Question: Is there a "support group" for BM? You know, where they plot ways to use the skids into pissing the SM and dad? "it's his dad's bday? Well this is what you do girl: You and the kid dont call. Make plans, then not call. Card? what card? Screw that. Oh, and tell the kid to mention how much better your cooking is than hers" Please. There are legit women who dont get what they deserve, out of respect, I dont call them BM's. But we all know the exceptions. :sick:
I wouldn't say ruined but an annoyance (and a reason I should stay off facebook today). Most people have tons of Christmas pictures up of their kids and their gifts..well, my SD17 (who thankfully lives in another state with her BM), is commenting on everyone's posts about how she didn't get any presents this morning (we gave her a $150 visa gift card a few weeks ago) and how bored she is..like we should feel bad that her greedy BM signed up to work today..she always puts a damper on everyone's happy facebook posts. This kid has everything a 17 year old girl could want...yet she complains about what she doesn't have (even if it's a friggin cookie) so yeah..an ungrateful brat
"My" SS15 just sulked all day because we didn't put on a lavish spread with all the Christmas trimmings (ie work like a hog and cater for everyone)....No this year all we did was offer drinks and small nibbles (like chips and a cheese platter) as everyone who dropped in were on their way to lunches, dinners etc and didn't want MORE food.
Its like we deliberately ruined Christmas for SS15.
I was going to post the same thing. DH family christmas makes me want to poke a fork in my eye.
It's not so much the inlaw family, its SD15 when she is around. I don't know which is worse? She is around and I'm on eggshells because DH is so sensitive about her fee-fees, or she refuses to come and DH sulks and is sullen and detached because she wouldn't come. AND! she blames me for not coming.
How can it be that he doesn't see the manipulation?
BM hates me, causes imaginary BS in SD's head, SD tells every little detail about visits, BM finds something to twist, BM lashes out at DH, DH feels like he has to defend me so he puts BM in her place, SD gets mad at DH, and doesn't want to visit. DH and I get in to it because I'm too hard on his daughter.
Kidding me????
Then the one year I convinced him to go away, SD13 at the time, guilted him that it was family time and how dare he vacation with me...
I told him to ignore BM. I do. What the hell do I care what she says? She knows she is goading him and he played right in to it. Island gal said it best, "ignore the whore".
luckily we are almost through the holidays! Lets all say a little prayer for that. My step sons didn't get me or my son anything for Christmas. They are the most selfish human beings I know. My husband gave them a guilt trip and told them is wasn't very nice they never think of me on the holidays. So then when walking into the living room the other day I notice a gift card tucked into the tree skirt for me. They wanted it to look like they had originally gotten me a gift but that no one noticed it on Christmas...riiiiight.....oh well...
My husband doesn't understand that I don't want a gift from them if they have to be guilted into doing it...Sigh....
I will NEVER NEVER NEVER expect anything from SS16 for ANYTHING. In the 3 yrs Ive known his father, the kid gave him 3 gifts. Not B-days or father's day. Im told its his BM who wont let him. He is 100% by her (I hear). I dont think they give this child enough credit.
In your situation, not acknowledging they were maybe inconsiderate is just disrespectful. Wow. Maybe "You know what? Youre right. It was inconsiderate. We're sorry". But sneaking a card under the tree? Im sure it came from the heart though...riiiiight
One of my cousin's in-laws was visiting from El Salvador for the holidays. She doesn't speak English, but went out of her way to shop for all the kids at our family Christmas get together (about 11 total). I was shocked not just from the sheer thoughtfulness of it, but because of the cost to buy for all those kids whom she'd never met and is only related to through distance marriage! It honestly warmed my heart.
Anyway, when shopping, she did not know all the kids' ages so some of the gifts she bought were a little young for the skids. No biggie. But SD8 opened her gift and said to me, "I don't mean to be rude, but this is a baby toy and I don't want it". DH swooped in, made her apologize, and then made her pick out her favorite toy from the family exchange. The favorite gift was donated on the way home and SD6 ended up keeping SD8's "baby toy" because she loved them (toy horses which were not a baby toy at all, just a younger age range).
Yeah.. I spent months a a lot of money picking gifts. SD who will be 12 in a few weeks got nice clothes, make up, a vanity, expensive jewelry and one toy. Since she doesn't play with toys. Then spent that bight on the phone complaining to BM that she didn't want clothes, only toys, she doesn't get why she couldn't have more toys. Seriously she hasn't played with any toys in at least 2 years. She's about to go to junior high.and then told her mom that she only liked the jewelry cuz it was really expensive.and I of course didn't get a single thank you. She lives with us full time,dh has had custody for 5 yrs, I've been full time for 4 years, & its been 3 since BM has seen her...can we at least pretend for one day?! Nope
I litterally just sat through a 45 minute vent from my husband concerning his son not acknowledging his existence and how it makes him feel. The only reason we live in this state is because he wants to live close to him. We are within walking distance from him but matters not. He has plans to move, and pretty soon his son will hear about it. Plus, we want a kid of our own. Christmas surprise. I think I wouldnt want him around my kid anyway. Honestly, Id be scared hed do something to the child out of spite or jealousy. Am I crazy? Has anyone had their SC "accidentally" harm a biological child?
Well.. this year, SS got $150 cash and SD got a big fat nothing. Last year, SO got SD a kindle because she loves books and is an avid reader. That kindle was launched straight into the bin when she opened it because her daddy betrayed her by having a relationship with another woman. So, this year, she got nada - just a xmas card. Her attitude towards her father is horrible and until she adjusts and starts to treat him like her dad, this will be all she gets.
BM got SS something for his PC and I don't know nor care what she got SD. I do know that BM has tried to prevent SS from buying his father xmas & birthday gifts. She succeeded again this year with xmas, but I made sure he'd get something for his dad- even if it was just a card from him, so SS did get him a gift this year.. and I'll be on his case to get one every year. His Father has ALWAYS been there for both of his kids and supported them when BM abandoned them all, for 5 years. These kids need to learn how to be grateful and show appreciation. This teaches humility, which is what they need to function as decent human beings.
..we continue to ignore the whore that is BM... as long as I don't smell her toxicity anywhere near me and mine.. we're good.
Phrase of the day "Waterboard
Phrase of the day "Waterboard a skid". Made my day!
Question: Is there a "support
Question: Is there a "support group" for BM? You know, where they plot ways to use the skids into pissing the SM and dad? "it's his dad's bday? Well this is what you do girl: You and the kid dont call. Make plans, then not call. Card? what card? Screw that. Oh, and tell the kid to mention how much better your cooking is than hers" Please. There are legit women who dont get what they deserve, out of respect, I dont call them BM's. But we all know the exceptions. :sick:
I wouldn't say ruined but an
I wouldn't say ruined but an annoyance (and a reason I should stay off facebook today). Most people have tons of Christmas pictures up of their kids and their gifts..well, my SD17 (who thankfully lives in another state with her BM), is commenting on everyone's posts about how she didn't get any presents this morning (we gave her a $150 visa gift card a few weeks ago) and how bored she is..like we should feel bad that her greedy BM signed up to work today..she always puts a damper on everyone's happy facebook posts. This kid has everything a 17 year old girl could want...yet she complains about what she doesn't have (even if it's a friggin cookie) so yeah..an ungrateful brat
"My" SS15 just sulked all day
"My" SS15 just sulked all day because we didn't put on a lavish spread with all the Christmas trimmings (ie work like a hog and cater for everyone)....No this year all we did was offer drinks and small nibbles (like chips and a cheese platter) as everyone who dropped in were on their way to lunches, dinners etc and didn't want MORE food.
Its like we deliberately ruined Christmas for SS15.
**sigh**
The bad vibe all day ruined it for me.
I wish I would not play into his guilt trips.
Yup, totally get it dtzyblnd.
Yup, totally get it dtzyblnd. Always a downer with DH's family, always look sooooooo forward to Christmas with my own!
I was going to post the same
I was going to post the same thing. DH family christmas makes me want to poke a fork in my eye.
It's not so much the inlaw family, its SD15 when she is around. I don't know which is worse? She is around and I'm on eggshells because DH is so sensitive about her fee-fees, or she refuses to come and DH sulks and is sullen and detached because she wouldn't come. AND! she blames me for not coming.
How can it be that he doesn't see the manipulation?
BM hates me, causes imaginary BS in SD's head, SD tells every little detail about visits, BM finds something to twist, BM lashes out at DH, DH feels like he has to defend me so he puts BM in her place, SD gets mad at DH, and doesn't want to visit. DH and I get in to it because I'm too hard on his daughter.
Kidding me????
Then the one year I convinced him to go away, SD13 at the time, guilted him that it was family time and how dare he vacation with me...
I told him to ignore BM. I do. What the hell do I care what she says? She knows she is goading him and he played right in to it. Island gal said it best, "ignore the whore".
luckily we are almost through
luckily we are almost through the holidays! Lets all say a little prayer for that. My step sons didn't get me or my son anything for Christmas. They are the most selfish human beings I know. My husband gave them a guilt trip and told them is wasn't very nice they never think of me on the holidays. So then when walking into the living room the other day I notice a gift card tucked into the tree skirt for me. They wanted it to look like they had originally gotten me a gift but that no one noticed it on Christmas...riiiiight.....oh well...
My husband doesn't understand that I don't want a gift from them if they have to be guilted into doing it...Sigh....
Cheers to 2015! The last skid will turn 18
I will NEVER NEVER NEVER
I will NEVER NEVER NEVER expect anything from SS16 for ANYTHING. In the 3 yrs Ive known his father, the kid gave him 3 gifts. Not B-days or father's day. Im told its his BM who wont let him. He is 100% by her (I hear). I dont think they give this child enough credit.
In your situation, not acknowledging they were maybe inconsiderate is just disrespectful. Wow. Maybe "You know what? Youre right. It was inconsiderate. We're sorry". But sneaking a card under the tree? Im sure it came from the heart though...riiiiight
One of my cousin's in-laws
One of my cousin's in-laws was visiting from El Salvador for the holidays. She doesn't speak English, but went out of her way to shop for all the kids at our family Christmas get together (about 11 total). I was shocked not just from the sheer thoughtfulness of it, but because of the cost to buy for all those kids whom she'd never met and is only related to through distance marriage! It honestly warmed my heart.
Anyway, when shopping, she did not know all the kids' ages so some of the gifts she bought were a little young for the skids. No biggie. But SD8 opened her gift and said to me, "I don't mean to be rude, but this is a baby toy and I don't want it". DH swooped in, made her apologize, and then made her pick out her favorite toy from the family exchange. The favorite gift was donated on the way home and SD6 ended up keeping SD8's "baby toy" because she loved them (toy horses which were not a baby toy at all, just a younger age range).
Yeah.. I spent months a a lot
Yeah.. I spent months a a lot of money picking gifts. SD who will be 12 in a few weeks got nice clothes, make up, a vanity, expensive jewelry and one toy. Since she doesn't play with toys. Then spent that bight on the phone complaining to BM that she didn't want clothes, only toys, she doesn't get why she couldn't have more toys. Seriously she hasn't played with any toys in at least 2 years. She's about to go to junior high.and then told her mom that she only liked the jewelry cuz it was really expensive.and I of course didn't get a single thank you. She lives with us full time,dh has had custody for 5 yrs, I've been full time for 4 years, & its been 3 since BM has seen her...can we at least pretend for one day?! Nope
I litterally just sat through
I litterally just sat through a 45 minute vent from my husband concerning his son not acknowledging his existence and how it makes him feel. The only reason we live in this state is because he wants to live close to him. We are within walking distance from him but matters not. He has plans to move, and pretty soon his son will hear about it. Plus, we want a kid of our own. Christmas surprise. I think I wouldnt want him around my kid anyway. Honestly, Id be scared hed do something to the child out of spite or jealousy. Am I crazy? Has anyone had their SC "accidentally" harm a biological child?
Well.. this year, SS got $150
Well.. this year, SS got $150 cash and SD got a big fat nothing. Last year, SO got SD a kindle because she loves books and is an avid reader. That kindle was launched straight into the bin when she opened it because her daddy betrayed her by having a relationship with another woman. So, this year, she got nada - just a xmas card. Her attitude towards her father is horrible and until she adjusts and starts to treat him like her dad, this will be all she gets.
BM got SS something for his PC and I don't know nor care what she got SD. I do know that BM has tried to prevent SS from buying his father xmas & birthday gifts. She succeeded again this year with xmas, but I made sure he'd get something for his dad- even if it was just a card from him, so SS did get him a gift this year.. and I'll be on his case to get one every year. His Father has ALWAYS been there for both of his kids and supported them when BM abandoned them all, for 5 years. These kids need to learn how to be grateful and show appreciation. This teaches humility, which is what they need to function as decent human beings.
..we continue to ignore the whore that is BM... as long as I don't smell her toxicity anywhere near me and mine.. we're good.