Every time DH brings up SD19 to me, I have to grit my teeth and be very careful about what I say.

DH is finally in same town as me. We went to lunch together, phone rings, it's SD19. Instead of telling her he's busy having lunch with his wife (we lived in separate states for 6 months), he takes the call. I have to sit there and listen to him help SD19 deal with a problem.

Finally he hangs up and starts telling me about the call (I did NOT ask). SD19 went one year to a college of her choice in our home state. After a semester, she wanted to drop out and enter a nursing program. But she went back to the same college for her second semester, then decided she wanted to go to college in same town where she went to high school. Convinced DH this would be better because it was less expensive and is in town where BM lives.

Turns out this college is MORE expensive than the first one AND SD19 is NOT living with BM but living in the dorms with the meal plan, etc., which is also very expensive. DH is not even sure if it's a requirement by the college that SD19 live in the dorms. He just pays whatever SD19 tells him to pay without question.

BM is supposed to be paying 1/3 of SD19's college costs, and I guess she doesn't want to do that. So SD19 is calling DH up to "fix" the problem. Meaning SD19 is trying to get DH to pay BM's share as well. It's an old, time-honored tradition for those two.

Anyway, I told DH that what BM will or will not do is not his problem and is between SD19 and BM. He agreed, but I've seen his texts and I know he's totally overcompensating. In addition to paying 1/3 of college, he is paying for SD19's activities, clothes, and all other miscellaneous expenses he can think of.

I can't WAIT for the day SD19 actually decides to be independent, but I'm thinking that may never happen.