You are here

Who do you consider your family?

alittlepinot's picture

Submitted by alittlepinot on Tue, 04/28/2015 - 2:45pm

Forums: 
General Discussion

DH and I have been trying to blend for a long time. YSD is a problem, she belongs to DH and BM2. Older skids with BM1 are fine.

Do you consider skids to be part of your family? My family "feels" like DH, my bios (not his) and I. When my older skids are here it "feels" like extended family but I still enjoy it. When YSD is here it throws everything off and I feel like we are all strangers living under the same roof.

So who is your family? In what dynamic do you feel most unified?

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Tue, 04/28/2015 - 2:58pm

Me, DH, BS20 and SS16. We are a family unit. SD19 is a non-factor....Will never be considered family as far as I am concerned. DH does mention her when the conversation goes to how many kids we have and it is too correct me when I say two boys. Not my kid, so I don't think about her in that way.

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Tue, 04/28/2015 - 2:58pm

Dup

Snowflake's picture

Submitted by Snowflake on Tue, 04/28/2015 - 3:16pm

I consider family to be me, my dh, our bios, my kids, and DH's bio.

The most unified family we have is DH , myself, and our bios. They are very young, and we do everything together as a family. Vacays, daily life, every weekend together, etc.

Glassslipper's picture

Submitted by Glassslipper on Tue, 04/28/2015 - 3:27pm

My family is DH and myself and our 4 kids (my 2 bios and his 2 bios)
They call each other "brother and sister" we have all been together since they were little Smile

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Tue, 04/28/2015 - 3:49pm

I don't really feel that my SD23 is my family, even though I've been in her life since she was 5. If something happened to my DH, SD and I would probably never see each other again, as I am indifferent to her, for the most part.

hatethewifelife's picture

Submitted by hatethewifelife on Tue, 04/28/2015 - 8:59pm

I feel the same way. My SD's BM is a...well...very choice word there. Fill in the blank. I feel like she's the spawn of Satan. I told my hubby that I like her but I don't love her like I do my own kids, and he accepts that. I've never felt any connection to her and her BM fills her head with a bunch of nonsense about me. I don't push the relationship.

MommyNotMommy's picture

Submitted by MommyNotMommy on Tue, 04/28/2015 - 11:16pm

This is incredibly articulate, and exactly how I feel (except my SD just turned 9, so I'm not scared that you're secretly me, lol).
Thank you!

4ever's picture

Submitted by 4ever on Wed, 04/29/2015 - 6:16pm

"she often feels alien to me"

That's exactly how I feel! I've been her stepmom for 5 years but she's still alien to me somehow. She's not a bad kid she's just not my kind of kid. Does that make sense? We get along pretty good. Except that she's been distant and spied on my phone which is why i found this site but I think thats just puberty. She has a close friend who comes over all the time for years and I love that little girl. I always feel guilty because some part of me feels closer to her friend then to my stepdaughter. There's something about my stepdaughter that always makes me feel like i'm being watched. I bet she feels like i'm an alien too!

WTF...REALLY's picture

Submitted by WTF...REALLY on Tue, 04/28/2015 - 11:03pm

This is a hard one.

My kids are my family along with my mom, sister, brother, thier SOs.

Hubby is my husband. But, I do t feel like a FAMILY with him and my kids.

And HK14..have never felt like she is my family.

I guess I would say that I don't have a "family" with hubby. Sad.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Wed, 04/29/2015 - 12:20am

My family: My bride, DS-22 (Formerly "The Skid"), and me. We have been since my bride and I married the week before DS turned 2yo.

Funny that it took 20+ years to get the paperwork done to officially be "Dad". The cool part is DS FKA "The Skid" is now an official carrier of the Rags family name.

This is the first time even he and my bride have had the same name. Cool stuff.

MelissaAllbright27's picture

Submitted by MelissaAllbright27 on Wed, 04/29/2015 - 12:49am

My skids that are 5 and 2 are like family to me. It's weird, but I'm friends with their BM and they are sweet kids.
My other skids (10 and 11) are basically the spawn of satan. They have a different BM (who is probably Hitler's secret granddaughter). These kids are NOT well behaved and I will never consider them family. I met them for the first time yesterday, lets just say it really didn't go well.

SweetMom's picture

Submitted by SweetMom on Wed, 04/29/2015 - 12:56am

I consider My son, DH, and sd11 my family. sd11 doesn't consider all of us her family. I saw in her room a paper she wrote about her family members that was her BM, her, my DH, her half sister, and she wrote her so called brother which is a boy that the BM keeps, nothing about me or my son which is her step brother.

Monchichi's picture

Submitted by Monchichi on Wed, 04/29/2015 - 1:02am

My family is SO and the girls. I cannot consider Chucky family. He tears our home apart and makes us miserable when he is here.

Mikhaila87's picture

Submitted by Mikhaila87 on Wed, 04/29/2015 - 6:15am

My family is my partner, very soon to be husband, the skids, SS10 and SS7. And all our parents and siblings.

I don't think my OH looks at my step sisters as family But he does my half sister. And his half brother I look at as family.

daddyrob's picture

Submitted by daddyrob on Wed, 04/29/2015 - 7:36am

I consider my SDs as my family, along with my 3 BDs, and my wife. Even though I am disengaged, they are still my family. I do not hate my SDs. Sure, I hate the things they do, I hate the way they act towards me, and I hate the way they treat their mother at times, but I can say the same about my BDs.