Last night was the absolute ugliest it has been for DH and I thus far.

DH brings dinner home for SD13, himself and I. Just as I'm getting a drink from the fridge, SD13 blows her allergy snot-filled nose at the table. Grossed me out to no end, and pissed me off because I have asked her every time she needs to blow her nose to go into the powder room (Where the wild things are...). So, I turned to look at her and gave her a sarcastic "Really?" SD13 left the table and blew her nose again in the powder room. So she KNOWS. There must have been some sort of operator error with the tissue, which she can't use correctly (no, I'm not kidding...), so she went upstairs for about five minutes. DH was engrossed with the sports channel on TV and was watching from the kitchen table, no words spoken by him as to SD13's ill manners at the start of dinner.

SD13 comes back down to the table and in her sweetest little kid voice asks DH, "How soon can I move out?" DH sarcastically joked with her and said, "Tomorrow is fine with me." I chimed in, "Me, too." DH asked her why she wanted to know, still playing with her. SHe mumbled something inaudible to me and started eating. I glared at her and asked, "HOW do you think that makes your father feel to have you even ASK that question?!" Silence from the StinkBug13. "How do you think it makes ME feel, or are you just thinking about yourself right now?!" I laid into her. She was like a deer in the headlights. She made some exaggerated body gesture with her hands that said "I don't know," so I did it right back to her, glaring right at her. DH continued to watch sports and didn't say a word. I told SD13 that she could take her dinner upstairs and eat there if she wanted to continue having an attitude at the table. DH had been home for ten minutes, FFS.

SD13 was clearly pissed and acting out because of the "Really?" I gave her when she blew her head full of snot and air at my table. So when I reprimand her to teach her right from wrong, or speak with a firm tone, which is only about once a week, she runs off to DH and asks why I HATE her! She is uber-sensitive and plays the "poor me" game with DH, just like SD19 does. I told DH later that what I did at that table was called parenting. SD19 and SD13 are so NOT used to it that when I deliver a firm tone, they get all up in arms and say no one likes them! Over their frikkin poor manners or lack of being responsible and doing what they're tld to do. SD19 threw this same kind of fit, but much worse, when we simply asked her to get the trash out of her room last January! The skids are idiots!

After dinner DH caught me as I was walking to go back upstairs. I figured he would give me shit about correcting SD13's behavior and attitude, but he didn't. Good thing. Instead, DH wanted to talk about the hedgehog. I got nervous, because I knew I was going to stand my ground again. SD19 had called right when we sat down to eat, asking about if she should sign up for summer housing. DH needed to call her back, so he asked me what we were going to do. I don't know why in hell he needed MY permission to have SD19 stay OUT of my house for most of the summer, but whatever. I told him I had no problem with her being in the dorms after July 4th. Then I said it.

"We still have the issue of the 5 weeks or so from May 20th until the end of June when she goes to the beach."

DH stared at me in disbelief. I repeated my mantra from the past five months, out loud. "That hedgehog is not coming into my home." DH was dumbfounded. I added that he and SD19 have had plenty of time to figure something out. I also said that it was perfectly CLEAR to him that I didn't want the thing in my home. Things got ugly very fast. DH argued with me with fire in his eyes like I've never seen. He kept accusing me of not wanting SD19 in my home. I asked when he was going to have her pay any consequences for her actions? She always gets enabled by him. DH thought this dorm thing would solve the problem for most of the summer. I asked him what about the winter holidays and next summer? What then?

We argued and I cried a little, but stood my ground on this entire thing. I told DH he had no right to agree to something behind my back in my home without me knowing about it! Then I asked him how long would he have been SILENT on the entire hedgehod purchase if I had never followed up and asked about it? He was pissed but admitted that he probably never would have said anything, and agreed that he would have just let SD19 walk in here in May, bringing that thing with her!

Sally, I gave him the crazy evil eye shit for a good ten seconds. I didn't flinch. DH couldn't believe how stoic I was being about this entire thing, I could see the surprise written all over his face, and I. Didn't. Back. Down. One. Bit.

Then DH calls SD19 back and tells her to go ahead and sign up for summer housing. Here was the best part......Then DH told SD19 she would have to do something with the hedgehog for the five weeks that she's home. I could hear her start bargaining with him, and going through her entire schedule out loud, saying she would only need someone to feed it this weekend and that weekend, etc. DH said ok, that's fine, but it needs to BE SOMEWHERE ELSE and not at home.

Silence from SD19, then the machine-gun firing of questions, all the while she is trying to sound mature and matter-of-fact. Master manipulating bitch. SD!( asked, "Can you tell me WHY? I just want to know WHY I can't bring it home? You told me Yes before you told me No!"

DH quickly said he had to go and hung up on her, storming out to our garage, slamming the door behind him. I think he must have kicked the wooden steps in the garage about ten times out of anger and frustration, so hard I thought he probably f'ed up his foot pretty good. DH got in his car and left, drove to the shopping center and stayed there. I tracked him on Google+. I was scared. I was nervous. He always says he would never hit me, and now in hindsight, I still believe him, but I was scared last night. At least he knew well enough to get out of the house and cool off some.

DH returned about a half hour later, and I was locked in my bathroom, all four dogs in there with me, lol. They like to follow me around. I was trying to post on my iPad and it didn't work. DH had calmed down some and we talked. I told him I was curious about SD19 asking "WHY?" over and over again. He still has never had the balls to tell his DD19 how messy she is and how her attitude and track record have only set her back in this house. I told him I was going to therapy today and he said he was going to call the SDs' therapist to get a meeting for everyone. He wants to work on things and is being super sweet today. I have read it all here before, how it doesn't last. I told him SD19 needed to lose the attitude and anger and our house would be a home. I told him how she failed to remember that she was told No before she worked on DH to get him to agree to the HHog.

I told him she needed to be held accountable for her actions, because she KNOWS better. It just always seems to work out in her favor. DH said he would have a talk with her and set rule and make her do chores (new one!) this summer. I said we should ALL sit togther to figure out how to tackle this household together because I'm not doing it anymore.

My therapist had a family emergency and cancelled for today. I will meet him later this week. Sorry for the long post, but I really needed to vent about last night. It was UGLY.

~ Moon