I don’t really know where to start without making this blog a book, but I know you guys always have good advice to me and it’s one of the reasons I love this site so much.

Basically DH and I have been fighting almost weekly for the last few months. It’s mainly bc of BM and MIL’s new found love for each other. MIL totally flipped on me, I don’t talk to her anymore, there was a bunch of drama, at any rate, DH was supposed to have a talk w his mother and w BM about their treatment of me and things they had said about me, disrespecting him, our marriage, accusing me of being jealous of the skids, all kinds of things. He’s never done it. He’s never defended me to either of them. So every week it’s a fight on how I keep feeling more and more neglected and he keeps on doing nothing.

I got home from work on Wed night and all his clothes were gone. I never thought I’d be writing that. He left me. I’m in shock. He’s staying with his parents. We are talking and we saw each other and talked for a while last night. Basically he said that I’ve been doing everything, he feels like he’s doing nothing, he feels worthless, that he feels dead inside and its nothing that I’ve done, but that he needed to be away from me for a while so he can fix himself. That he didn’t feel like being around anyone really, not me, not the kids (I had noticed he was getting more snappy with them), just like he’s blank.

Now in the midst of all this going on, we had filed for his child support to be reduced due to him not working (6 months now and unemployment is exhausted) and due to the fact he has way more overnights w/the skids since the order was last entered. He was supposed to have court today and then the cs worker called my attorney (I’m a paralegal and of course we are doing all his legal work) and said BM has decided to suspend his child support order. Now with everything going on my first thought was he’s leaving me for her. He assures me this isn’t the case and I really trust and believe him. He called and asked her WTF was up w/that and she said she’s just tired of fighting w/him over it and that she didn’t want to see him go to jail or court over it anymore.

I’ve been reading all day today about depression. It seems to me he has it. I asked him if he wanted me to make him an appt somewhere and he said he wanted to think on it. But he has a lot of the signs. I feel so helpless, I don’t know why I didn’t see any of this. I’m supposed to be his best friend and the person he confides in and I just figured bc we were fighting is why he left when actually it’s a lot more than that. How do I help him without pushing him farther away? He says he’s not done with our marriage and that he wants to be home but he just can’t be right now and doesn’t know how long this will take him to figure himself out. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m breaking down myself because one of the most important people in my life isn’t with me. I’m so lost……..