Ah, the teenage tone. It's the perfect time to start reminding them that very soon they will be legal adults, and legal adults only get to stay at your home at your PLEASURE. So knock it off, dickhead.

I feel for you...and this happened to me too with SD 19....who had no intention of wanting to leave home too (my place).....her dad did nothing to force the hand to get a FT job and move out as I think he enjoyed having her here with him. I worked FT and hated coming home to find her asleep on the couch and nothing done for the day. She treated my home like a motel (including agisting her 3 horses fully paid for with full services related to riding and caring for her horses)

I mean why would she leave home? She had everything laid on ....free....at her beck and call. The only way to get them out is to make things uncomfortable so they WANT to move out and because my SO at the time didn't want to make his princess uncomfortable....so I ended up asking them all to move out.

I had to draw my line in the sand.

We have reconciled but with firm boundaries now. I lived and learnt and will never allow that to happen again.

I said to my SO at the time that I hope SD19 (at the time) keeps you warm at night!!! He soon figured out what he was losing in choosing" her over me.

Does his high school have a guidance counselor? I'm really surprised that the school has not been pestering the teen about the very same topics you approached him about. Here the school starts in on the HS kids as soon as they are in 9th grade (freshman year here). By Junior year the kids are routinely called in to go over their schedules, speak of their future college/education/skill training plans. By senior year the kids can even do 1/2 work programs and/or earn partial college credits.

if the school and especially the mother haven't guided this SS to be ready for what happens four months from now, I seriously wonder what you thought the kid was going to say to you. It's his parent/s job to prepare this kid for the grown up world and getting ready to launch successfully. No kid that lives the carefree HS life until May of his senior year totally unmotivated by parent/s/school is going to do anything but 'oh, yeah, guess it's time to start wondering what I might do with my life in a few years,, guess I'll just chill and play video games for a while'.

You can pretty much bank you're wife isn't going to toss her son out the door penniless with no where to go come the 1st of June, so yes, now is the time to discuss with her what you both expect for after graduation. Whether that be a smooth discussion or not is going to depend on your DW. If she's good with Jr living at home, chillin', and just hanging out playing video games and sponging off her, perhaps with a part time job flipping fries or the video section at Best Buy? Yep. You've got problems headed your way. You need to lay out your expectations now so she can either help her son plan or help you pack your bags to hit the door yourself if she's ok with having an adult bum on her hands.

My SS18 is a senior this year. He has done nothing the past 4-5 years except sit on his ass and play games on his laptop. In the 8 years I have been living with him, he has not had a single friend over, never gone to a friend's house, never had a phone call - nothing. He won't go to school football or basketball games unless forced to go with our other kids. His grades are excellent, so I thought it would be a good idea for him to get a job and start saving for a car and/or community college if he wants to go. He doesn't want to go to school and have to work at the same time. It's beyond frustrating, and there's nothing I can do to MAKE him do anything. I try to disengage, but all I do is end up fuming every time I see him sitting on the couch. He will have no memories of high school, no goofing off with friends, no sneaking out with a friend. My DH says he's a good kid and never does anything wrong. That's because he doesn't DO ANYTHING!!!! The past 5 years, he has not willingly gone outside unless it's from the house to the car or being forced to mow the lawn.

I totally understand your frustration.

My bride and I have the solution to this problem. Chore Bitch!! That is the solution to this issue.

As soon as he graduated SS turns into your beck and call chore bitch. Take his key, rekey the exterior doors of the house and give him a chore list. When you and your DW leave for work in the morning that is work time and it continues until the last of you arrives home in the PM. If his chores are done he gets to do them all over again the next day. If they are not done you drag him out of bed and leave him on the front porch in his sleep clothes the next AM until who ever gets home first arrives home. Tell him if he sets foot inside the must do every chore on his list before he goes to sleep or he will be left on the front porch the next AM too. On the days he gets to stay inside and do his chore bitch list you disconnect the wireless router and the cable TV so he has no access to any form of online or broadcast entertainment.

My Skid graduated in early June and turned 18 in early August. He informed us he was not ready for college and that it would be a waste of our money and his time and that he did not want to get a job. So, we instantly made him our beck and call boy/chore bitch when he got home from his his final CO'd Sperm Land visitation.

He lasted 4mos then enlisted in the USAF on the delayed entry program. We continued to work his ass off as our chore bitch for 4 more months until he reported for Basic. (BMT). He is now 22 and will finish year 4 of his 6 year enlistment in April. He is doing great, enjoys his profession and is slowly working on his BSCS on the USAF's dime.

Chore bitch. That is your solution.

Work his ass off, disconnect him from all electronic entertainment and communication and when he tests your resolve leave his ass on the front step. Rain, snow, hot, cold, leave him there for the day in his skivies to realize that he resides in your home at your pleasure. On cold days we tossed the Skid his shoes and the comforter off of his bed when we dumped him on the front step on our way to work.

My son will be graduation this year too. He and I made an arrangement years ago..before HS even. If he is college full time he can stay with us until he finishes school but must help out around the house including cooking dinner some nights. IF he is in school part time he must have a part time job and help out as much as he can with expenses. If he decides no college for him he is to get a full time job, pay rent and his part of utilities and can save money for a year then he needs to be looking for a place of his own.
This day and age it's so hard to get kids ready for real life. I hope your wife will come around and realize she's not doing her son or society any favors by allowing that kind of attitude towards you, or adulthood.

We have just come back from 1 weeks holiday with the skids, ss14 and sd12. No point taking them as all they do is spend time on their screens. Rags- your life is the life I dream of- one where skids are held to account and made to do chores, a world where there are ramifications to their annoying bullshit. I've had a gutful from SS this holiday, never going anywhere with him again. He is a cheeky, annoying, sarcastic gobshite.