So SD19 vacuumed her old room and then left for a party at 12noon, after she got off work. It's back by school. SD19 isn't even around for DH to hang out with, not like last summer. I wish he would get her an apartment near campus, but he says he can't afford it. Princess can work for her own apartment and use her trust fund towards an apartment while she's still in school. Which, by the way, looks like it will be forever at this rate. SD19 isn't doing bad in college, but......she's only taking 4 courses instead of 5 each semester. She has AP credits from HS, some of which have transferred to college, so that helps with the shortage each semester thus far in her first two years in college. DH let me go onto her student website yesterday and check her grades. Why, you ask.....?

Evidently SD19 got an E-MAIL this week saying that she had lost her position in her sorority due to bad grades. I asked DH if she was the treasurer or secretary or something? She was an event coordinator or something, but now she can't hold that esteemed title because she got two Bs, a C and a D this past spring. FOUR courses isn't that hard to take if you apply yourself. Is it still 120 credits to graduate college or have things changed since the 80s when I went? Each semester was 15 credits, 16 or 17 if you added a lab to a course that was science-related. After 8 semesters you're at 120 and get to walk across that stage. So, SD19 isn't behind in credits because of her AP from HS, BUT for the first time she has five classes on the docket for fall semester. I wonder if she'll apply herself? I don't think she'll be able to handle five classes because she sure can't even handle four. What I wouldn't have given to only have four classes a semester! Life just gave her a small reality check by her getting "demoted" from her position at the sorority. She still belongs, but I sure would be embarrassed. DH said SD19 was upset over this and he commented that it was done via email. I replied that it's the only way teens know how to communicate these days, that or text. No one has the social skills like they used to, or the balls to speak in person. Well, I know there are exceptions but you get my drift. Also, SD19 has changed her major 3 times in two years. She has taken nothing towards her latest major, other than the general ed core classes. She's taking one class towards her major this summer, but nothing in the fall.

Yes, the door to SD19's old room is always closed. ALWAYS. I had to go in a few times last week because she kept leaving the curtains and blinds wide open, and it got very hot upstairs, even with her old bedroom door shut. So, I knew what her room looked and smelled like. SD13 was folding her laundry today and SD19 had put a pair of her undies in to be cleaned with SD13's things. SD13 found the laundered underwear, picked it up with two fingers and put them in SD19's old room. Either SD19 had shit her pants badly or had a run-in with her Aunt Flo. The undies were atrocious! Hand wash that mess before you just throw it in the laundry. Ugh, it never gets clean. These undies were stained on over half of them. How can you not take care of that at nearly 20 years of age? We get to move her bed soon when the basement gets redone. I shudder to think what DH will find on her mattress. Ew.

I went downstairs to the basement for the first time today in a month because it smelled like shit in my house. SD19 has been staying down there since May 20th when she came home from school. I thought maybe it was the HHog or maybe one of the dogs had dropped a load in the basement. I checked the powder room down there that SD19 is supposed to be using. Ring in the toilet, shit on the seat, and......TRASH in my utility sink. The powder room has a utility sink, a regular vanity sink and a toilet. I called up to DH to come downstairs. YSD13 was down there and I asked her if this was her trash in the sink (since she has been famous for doing this before). I didn't think it was YSD13, but I have to treat all three morons I live with equally. I "parented" DH and pointed to an old cheese wrapper from a block of cheese in a large opened ziploc bag, a paper plate and a box of triscuits in the utility sink. I explained to DH as I pointed, "THIS is why you need to walk through the house and make sure both of your kids empty their trash the night before we put the cans at the curb. You have a nearly 20yo who is using the SINK as a garbage can!" DH cleaned everything up and took the trash out to the garage. That's a good DH.

I actually sat in my own living room with DH shortly after, looking at paint samples with him. I looked over into our den at the rocking chair where YSD13 keeps her backpack for school. I walk over and see not one pair of socks, but three pair, a t-shirt and some other article of clothing on the rocking chair. I asked DH to look at the rocking chair from across the room. I called YSD13 up from the basement. She came running up because I had that tone in my voice. I explained to SD13, "The rocking chair is not a clothes hamper for your dirty things. Take all of them upstairs NOW. None of these got washed yesterday when you did your laundry, either. If I ever see anything else on that chair besides your backpack, I'm throwing it out." As SD13 quietly left the room, DH said "Thank you" cheerily to her and she did not answer. I'm sure later on she'll cry to DH how her fee-fees were hurt and that I'm mean and disrespectful. Happens every time. I've seen her stuff on the chair and thrown it out once before already. I didn't tell a soul.

Yes, I think I will box up SD19's old room when she is gone back to school. If DH doesn't like it, then screw it. It's my damn house, too. At least SD19 didn't have college shit dumped all over the basement storage area. That was a BIG relief to see today. This happened last year when we had a puppy in the house. I told DH I was NOT having a repeat of that mess.

~ Moon

Beaccountable, I agree. I've had this talk with DH plenty of times. Both SDs have college funds PLUS trust funds left to them by BM. The trust funds are not available to the SDs until they get a degree and turn 25 years old. No degree? You wait until 30 to get your silver spoon. DH has been using trust money to cover room and board for SD19, as only tuition is covered by the college fund. I have told him until I am blue in the face that the dorm money should go towards an apartment near school so she can be there year-round.

DH worries he won't see his Princess. He may change his mind, though, because she hasn't been around here much this summer. I am hoping that with the sorority sisters, SD19 will ask to get an apartment near campus.

My therapist is urging me to get DH to therapy so we can discuss these matters. The clutter from SD19 and DH is driving me crazy. The non-parenting from DH is driving me crazy. I am still looking for my own place and saving money. I finally cried my eyes out to my therapist yesterday, saying I feared DH would never change. That I KNEW he would never change.

~ Moon

Thanks for the input everyone. I had 37 days to go on May 20th when SD19 arrived. I believe today puts it at 19 days until the beach with batshit crazy Gma. The SDs pick up Gma at the airport on 6/27 and drive right to the beach. They drive back on Sat 7/4, and I suppose they'll drop Gma at an airport hotel. She flies out July 5th.

I will be absent from my house on July 5th because that is the ONE day SD19 has to do laundry from the beach and pack up everything with DH to move back to the dorm for 6 weeks. This is for summer school, during which she'll be working a campus job, too. Then on August 14th, summer school is over and SD19 is home for about 10 days. DH wants to take the SDs to a theme park for a 3-night vacation. Fine by me! SD19 said she wanted to fly to Florida to visit her sorority sister then, too. I actually spoke up to DH in front of SD13 last night and said DH needs to think of SD13 who will be stuck at home all summer. SD19 has a car and freedom and is never around. SD19 can see her sorority sister when school starts at the end of August. DH agreed that this needs to be about SD13 some now.

So, 19 days to go out of my 37 day countdown, and then its just a day here, a week there and poof SD19 is back at school. There was a bank envelope on our kitchen table and I opened it and counted $340 dollars that SD19 had received for pet-sitting. That money had been sitting in her car for a week! DH told her to bring it in the house. I told him to have her lazy ass take it to the bank. Nope, she'll have Daddy do it. I should take it and put it in my account today, tell her I took care of it for her. }:)

~ Moon

It's in my account. }:)

No I'm not kidding.

{{{{{{{---Happy Dance---}}}}}}}