So after venting on ST yesterday and hearing that you all agreed that DH was being an ass, I decided I was going to speak up and tell him what I needed from him. I was going to tell him that him missing his kids really isn't a priority right now; that he needs to man up and be present for me.

He called me at lunch time and I wasn't exactly cold to him. I was cool though. I told him how my world is crumbling around me. EVERYONE is expecting me to be strong for them as they go through their struggles and challenges. Everyone is dumping their woes on me and expecting me to have all of the answers.

I need someone to rescue me. I need someone to just hold me as I cry my eyes out, as I let go of the grief I am feeling every day so I can face tomorrow recharged and strong. I do NOT need to hear how you miss your kids . You miss them everyday. I get that. TODAY is different. TODAY your feelings about your kids don't come first. TODAY I need you.

So.......

He heard me. He realized he was insensitive and selfish. He realized that I have a tremendous amount on my plate and I need to know and feel like I'm not alone.

Before he left from work, he texted me to ask if I needed wine. He gets it. When he came home from work he just grabbed me and held me and I cried. He asked if I needed to talk. I said, no thanks. I'm all talked out at the moment. I spent most of the day on the phone with my friend whose brother died a week ago. We cried and cried. Then I spoke to my other friend who starts Chemo on Thanksgiving and cried some more with her. I cried some more with my mom who's scared to death of her upcoming cancer surgery...

He understood and just held me and said he was sorry for all of my pain and for him not being more considerate.

This morning he asked if I wanted to talk to him while he drove into work. I said no again, but please keep asking. I'm seeing a full day of patients today and I just can't go there and be a good doctor, too. He said he understood and told me that he will be online at 9:30 so he will be checking in through the day.

Ladies (and gents) I feel heard. I feel like he got it...this time. Thank you all for your support, (((hugs))) and encouragement. Your comments were what got me through my day. A million thanks.

P.S. We have a meeting tonight with our step family counselor...