You go and get the mother/grandmother can of "whooop-ass" out.

I was floored reading your post. Let's not even wander into the graveyard of values ... ie: intentionally having a child out of wedlock, whatever.

You HAVE grandchildren. So glad that SD decided to add to the list, but this little one will be your 4th grandbaby. Sorry that she cannot add.

I would be incandescent.

Isn't this the same as dads wanting SMs to view/love his kids as their own?? We may like/love our SKs, but it isn't the same as our love for our BKs. Those same feelings may come into play when dealing with stepgrands and biogrands. Once SD has her child, if someone were to ask her dad how many grandchildren he has, would it be wrong for him to say he has one?

On the flip side, a stepdad might actually be closer to his stepkids and stepgrands than he is to his bios.

I'm with Disneyfan. I don't understand why you'd bother really, you might get some short term satusfaction but ultimately it could jeopardise your DH's relationship with another grandchild on the back of your disdain for that child's mother. Don't drag the wee thing into it before its even born becsuse they'll be the one who misses out.

dp

You may not have a say in this.

How many SMs here have said they liked/loved their SKs UNTIL they had a child of their own? There's something about havint a baby (grand baby) of your own that changes how you view/feel about your steps.

I really liked my exSDs 9&7,but I didn't treat them the same way I treated my niece9 and nephew 7. I know for a fact that I would never treat biogrands and stepgrands the same.

You're already treating this grandchild differently simply because of the childs parentage. You wouldn't of posted otherwise ;-). Why fight something that is intrinsically inherent. Its how it is in blended families. Its much akin to having a closeness with your daughters children as they are more likely to seek their mum out more, see them more, babysit the kids more. You might even find your SD has a much greater appreciation and newfound perspective on many things when her child is born. Don't be quick to write her off over a backhanded comment just yet.

God protect anyone who tried to tell my parents that my SS-22 is not their grandkid. He may not be their first grandchild but he is their eldest grandchild. My bride and I married a week before SS turned 2yo. My niece (my brother's eldest of 3) was 5mos old when we married. My parents had a relationship with my Skid before my niece was born.

So, you are right to clear up SD's toxic bullshit regarding making her father a Granddad. Your children have already done that. The fact that she is manipulating to give her first spawn some kind of special place of priority in the lexicon of grandkids in your family should be addressed firmly by both you and your DH.

IMHO of course.

But your grandkids are his step grandkids. Maybe your SD was just saying a 'bio grandkid' as in has your DHs DNA.

I'm not saying you DH can't or doesn't accept them like his own, my DSO thinks of my bio gkids as his, but isn't this what we complain about all the time....having to accept steps the same as bios.

Don't let her immature ramblings get to you, it doesn't matter how SHE sees it, it matters how your DH does. If he views all the grandchildren as his grandchildren, who cares what your SD says or thinks?

It burns my SD23 that her dad is closer to our niece (my sister's daughter) than he is to SD's two children. Well, SD, there is a reason for that, look in the mirror and you will see it.

I love SD. I've been around since she was 4.

My first grandchild will be born from my son. Her kids will be treated as my grandkid, but it won't be the same. They will have grandma & grandpa (DH & BM) & I will be something of a 3rd wheel. My child, I will be grandma to his kids, no questions asked.

Same as my child I am pregnant with now is my first child. SD is not mine.