Now I fully appreciate that there are things that DH and BM should be able to experience with SS and make those memories with him. Especially milestone things. I was devastated when I was the only one home when SS rode his bike without training wheels for the first time. DH was on his way home from worked and called me to ask me to take the training wheels off SS’s bike so they could work on that when he got home (he was about 15 mins away) So I did and got SS all ready with his helmet and pads. I NEVER dreamed in a million years he would get on that bike and just take off without training wheels for the very first time. Luckily I moved fast enough and got the end of it on video. DH was obviously disappointed he missed it but in no way mad at me. Other than that moment, I’ve made sure to keep my distance from important things like so that I’m not stepping on anyone’s toes, etc.

Anyways, for the past six months, to a year, BM has been very territorial over activities like seeing movies at the theater, going sledding, carving pumpkins, etc. and telling DH that he cannot do certain things with SS because she wants to. Now if she was saying she didn’t want ME to do those things with him, I would get it. I’m not his mom and she should be able to have those special things with him. However, I really don’t believe that rule should apply to DH. He’s SS’s father just as much as BM is his mother, so why does she feel like it’s ok to deny him these things. Not to mention he is 6. It’s not like the things listed above are first times for him.

Last winter BM had a meltdown (in public) because DH took SS to see the LEGO Movie. She freaked out saying she wanted to take him and it wasn't fair...so on and so on. She never once mentioned to DH that she wanted to take him to see that and SS and DH spend hours playing LEGOs together, so I figured it was pretty obvious that he would take him. Also he’s a kid, it’s not like he wouldn't enjoy going again. After that DH told BM if there was something specific she wanted to do with SS, to let him know. Ever since that conversation, she pretty much “claims” every kids move that comes out. Granted DH and I are not really movie theater people we’d rather wait for it to come out at the Red Box or Netflix, so it’s never really caused much of an issue, but I think what annoys me, is she claims these movies and then never takes him to see them but will get mad if we then watch it at home once it’s on DVD. So we cannot win. As for other activities, DH tells her pretty much to take a hike. If the opportunity presents itself to do an activity with him, we aren't going to avoid it just because she may or may not get around to taking him. Now it would be different if she told DH “On X date we are going to do Y” then DH would totally respect that. It’s not a competition. I just feel like she expects us to sit in a dark corner every time SS is with us and not do anything fun, just so she doesn't feel slighted. Just to clarify, DH and I don’t go out and do SUPER FUN activities every weekend. So it’s not like we never give her the opportunity to do fun things with him. DH and I both work full time and so most weekends we are running around like crazy trying to get things done, so typically when we have some down time as a family, we stay at home and relax. I would say the only thing we do frequently is go to the free zoo, it’s small and all areas can be covered in only a few hours (did I mention it’s free ) and that’s typically a DH and SS activity and one they have been doing together for years.

Anyways, this all has a point.

SS has a field trip coming up and chaperons are needed. When the flyer came home SS was very excited and asked if DH would come (they are going to a zoo – and that’s their little tradition). Of course DH really wanted to go, but he was polite and said we should probably ask your mom if she would like to go first. Turns out the date of the field trip falls in the middle of the two week vacation she’s going on. So her response “No I can’t go and I forbid you to go, if I can’t be there than neither can you”……..WHAT?!?!?!!?! You forbid him??? WTH

In the past DH has been a hot head and loses his temper with BM very quickly, but he’s really been trying to work on that the past year because he learned that yelling at her gets him nowhere. He tried to calm her down and reason with her and no luck,. He finally gave up and said screw it, he would deal with the fall out because he’s not going to punish SS because she’s being a little unreasonable. The hard part with that is BM does not keep it between her and DH, she uses SS as a pawn in her game of crazy. She lays on the guilt, making SS feel bad. Or tells SS that DH is hurting her feelings and then SS accuses DH of the same. It’s not fair and I frankly don’t get it. Even when given the opportunity to participate in his school activities, she doesn’t. She only works 4 hours a week and passes every opportunity to volunteer in his classroom, etc. but tells DH he can’t do those things. If she’s so concerned about being the “better parent” (whatever that means to her) then when SS asks you to do something, DO IT!!!!! But don’t deny the other parent when you turn it down or aren’t able to do it. I swear I will never understand what goes on in her head.