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SD19 is LAZY

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Submitted by BarkAtTheMoon on Wed, 05/27/2015 - 7:13am

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Teenage Stepchildren

SD19 will be 20 in July. She is book smart, thank goodness, but she is LAZY. DH allows it. This is where our big struggle is.

Yesterday, I texted DH that I was leaving work and he said he TOOK SD19 to the doctor's (pediatrician) because she had a sore throat. All I texted back was "POLLEN." SD19 was told a long time ago by her doc that she should be on an allergy pill every day. She doesn't take them, and now that she's "of age" and mostly away at school, she does her own thing. Not that she would listen to anyone anyway. I mean, the skid had her braces removed in March of 9th grade and had one of those permanent retainers put in behind her lower teeth. It should have come out a year later, in spring 2011. DH has told her before to make an appointment, but four years later, she's a sophomore in college, and that thing is still in her mouth. Anyway, I digress.........

So, I get home and DH is at the pharmacy with Our Lady of the Rodents because she needs antibiotics for a sore throat (POLLEN), not strep though (see, DH?). I go upstairs and the hallway is HOT. AGAIN. Just like on Monday on my day off. I check SD19's old room/trash bin and the blinds are down, curtains closed....but she has done laundry. It's 6pm and it's hot upstairs from the dryer going. I have specifically told DH that the skids are to do their laundry EARLIER in the day so the house isn't a hotbox when we get home from work. W/D are on the top floor in the hallway, outside of the bedrooms.

Then DH and SD19 arrive home, and I hear SD19 whining to Daaaadddeeee, "Can I take a shower?" Um, SD19 has been told before that when she isn't working, to take her showers and do her laundry earlier in the day. This is because SD13 and I need to shower at night as well. I'm surprised SD19 even ASKED, but DH said she could wait until after dinner.

I went downstairs a few minutes later and didn't mention the laundry or the fact that her "old room" hadn't been picked up and all of her clothes moved to the basement bedroom and put away. Trying to stay disengaged while the house is a mess. OK, so maybe she was sick and didn't feel well, but even on a good day she thinks of no one but herself and when I speak up to get some kind of order in the house, I'm the bad guy. I sat at the table with DH and the SDs were there in the kitchen. I said to DH, "So now there's THREE people that need to shower tonight?" I was implying that SD19 had BEEN SITTING ON HER ASS for the past week and that she shouldn't be getting in the shower at 6pm at night. There just isn't time for all of us to shower in the evening. SD19 isn't working because "they haven't called her." It's never SD19's fault....SD13 will go into the bathroom to get ready to shower and then play on her iPod Touch or do whatever it is she does, and the water doesn't come on for 20 minutes. I usually have to tell her to move it. Anyway.....

I ask DH "What are we supposed to do now, draw straws?" He looked at me with a big, cheery grin (FULL of Kool-Aid) in front of SD19 and said, "Well, you figure it out." Biggrin I said right back to him in front of SD19, "No, this needs to come from YOU. It's not that we'll run out of hot water, it's the timing. Three people need to shower." Again, trying to insinuate that Our Lady of the Rodents who sits around all day DOING ZERO should not be getting into the shower at night. She should be done and out of my way, because HEY! She shouldn't even BE in my house now, right? But I covered that in my other blogs.....

SD19 surprisingly offered to shower at the house where she is pet sitting!! Thank goodness! I was ready for her to get her bitch on and slam me like she usually does when she doesn't get her way. I walked right into the lion's den, ready for battle and thank goodness she did the right thing.

I didn't say a word about the dryer running and making the upstairs hot and I didn't say a word about SD19 not having done a thing to clean up her old room. I was quiet and I'm waiting to see what happens. See, it's little things like this that usually disrupt the household, because SD19 is on her own schedule and does her own thing. I have very little time to unwind in the evening, shower and get ready for the alarm to go off at 430am again.

Only 29 days until she leaves for the beach. Should I still stay disengaged and go through a delusional DH the next time this shit starts? Because it will. Should I speak up and teach SD19 that other people need to co-exist with her in the house while she's here? Then she'll cry bloody murder at me and we all know how THAT goes. She is so damn irritating! At least she did the right thing last night with the shower issue, because I wasn't going to have it.

~ Moon

omgstop's picture

Submitted by omgstop on Wed, 05/27/2015 - 2:34pm

I'm stealing the Lady of Rodents for my osd. 16 and THE LAZIEST beast ever. I don't do anything for her anymore, I just let her room stay shitty, the common bathroom too because fuck her for being lazy. I'm not stressing myself over her grossness anymore. When she scrambles to do laundry in the middle of me doing ours, I throw her shit on the floor and continue with what I was doing and just go from there. When she leaves her crap in the living room, I open her bedroom door and toss it in the room without a care as to where it lands. I don't replace anything anymore; not chargers, lost make-up, lighters, (candles), none of it. Keep your nasty rooms closed and enjoy stepping on and over your shit when you enter your cesspool of filth, the rest of the house is fine, thanks.

Sally is right though and your situation is totally different than mine, I don't have to get up nearly that early. I think Sally's suggestions are best...forget raising a fuss over anything her lazy ass does, just work around her selfishness and stupidity.

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Submitted by BarkAtTheMoon on Wed, 05/27/2015 - 7:30am

I like that Sally, thanks!

"We are 4 people living in this house thus each one has to do what's expected from them, if not I will do it for you and I will not listen to complaints."

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Wed, 05/27/2015 - 8:32am

I agree with the others. Time to take charge. Me - I would put it all in a few large boxes in the garage. Put a note on the door telling her that if it is not dealt with in a weeks time, then you are going to put it out for charity next time they pick up. Nothing mean, but you need to take back your house....

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Submitted by CantKeepDoingThis on Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:44am

"They still haven't called"...either SD19 doesn't really want to work, or the place really doesn't want her lazy butt back! BS20 was working within a week of being home! HE initiated contact when he got home. HE kept calling to see if his stuff had gone through yet and asking when he could start work. Of course, his job called him 2 months before school let out to ask if he would even be available for the summer, meaning that they actually wanted him back, as well.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sun, 05/31/2015 - 9:03am

Nothing infuriates me more than the "no one called me" crap or the "First someone else needs to do their crap then I will do mine.".

That shit gets immediate unpleasant consequences when I am around.

I regularly check for broken dialing fingers when someone throws out the "no one called me" or the "you never emailed me back" line. If no one has gotten back to you either pick up your phone and dial or walk your happy ass down to their office and talk to them. Texts don't count and if they make the mistake of saying "but I sent a text" my head will explode.

Send an email, send a text, call, and go see them in person. If all of these steps have not been done then I don't want to hear about it and my response will be to do the things that have not been tried yet.

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Submitted by BarkAtTheMoon on Sun, 05/31/2015 - 2:07pm

So SD19 went to work today and SD13 went to a Pokemon Club thing. The house felt very humid to me and I kept looking under SD19's "old" bedroom door. It looked shady like the curtains were shut, so that was good.

I just went and opened that damn door after hours of being uncomfortable, just like on Memorial Day. Her bedroom light on the ceiling fan was left on. I turned it off as I looked at her windows. The curtains were closed, but......what's that I see? The curtains are on the thin side and I can see that SD19 has left her blinds open. I was pissed! I went to look and see if I could remove the rods and I can't. These don't have the old-style hook at the top where you can remove the rods. The shit is all screwed together. I twist them shut and then accidentally }:) stepped on a tube of self-tanning lotion that was left right in the middle of the floor. "Whoops BOO!" I took a t-shirt and wiped the lotion from where it shot across the carpet and threw the shirt back into the pile of clothes on the floor. I took the splattered tube of lotion and buried it in MY trashcan. Buh-bye! That shit is expensive, isn't it? }:)

I then looked in YSD13's bathroom because OSD19 was in there taking a shower and getting ready for work earlier. Yep. Blinds all the way up and sun blazing in, heating up the upstairs hallway. I called out to DH to come upstairs, please. He was VERY sweet and obliged immediately. He does that when I ask him to "Come here" because he knows something has gone down.

I told him what I had discovered. I told him I had been doing laundry all morning and hanging out in my room, making every excuse for why it was humid upstairs. Just like I did on Memorial Day when I had a day off. I told him I was THIS CLOSE to taking ALL of SD19's shit from her old room, boxing it up and sliding it down to the basement FOR HER. }:) I told him she has no reason to be in there, the old room has everything just thrown on the floor and I was ready to lock the fucking door already. I was very calm as I spoke. DH replied, "Oh no, we don't want to do that, no need for that....." Uh huh, DH. Because then your precious mini-wife who is so absorbed into HERSELF with her head up her ASS will throw a tantrum. She will be 20 in 6 weeks FFS!

I told DH that he had better have a talk with her AGAIN if she was going to continue to use her old room as a landfill. Either that or she can pay the $200 electric bill each month. I already tried to get him to have HER start paying for her cell phone after 6 years of having it for free. That's because SD13 got her first cell this weekend. DH heard me loud and clear. So, I'm being passive-aggressive and I'm also getting ready to box that shit up. This was Strike #2 with the damn blinds and that messy room. We're only 11 days in......

House feels better already with the blinds shut and pulled down from those two rooms.

~ Moon

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Submitted by BarkAtTheMoon on Mon, 06/01/2015 - 7:21pm

I came home today and the blinds and curtains were open in the old bedroom and bathroom again, which means that DH didn't speak with SD19 yet. She got home after we went to bed last night and we both left for work today before she was awake.

So I took two photos of the rooms that were left wide open to the heat and sent them in a group text to both SD19 and DH. "Please leave the curtains and blinds CLOSED when you leave the room. Thanks!"

DH replied immediately and I still haven't heard from SD19. She's back down on campus again. She really needs to get her own apartment next year, year-round.

I saw that SD19 had been doing laundry and I checked the dryer. Her clothes were damp because she always puts the dryer on medium heat. They never dry that way. I put the heat on high and started the dryer. I hope her jeans shrink.

I replied to DH's text with "Next step us I clear out the old room for her and lock the door, like I told you I would do."

SD19 made pasta today. The colander was in the dish drainer and it is filthy and dried now. SD19 can't figure out that the outside of colander and pans need to be cleaned, too. She is messy and I just want to ask her "WHAT the fuck is WRONG with you?!" Only 26 days to go ...

~ Moon

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Submitted by BarkAtTheMoon on Tue, 06/02/2015 - 5:48pm

LOL Sally! I have taught SD13 how. SD19 claims she can do dishes because she works at fast food. Um, NO. SD19 leaves enough water all over the counters to bathe a small elephant in and she doesn't use dish soap to cut through any grease.

I came downstairs this morning and the dirty colander was put away. OH. NO. I pulled it out from the cabinet and it still had the dried pasta crud all over the outside of it. DH had put the colander away! I told myself that I was living with two idiots. Since DH had already left for work, I wrote a note on a kitchen napkin with a red marker.

"Wash the outside Smile Ew! LOL"

I put the colander upside-down in the sink where the skids would notice it when they went to get water, etc., and I left the note on it. Very bold and hard to miss. I passed SD13 down in my neck of the woods as I was coming home from work. I NEVER see her down there and dismissed the car for someone elses. I get home today and SD13 says that SD19 is going to a sleep-over in my hometown, at a friend's. I wonder if the friend's parents are people I went to high school with!

The colander was NOT in the sink when I got home. }:) Only 25 days to go and SD19 isn't even here tonight! I could just dance I feel so good without her around. I hate that I feel this way about her, but she is an irresponsible doofus. I have to keep my home clean.

~ Moon

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Submitted by BarkAtTheMoon on Wed, 06/03/2015 - 8:16am

I mistakenly typed "SD13" above....." I passed SD13 down in my neck of the woods as I was coming home from work." Should have been SD19 driving, but I think you all can figure that out.

SD13 has 150/300 on a major report for English. DH and I received an email from the teacher because SD13 did not hand in the report. I hate that they still get 50% F for an assignment that isn't even turned in. This is an honors class for SD13, she had a low A in it prior to this "50% for nothing" entry. Now her overall grade is a B, at 82%. If the teacher had truly posted a ZERO for NOTHING being turned in, she would have dropped to a C overall. But not in MY county, where everyone gets a gold star!!

DH worked from 7am - 9pm yesterday because the CEOs called meetings at dinnertime. They never keep DH this late but last night they DID. I did not utter a word to SD13 about her missing English report. }:) She can't even figure out when the last day of school is. I swear I have a 7yo at home.

~ Moon