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Need to vent!

SummerMomma719's picture

Submitted by SummerMomma719 on Sat, 06/13/2015 - 8:54pm

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So DH found out yesterday that sd9 had a daddy daughter night planned for today. It was a surprise. DH had his motorcycle with him when he went to his mother's. His mom dropped off DH and SD. It was a pawsox game. While he was there SDs MOTHER showed up and joined them. AND then he found out that SHE was the one to bring him back. To his mother's to pick up his bike. How effin messed up is that!! I'm so frustrated.

Lemonlimez's picture

Submitted by Lemonlimez on Sat, 06/13/2015 - 10:50pm

Sounds like SD was either trying to get her parents back together or BM influenced this daddy daughter event so she could just show up, what a coincidence!!

SummerMomma719's picture

Submitted by SummerMomma719 on Sun, 06/14/2015 - 7:17am

Only talk when we go there. Even that not much. Everything seems to ALWAYS be all about sd. Never does she ask about our DD2. Which makes me,bitter . I don't act on it towards her but it bothers me to no end. Sd this and sd that. All the dam time. Like she fogets that she has another grandchild

SummerMomma719's picture

Submitted by SummerMomma719 on Sun, 06/14/2015 - 7:13am

Because that's the kind of dad he is. Granted he was pissed about BM showing but he New sd had been talking about a surprise for daddy that she had been looking forward to. He stayed for sd. Because he New it would upset her if he all of a sudden had to leave.

robin333's picture

Submitted by robin333 on Sun, 06/14/2015 - 12:14am

I wouldn't be frustrated, I'd be pissed! Why wouldn't he call someone for a ride?

What the hell is with MIL?!

notarelative's picture

Submitted by notarelative on Sun, 06/14/2015 - 6:33am

I'll give SD a pass on this. She's nine. She's not old enough to buy the tickets. SD gets a pass. MIL and BM do not. Both knew this was wrong.

MIL had to have a part in this. Otherwise she would have lent him her car.

BM knew what she was doing. The seats were bought in advance (box seats) if she ended up sitting next to him. If they had general admission seats she would have had great difficulty finding them and there most likely would not have been a seat next to them.

MIL and BM had to coordinate. Otherwise MIL would have been sitting, waiting outside of the stadium, at the end of the game.

H needs to speak to his mother. In no way, on no planet, are her actions acceptable.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Sun, 06/14/2015 - 6:39am

Why does dad get a pass? Surely mom didn't super glue his butt to the seat so he that he couldn't leave. She didn't hog tie him and toss him into her car.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Sun, 06/14/2015 - 9:13am

Why did he ride back with BM?

He could have called someone to pick him up, hopped into a cab, used public transportation...

JustAgirl42's picture

Submitted by JustAgirl42 on Sun, 06/14/2015 - 9:21am

That probably wasn't a great idea, but maybe he didn't want to have the discussion in front of his daughter.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Sun, 06/14/2015 - 10:48am

He wouldn't have had to discuss anything with his ex.

DAD: Bye daughter, I'll see you next time.

Then turn around and walk away.

Mom isn't stupid. She would have known darn well why he wasn't hopping in her car.

If the kid isn't used to her parents driving her places together, walking away wouldn't be a problem.

JustAgirl42's picture

Submitted by JustAgirl42 on Sun, 06/14/2015 - 11:12am

True

SummerMomma719's picture

Submitted by SummerMomma719 on Mon, 06/15/2015 - 4:55pm

He was under the impression his mom was picking them up again. He had the bike because his car is in the shop for repairs

katielee's picture

Submitted by katielee on Mon, 06/15/2015 - 9:23am

Oh hell no... I would have thrown such a royal f*cking fit he'd still be quaking in his armor. I would make damn well sure that he never does such a thing again if he ever wants to have a moment of peace.

And as far as Daddyyyy-Daughter dates, I am against them... they only lead to hurt feelings and competition between the wife and the mini-wife. I wrote a blog about this awhile back... http://alittlestepmamadrama.blogspot.com/2013/11/alone-time-with-daddy.html

AllySkoo's picture

Submitted by AllySkoo on Mon, 06/15/2015 - 2:25pm

I'm actually a bit unclear if SD even knew her mom was going to show up. Could that have been ENTIRELY MIL and BM? I will say that, at age 9, SD should be old enough to know that "family outings" like that are inappropriate. Your DH should address that with her in age appropriate language. (ie "Daughter, you know I love you and I love spending time with you. So does your mom. But I'm not really comfortable with the 3 of us going out and doing things together without Summer. It's not respectful to Summer.") I'd leave out anything about not wanting to spend time with BM or not liking her or whatever - you want to leave enough wiggle room for stuff that you DO have to do together, graduations or weddings, or whatever.

I can see that your DH was blindsided, and in all fairness, I'm slow to react when I'm blindsided too. So I wouldn't hold this one instance against him. I WOULD have a conversation with him about how it made you feel (careful not to accuse him, just that YOU were blindsided too and you feel like MIL and BM are trying to push you out), and discuss what he could maybe do if anything similar happens again. Call you to come join them? Pick him up? But the two of you TOGETHER need to brainstorm on ways to show MIL and BM that you guys are a team.

As for MIL, I would be BEYOND pissed! And I'd want to be part of the Come To Jesus conversation DH has with his mom, to SHOW her we're a team.