not
I agree Mr. Lion, I would not want to have to spend all day alone in the home with my ss30 who is 13 years younger than me (but not at all attractive). This happened a few times when DH and I first married, ss30 was unemployed trying to move back in with dh. I was in a college but on a break. I had to slam my foot down hard and tell DH that I married him, not ss and ss had to go or I would.
It seems like your fiance is getting everything she wants; a young handsome bed warmer and she still gets to mother her 25 yr old daughter. Don't think marriage will change the dynamic, if your fiance is insistent on enabling her daughter it will continue.
Your best bet is to try and marry sd25 off to some older rich man in another city.
Good Luck!